If you really wish not to give offense, don’t use offensive terms like “retards.” I will give you one last benefit of the doubt that you really are ignorant that this is a derogatory term. I can absolutely assure you that no one who is retarded, nor any of those who have mentally retarded loved ones, finds the term neutral. Most of us cringe when we hear it.
And no one is disputing that the mentally retarded have challenges. The point was, and is, that decent people ought not to use these problems as fodder for “humorous” analogies. If your analogy was so innocent, would you make it in the same room as a mentally retarded individual? Would you be comfortable doing so? If not, then perhaps you should rethink your position. And if you would be comfortable, then you are an insensitive oaf–but, again, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, for the moment at least.
This is just my opinion, but yes, unless you were to try and use these terms as the no-longer accepted psychology definitions they once were. IOW, if you refer to mildly retarded people as “morons,” you’re an asshole.
However, again just IMO, those words have lost those denotations, and have passed into the lexicon as meaning, simply, a fool or a person who acts stupidly. I don’t know of anyone who takes offense to these words (except in the manner I described above), but I will gladly abandon their usage if I find that there are people who do. While I generally am not inclined to indulge those who find offense in obscure connotations, when it relates to those people most in need of our concern and protection, I consider it a simple concession.
And, just to make my opinion crystal clear, “retard” is a completely different matter. Everyone knows that this refers specifically to the mentally retarded, that it likens people to those who are in that category. I know of no one close to a mentally retarded person who does not take offense to this. There is nothing obscure about this. It is by definition a denigration of the mentally retarded.
You take offense because you choose to take offense. Why not just treat “retard” like “moron”? You say “Everyone knows that this refers specifically to the mentally retarded”, well, that’s simply not true anymore. In the context it was used, it means exactly the same as “moron” or “idiot”.
I know where Bob Cos is coming from. I work with the developmentally disabled (mentally retarded) and while I knew the OP used the term “retard” as “moron” or “idiot”, I did cringe a little. I don’t bring it up everytime I see it (I guess I just get exhausted) but truly–people do need to know that it is not an okay term to use as a slur. I always kind of hear “REtard” in my head, and it sounds cruel. Even though I know that the OP wasn’t thinking that and didn’t have any intention of being cruel like that.
The word “retard” makes those of us who have mentally retarded people in our lives cringe. Just an FYI.
Getting back to the topic of BuyMusic.com… this review certainly does not recommend BuyMusic. Among some of her complaints are:
And then there’s this:
And then there’s this:
Read the review for yourself; it’s very interesting. Basically, she could never get her computer to burn CDs and until she made a HUGE stink, Buymusic was going to leave her high and dry and not refund her money. She couldn’t transfer the music to another computer and burn CDs there, because Buymusic won’t allow that. And then the final insult is that they will sell customer’s personal information without their consent.
I don’t have any experience using it, and going into too much detail is probably against some unwritten forum rule, but I remember there being a program that would remove the DRM.
Keeping in mind that the R in DRM is a complete sham, because they are selling a product and then restricting your rights to use it, I don’t think there is anything unethical about nixing it.
Godalmighty, that sounds like a crappy service. It’s a much bigger pain in the ass than buying the friggin’ CD at a brick n’ mortar store and ripping the MP3s yourself. WTF are they thinking?
I’m not a native English speaker and do not live in an English-speaking country, so I never use the term as anything but a synonym for “moron”. Also, I’m part of a subculture that has more or less adapted the English word “retard” to use in that sense. That’s why it was the first word that popped into my head when I wrote the subject line (which was done in five seconds). Since I hear it and use it as often as I do, it sounds neutral to me. I do apologize for any offense taken.
As I said back at the start of this thread, “Once again, Apple introduces a quality product, and the fly-by-night clowns come along with a half-assed knockoff.”
Fly-by-night clowns? Check.
Half-assed knockoff? Check.
Gullible Windows users? The jury’s still out on that one, at least.
**Yep, and when my cranky old Uncle Benny says somebody is as “shiftless as a nigger,” I know what he means in that context, and we should all just choose not to take offense. Gotcha.
**OK, how about “virtually everyone in America knows this.” Were you confused by the term? Did it’s origin escape you? I didn’t think so.
Yes, and it is still offensive to the mentally retarded. Why do you assume these conditions are mutually exclusive?
I should have realized it’s impossible to take away the warm glow of finding offense. Please, by all means, take whatever pleasure you get from finding offense where none is intended. I apologize for trying to stem the tide of extreme offense-searching.
Right. Something’s not offensive because Revtim says it’s not. You know what? It’s a free country. Use whatever terms you want. But keep your own sanctimony to yourself. Something ain’t acceptable because you have deemed it so.
Answer the question I directed to Priceguy earlier, smartass. I dare you. If there was a mentally retarded person and his family in the room would you be perfectly comfortable using the term “retard”?
If your answer is no, that says something about your convictions regarding how inoffensive the term is. If your answer is yes, you’re an asshole. I’ll leave it to you to conduct your own straw poll to see if your own acquaintances agree that using this term in front of a mentally retarded individual is insensitive and cruel.
Go on. Explain yourself, Mr. High and Mighty, since you’re above all this semantic bullshit. I can’t wait.
I wouldn’t be comfortable saying it, but neither would I be comfortable saying “moron”, “idiot”, or “stupid”. I don’t think I’d even be comfortable using the word “retarded” for its medical definition in the presence of a retarded person, because the slur is the first meaning that comes to mind.
Please explain what other inference to take from this:
**If the word is offensive only to those who choose to take offense, then the word is not inherently offensive. Why? Because you say so, unless there was some other support I missed. The fucking word is offensive by definition, by the way, but let’s not let that get in the way of your crusade to stem the tide of extreme offense-searching.
And, gee, I noticed you neglected to answer my question. It was a simple one. Why don’t you give it a try?
**Why? If you’re being sensitive to the fact that some offense might be inferred, you’re a good egg, but I, for one, would not be offended by these terms unless someone used them (“moron” and “idiot,” that is) to refer specifically to retarded people. As I mentioned before, if I have misread this, and there are people who take offense, I would stop using the terms.
You mean, would I use the word “retard” in the presence of the mentally disabled? Of course I wouldn’t. But just because there’s an occasion where a phrase or word is inappropriate doesn’t mean it should be fobidden by the offenderati in every situation. Practically any insult or joke will have a situation where it’s inappropriate. Does that mean one should only mumble to themselves in the corner?
Have fun finding getting offended by practically every thing you hear and read, because nearly all of it can be inappropriate under the right circumstances.
