# The whole "Zombie Apocalypse" thing has finally achieved patent absurdity. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 18, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040 "2011-10-18T14:56:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/21 "2011-10-18T16:31:03Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > That’s it, I’m invisible around here. I apologize; I didn’t read your “grains” the same way as “Graaaaaaaaaaaains…” You were first, but it didn’t have the same feeeeeeeeeeeeeling. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/22 "2011-10-18T16:41:46Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > Companies have also jumped on the bandwagon with [novelty products](http://gizmodo.com/195294/the-zombie-preparedness-kit) that people eat up . . . They’re unclear on the concept, then . . . ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/23 "2011-10-18T16:56:55Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > I’m afraid that this particular liberal, who has softened his stance on gun ownership during his years in the United States, doesn’t see what the big fucking deal is. > > Gun owners are constantly telling us that guns are just another tool, that they are safe in the hands of a responsible and informed user, that they don’t just “go off” and kill people by accident, and that there’s nothing wrong with teaching kids to shoot as long as it’s done responsibly. > > If i accept that all of this is true (and, for the most part, i think i do), then why are a few jokes about the zombie apocalypse suddenly such a big fucking deal? There are plenty of “deadly serious” topics that spawn insider jokes and stupid consumer paraphernalia and collectors’ items. > > Intelligent and responsible gun owners—the sort of people who, you constantly assure us, constitute the vast majority of gun owners—surely understand the difference between joking about taking out zombies, on the one hand, and discussing proper firearm use, on the other. They know that, while the actor on _The Walking Dead_ might blast away at zombies with impunity, they should never aim a real gun at a real person unless in self-defense. > > As for the crazy fringe groups discussed by **Una** , surely you recognize that people this fucking loony will always find something to be paranoid about, or some imaginary danger to guard against. It’s not the “zombie apocalypse” rhetoric that makes these people scary and dangerous, or that is the cause of their separatist or survivalist mentality. What makes them scary and dangerous is that they are fucking whack jobs, and if there were no “zombie apocalypse” thing to latch onto, they’d find something else quickly enough. The “zombie apocalypse” is, in this case, merely a symptom and not the cause of the problem. > > In short: Yawn. I see. So since this is a symptom and not the cause of the problem we have no reason to be concerned about what it might lead to? It’s as if we have no reason to be concerned about, say, drunk driving, because after all that’s just a symptom of alcohol consumption. As a gun owner and gun-rights advocate I see this as a joke run amok. My concern is that one day this won’t be a joke, and by then it’s too late. But, as you said, it’s just a joke, nothing to be concerned about here. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/24 "2011-10-18T17:03:46Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > My concern is that one day this won’t be a joke, and by then it’s too late. …You’re going to have to elucidate, because the way I’m reading this, you’re suggesting that one day the zombies will come, and because we’ll have been suckered in by joke products we won’t be properly prepared. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/25 "2011-10-18T17:04:04Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > That’s it, I’m invisible around here. It’s all about presentation. Just ask Lady Gaga. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/26 "2011-10-18T17:07:35Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Grrrr… Arrrrgh… Hee hee. > [@Kolga](#): > > That’s it, I’m invisible around here. Who said that? 🙂 I like a nice Zombie Apocalypse as much as the next person, but I’m just screwing around - that is, not taking it seriously. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/27 "2011-10-18T17:12:27Z")
Quite frankly the zombie thing is overdone in every respect. They finally wore out vampires about ten years ago, and now zombies are worn out. The other day I saw a T-shirt in the style of the British “Kep Calm and Carry On” signs saying “Keep Calm and Kill Zombies.” It was like the Perfect Storm Of Really Tired Pop Culture; a Zombie reference married to a Keep Calm joke on a hipster-friendly T-shirt. We need a 25-year moratorium (ha!) on all zombie stuff; no TV shows, no movies, no books. It’s time we had some new monsters. The new “Thing” remake is apparently a mixed bag but at least we haven’t had an Alien Monster In The Shadows movie in awhile. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/28 "2011-10-18T17:16:34Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > My concern is that one day this won’t be a joke, and by then it’s too late. This is pretty much just slippery slope-ing. Even ‘novelty’ ammunition doesn’t actually raise any real red flags. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/29 "2011-10-18T17:27:36Z")
I also have to point out the OP is wrong to say this ammo “has finally achieved patent absurdity.” Zombie Max is trademarked, but they make no claims about even a pending patent. And considering the amount of prior art that exists on this topic, I just can’t see it happening. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/30 "2011-10-18T17:27:53Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > I see. So since this is a symptom and not the cause of the problem we have no reason to be concerned about what it might lead to? It’s as if we have no reason to be concerned about, say, drunk driving, because after all that’s just a symptom of alcohol consumption. I’m pretty sure that you are smarter than you would have to be to believe that this is an appropriate analogy. Firstly, in talking about the “zombie apocalypse” as a symptom, i was talking specifically about the way that it is used by the survivalists and separatists that **Una** describes in her post. These people’s obsession with the “zombie apocalypse” is merely a symptom of their larger craziness, a craziness that they would point in another direction if there were no “zombie apocalypse” trend to latch onto. The sort of people who use arguments about zombies in order to foment conspiracy theories about Obama or blacks or Mexicans are the sort of people who will _always_ find some way to demonize Obama and blacks and Mexicans. It’s not that we have no reason to be concerned about such people; it’s just that such people should concern us even when they’re _not_ talking about zombies. Someone who hordes guns against the imagined threat of an imminent government or black or Mexican takeover is, in my opinion, really not much more scary than someone who hordes guns against the imagined threat of an imminent zombie takeover. As for all the people who buy silly “In case of zombies, break glass” wall hangings, or overpriced anti-zombie ammo, what’s the big deal? If they’re responsible and thoughtful gun owners, they won’t be a problem anyway because they understand the difference between the real world and the fantasy world. And if they’re crazy lunatics then they’re a problem whether or not their particular obsession happens to be zombies. The drunk driving/alcohol consumption connection you make here is just retarded, and yet i can actually use it to make my own point. We have every reason to be concerned about drunk driving, because it is dangerous to the person who does it, and to other road users. But we also recognize that one can drink alcohol without driving drunk. Millions of people drink alcohol every day without driving drunk. And responsible gun owners are, in this analogy, just like responsible consumers of alcohol. They can buy guns and they can joke about the “zombie apocalypse” without causing any harm to anyone else. If and when some irresponsible asshole uses the zombie apocalypse as an excuse to hurt or kill someone, we should punish that person, just like we punish irresponsible assholes who drink and then drive. Until then, we just leave the responsible drinkers and the responsible zombie hunters alone to enjoy their hobbies. One central argument often made by gun owners is that we should not use the actions of a few irresponsible assholes as an excuse to clamp down on all gun owners. If some guy in Tennessee left a loaded gun in the house, and his kid shot himself, that’s not a problem with guns, but with that particular gun owner. And yet it seems that, in this particular case, you are arguing that a few (potentially) irresponsible people (who haven’t even actually done any harm to anyone yet, as far as i can tell) are a massive problem for the whole culture, and need to stop doing the harmless thing that they have been doing because it could end up being dangerous, in some unspecified way, at some unspecified time in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/31 "2011-10-18T17:28:43Z")
Note to self. Resurrect this thread in one year. And now we play the waiting game… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/32 "2011-10-18T17:30:10Z")
Meh, the waiting game sucks. Let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/33 "2011-10-18T17:30:17Z")
I do hope the root of this argument isn’t simply that **Doors** is cheesed that a geeky meme made its way into his sphere of interest. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/34 "2011-10-18T17:37:02Z")
If zombies eat cow brains with BSE, or people brains with Creutzfeld-Jakob, can they get the disease and become even _less_ coherent? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/35 "2011-10-18T17:42:18Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > The proliferation of first-person-shooter zombie games has helped spread this to kids, so now they discuss in earnest what guns would be best even though a good number of them only know what they’ve gleaned from video games, which is hardly the best way to learn about guns. or zombies!! > [@](#): > > Disclaimer: Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is NOT a toy (IT IS LIVE AMMUNITION), but is intended only to be used on…ZOMBIES, also known as the living dead, undead, etc. No human being, plant, animal, vegetable or mineral should ever be shot with Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition. Again, we repeat, Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is for use on ZOMBIES ONLY, and that’s not a nickname, phrase or cute way of referring to anybody, place or thing. When we say Zombies, we mean…ZOMBIES! Actually that’s not entirely accurate. Zombie Max ammo is perfectly effective against crazies, rage virus infected, splicers, junkies, some mutants, pretty much most things you would want to shoot on sight. ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/36 "2011-10-18T17:53:35Z")
Frankly, I don’t see the zombie apocalypse as all that different from any other unlikely scenario that internet gun nerds constantly fantasize about shooting their way out of. At least (most) of them realize it’s make believe. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/37 "2011-10-18T18:21:15Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > As for all the people who buy silly “In case of zombies, break glass” wall hangings, or overpriced anti-zombie ammo, what’s the big deal? If they’re responsible and thoughtful gun owners, they won’t be a problem anyway because they understand the difference between the real world and the fantasy world. And if they’re crazy lunatics then they’re a problem whether or not their particular obsession happens to be zombies. Those people don’t concern me, or even irritate me. I just…well, it’s difficult to describe, I get this undercurrent of a real feeling of eroticized violence which underlies a lot of the conversation. I read things like teenage girls (or people pretending to be, at least) talking about how great it would be to be gang-raped by zombies, while they’re eating her. Or teenage boys (or so they say) talking about zombie harems, and describing in detail how they wish that so-and-so at their school was a zombie, so they could have sex with her…maybe I’m getting overload from reading this shit. Sometimes working for Cecil means you read and learn about things you don’t really want to discover. So going back to the start of my paragraph, I see this ammunition as building on the eroticized violence aspect. > [@](#): > > One central argument often made by gun owners is that we should not use the actions of a few irresponsible assholes as an excuse to clamp down on all gun owners. If some guy in Tennessee left a loaded gun in the house, and his kid shot himself, that’s not a problem with guns, but with that particular gun owner. While this is true, I personally feel responsible gun owners should police themselves. I see the zombie ammunition as applying a fetish to something which is a dangerous item which demands responsible use and care. Just as I don’t find amusing things like…well, like Airman described in his OP, about the woman getting hit in the nose with a Desert Eagle - I don’t think that’s funny at all, and I think it shows that a “responsible gun owner” gave a weapon to a person who was obviously not prepared to or able to handle it safely and to maintain control of their weapon. I don’t know if I’m expressing this well, so I’m certain someone will flame me over it. ---
**Author:** ![Bone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bone/32/407_2.png) [@Bone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bone)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/38 "2011-10-18T18:23:29Z")
[The meme is also getting a hold of the classics.](http://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Zombies-Classic-Ultraviolent/dp/1594743347) ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/39 "2011-10-18T18:33:26Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > I read things like teenage girls (or people pretending to be, at least) talking about how great it would be to be gang-raped by zombies, while they’re eating her. Or teenage boys (or so they say) talking about zombie harems, and describing in detail how they wish that so-and-so at their school was a zombie, so they could have sex with her…maybe I’m getting overload from reading this shit. Sometimes working for Cecil means you read and learn about things you don’t really want to discover. :eek: Yeeeaaah. I’m not a big, like, zombie-fan or anything, but I’ve got nothing against the meme and rather enjoy it, and I’ve never come across anything like that. I don’t doubt it exists, but it’s really not a prevalent aspect of the meme. The whole “appeal” of zombies is that they’re a threat to humanity that can be countered with a whole lot of wanton violence and no personal guilt over mass murder. Sure, it’s violence porn, but this eroticism you mention is very, very far from the core appeal. I maintain that the bullets are no more harmful than a sharpened replica of [Narsil](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narsil), except insofar as the general concept that a firearm represents easier access to significant violence than a sword. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/40 "2011-10-18T18:34:18Z")
The way I see it zombies have been pretty much played out. At this point there are only two things you can legitimately use zombies for. 1. Horror. Like vampires and ghosts and werewolves, zombies will always have a place in the genre that created them. A well written horror novel or movie using zombies will still work. 2. Something original. But the window is closing here. Zombies have been so overused that there are almost no original ways left to use them. It was a good idea when Seth Grahame-Smith wrote _Pride and Prejudice and Zombies_ but writing a horror satire of a classic novel is no longer a good idea. It was a good idea when Mark Millar wrote the Ultimate Fantastic Four Crossover arc but turning super heroes into zombies is no longer a good idea. It was a good idea when Max Brooks wrote a pseudo-factual account of a zombie apocalypse but writing a pseudo-factual book about how to fight zombies is no longer a good idea. It was a good idea the first time somebody made some zombie porn but … actually no it wasn’t. Zombie porn was a bad idea right from the start. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040.md?page=3)