# The whole "Zombie Apocalypse" thing has finally achieved patent absurdity. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 18, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040 "2011-10-18T14:56:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/41 "2011-10-18T18:37:52Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > That’s it, I’m invisible around here. I laughed at yours first. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/42 "2011-10-18T18:38:46Z")
The OP can have my zombie apocalypse meme when he pries it from my cold, dead hands! Okay, actually he can have it a lot sooner than that, because I’m pretty well burnt out on zombies these days, but I do think his reaction is a tinge on the hysterical side. Crazy racist zombie fetishists aren’t scary because of the zombie fetish, they’re scary because of the crazy racism. Take away the zombies, and they’re still every bit as scary. And kids like to play with toy guns. How is little Timmy playing _Left 4 Dead 2_ more dangerous than little Johnny playing WWII? There’s an argument to be made about the problems inherent in a gun culture like we have in the US, and the effects growing up in that culture has on children, but if that’s your concern, it shouldn’t stop at the shores of _Zombieland_ - the same problem exists in _Call of Duty_ games, in GI Joe toys, and all the other ways our society has turned guns into children’s toys. Zombie are just the current pop expression of our cultural obsession with firearms. If you think there’s a problem there, then its a problem with much, much deeper roots than George Romero. ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/43 "2011-10-18T18:48:10Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > I get this undercurrent of a real feeling of eroticized violence which underlies a lot of the conversation. I read things like teenage girls (or people pretending to be, at least) talking about how great it would be to be gang-raped by zombies, while they’re eating her. **Or teenage boys (or so they say) talking about zombie harems, and describing in detail how they wish that so-and-so at their school was a zombie, so they could have sex with her…** (bolding mine) There are a lot of sexual fetishes, they’d exist even if nobody had thought of putting zombies in them, and we’re more exposed to them now that the Internet permits us to anonymously talk about our darkest fantasies. But for most people, that’s only what it is: a fantasy. The women fantasizing about being raped and eaten by zombies is probably only an offshoot of the rape fetish. This said, I do find the bolded part perturbating, especially since it makes no sense to me. Are zombie girls supposed to be easy? This I cannot connect easily to any other (non-zombie) sexual meme. Unless it’s just the concept of wanting easy access to unintelligent women whom you can just fuck, without having to consider them as human beings. If so, it would be a bit worrisome. But probably fairly harmless anyway, so long as it remains in the realm of fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/44 "2011-10-18T18:56:42Z")
Thanks to everybody who reassured me that I’m not invisible. \ You like me, you really like me! > [@Bosstone](#): > > :eek: > > Yeeeaaah. I’m not a big, like, zombie-fan or anything, but I’ve got nothing against the meme and rather enjoy it, and I’ve never come across anything like that. I don’t doubt it exists, but it’s really not a prevalent aspect of the meme. The whole “appeal” of zombies is that they’re a threat to humanity that can be countered with a whole lot of wanton violence and no personal guilt over mass murder. Sure, it’s violence porn, but this eroticism you mention is very, very far from the core appeal. I, on the other hand, read a ton of zombie fiction, both traditionally published and online, and have YET to come across a significant amount of zombie erotica (I can actually only remember one mention of the possibility, in passing, in one serialized story I read online). I will admit that it’s possible that there’s an enormous subculture of zombie fiction involving eroticized necrophilia that I have yet to discover, but I also hang out with people who read a ton of zombie fiction, and it’s not something they’ve ever mentioned, either. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/45 "2011-10-18T19:02:21Z")
Well, who the fuck would? I mean, if I somehow read some zombie necro-erotica, and it turned me on, Goddess forfend, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t tell _anybody_! Ever! I’d be getting restraining orders from women who don’t even know who I am! ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/46 "2011-10-18T19:25:26Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > Those people don’t concern me, or even irritate me. I just…well, it’s difficult to describe, I get this undercurrent of a real feeling of eroticized violence which underlies a lot of the conversation. I read things like teenage girls (or people pretending to be, at least) talking about how great it would be to be gang-raped by zombies, while they’re eating her. Or teenage boys (or so they say) talking about zombie harems, and describing in detail how they wish that so-and-so at their school was a zombie, so they could have sex with her…maybe I’m getting overload from reading this shit. Sometimes working for Cecil means you read and learn about things you don’t really want to discover. How is that different from all the vampire stuff that’s out there these days? Or is it because vampires are “socially acceptible” looking undead reanimated corpses? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/47 "2011-10-18T19:28:23Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > How is that different from all the vampire stuff that’s out there these days? Or is it because vampires are “socially acceptible” looking undead reanimated corpses? It’s not too much different, but the topic of the thread is about zombies. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/48 "2011-10-18T19:54:22Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > How is that different from all the vampire stuff that’s out there these days? Or is it because vampires are “socially acceptible” looking undead reanimated corpses? Vampires are good-looking (except nosferatu, which aren’t usually eroticized). They dress well, they look as good as the day they died, they lure, and then they seductively kill you. Vampires have been metaphorically linked with losing virginity at least since Dracula. He had a thing for sweet young pure women. Zombies shamble, fall apart, and smell like rotting flesh. I challenge that one runs into zombie erotica often without seeking it out deliberately. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/49 "2011-10-18T20:20:55Z")
I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. I wouldn’t have done it but I though he was a zombie. ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/50 "2011-10-18T20:48:57Z")
I agree with the OP. The zombie apocalypse thing has had, what, almost a two-thousand-year run in Western culture? That’s far too fucking long. At least it will all come to an end this Friday. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/51 "2011-10-18T20:50:34Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Vampires have been metaphorically linked with losing virginity at least since Dracula. He had a thing for sweet young pure women. It predates Dracula. Authors like John Polidori, Alexsei Tolstoi, and Sheridan Le Fanu had already worked on the idea of vampirism as a metaphor for forbidden sex. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/52 "2011-10-18T21:13:46Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > They are serious business, and this makes them somewhat less serious…Lest you think I am overreacting… Just checking here. Aren’t you the guy that brought a gun to a bar and then dropped into def-con four when somebody shone a laser pointer at you? Yeah. I’ll bet the zombie apocalypse is actually your wet dream, I bet you’d love that shit. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/53 "2011-10-18T22:13:29Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Grrrr… Arrrrgh… That’s not a zombie, that’s a **Mutant Enemy**! ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/54 "2011-10-18T23:08:14Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Meh, the waiting game sucks. Let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos. No one ever wants to play Edna Krabappoly… ---
**Author:** ![SeaCanary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@SeaCanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaCanary)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/55 "2011-10-18T23:32:15Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I challenge that one runs into zombie erotica often without seeking it out deliberately. I bet [Cassandra Peterson](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra_Peterson#Elvira_Begins:_Movie_Macabre) (even if she is 60) could generate some zombie eroticism for the hoi polloi. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/56 "2011-10-19T00:00:28Z")
If you’re really worried about zombies, [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) can help you out:[One of many Zombie apocalypse survival gear lists.](http://www.amazon.com/gp/richpub/syltguides/fullview/R2IIABFUYR9QJ2/ref=cm_srch_tsr_rpsy_alt) Better safe than some goon’s breakfast. 🙂 And, I can’t remember where I saw it, but there was a poster which depicted what looks like a modern day mountain man with the caption, “The hardest thing about a zombie apocalypse will be trying to conceal how much I’m enjoying it.” As for me…I don’t take zombies seriously at all, but some recent natural disasters have prompted me to prepare a couple of backpacks filled with everything I would need to survive pretty well for at least three days if there were a Katrina-esque event here in Minnesota. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/57 "2011-10-19T01:36:49Z")
The ice spiders keep the zombie population down below noticeable levels. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/58 "2011-10-19T02:08:54Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Well, who the fuck would? I mean, if I somehow read some zombie necro-erotica, and it turned me on, Goddess forfend, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t tell _anybody_! Ever! **I’d be getting restraining orders from women who don’t even know who I am!** So…same shit, different day? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/59 "2011-10-19T02:24:54Z")
Speaking as a disinterested party (not a weapon owner, not a connoisseur of revenants), I’d say I prefer that certain subjects be treated with a bit of solemnity (read: _buzzkill_). Live ammunition is one of them. Religious materials would be another example. F’rinstance, it the Sisters of St. Groucho were to offer to sell capsacin-laced Communion hosts to Catholic parishes (“Fool your communicants! Laffs galore!”), I’d find it inappropriate in pretty much the same way that I find the idea of novelty live ammo to be. Although, come to think, of it April First _does_ fall on a Sunday next year… ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040/60 "2011-10-19T02:30:54Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > How is that different from all the vampire stuff that’s out there these days? Or is it because vampires are “socially acceptible” looking undead reanimated corpses? I suspect the difference is that vampire sex is just like human-to-human sex, since vampires generally retain at least a human level of intelligence (these days, at least), while zombie sex is more like bestiality, since zombies are mindless killing-and-eating machines, essentially. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-zombie-apocalypse-thing-has-finally-achieved-patent-absurdity/600040.md?page=4)