# The Wisdom of Eve **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2004, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512 "2004-04-22T21:27:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/21 "2004-04-23T12:48:55Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > This is going to be a very short thread unless anyone collected my old _Movieline_ columns–no matter how brilliant the bon mots I may have dropped here, y’can’t search “Eve.” Heh, heh, heh. I can’t search “Eve,” but I _can_ search for all posts by **Eve**. Don’t make me use it! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/22 "2004-04-23T12:53:04Z")
I shall alter my sig lines in your honor, **Eve**. Not that I don’t do that twice a week _anyway_, still… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/23 "2004-04-23T13:47:34Z")
> [@Mr. Moto](#): > > **Eve** , have you ever read any Florence King? Your writing style puts me in mind of her. _Thank_ you, dear—I frequently quote one of her treasures: “I could never understand child abuse. In order to abuse a child, you’d have to be in the same _room_ with one.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/24 "2004-04-23T13:55:11Z")
The mind reels. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/25 "2004-04-23T14:23:16Z")
She’s the Reel Deal, a good part of what got me hooked on this place. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/26 "2004-04-23T14:35:04Z")
Back in my student days, I once quoted Eve in film class. I attributed the comment to the former _Moveline_ columnist and everything, although I left out the fact that I was actually quoting one of her online message board posts. 🙂 Sadly, I can’t now remember what the quote _was_ (I’ve had a long day at the office!), but it was witty and insightful and had something to do with film…which doesn’t really narrow the field much! ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/27 "2004-04-23T15:25:29Z")
Sign me up as an Eve fan too-she makes me giggle and that’s a very good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/28 "2004-04-23T15:42:22Z")
In the thread about the shredding of Eve’s diary, Eve mentioned that a particular day in 1976 (11/21 to be exact) was boring, except for a passage that was censored by her. I remarked that whatever it was she took out, it had to be better than childbirth, which is what I was in the throes of on that day. The exchange went like this: > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Kalhoun > Mundane as it was (although I’m curious about what was censored) it beats the bejeezus out of “pant, pant, push, push, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BRING MORE DRUGS!!!” Eve’s reply: > [@](#): > > . . . Actually, that was what was censored . . . I still giggle when I think of this one! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/29 "2004-04-23T16:02:43Z")
An Amazing Doper with a staggering post count. In other words: QUANTITY & QUALITY! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/30 "2004-04-23T16:29:19Z")
I use to read Movieline. Loved it. One of my favorite little bon mots was this writer who found and reviewed forgotten videos at the video store. As I lost the will power to interact with the human species on a face-to-face basis and was assimilated in to the Vortex of Doperdom, there was this writer that was just so funny and her stuff was always spot on. Always. When Eve revealed herself and told us of her nefarious Movieline past, I was flabbergasted, simply flabbergasted. I mean, how cool is that (!) and what are the chances in this crazy world of this happening? When Movieline gave Eve the boot, I gave Movieline the boot. (It wasn’t too hard, they were sucking pretty hard by then. But they made fun of me in a letters to the editor and I smite them still. Bastards.) Yay for Eve! ---
**Author:** ![Jadis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@Jadis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jadis)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/31 "2004-04-23T16:53:29Z")
From the [Eve vs. Glurge](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=115336) thread: > [@](#): > > **Originally posted by _Eve_** > As I was walking down life’s highway many years ago I came upon a sign that read Heaven’s Grocery Store. When I got a little closer the doors swung open wide. And when I came to myself I was standing inside. I saw a host of angels. They were standing everywhere, repricing the Slim Jims and making sure the magazine racks were full. One handed me a basket and said, "My child, shop with care. And did you bring your Plus Price Card with you?” Everything a human needed was in that grocery store. Except Nivea moisturzing spray. That’s only a tidbit…the whole thing was absolute genuis. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/32 "2004-04-23T18:44:11Z")
I’ll be away and computerless this weekend, but I didn’t want you to think that just because I’m not logging on, that I’m not _hugely_ flattered to the point of embarrassment by all this . . . ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/33 "2004-04-23T20:33:33Z")
Eve’s sweetly ascerbic remarks remind me a lot of Dorothy Parker, especially when she reviewed A. A. Milne’s newest Pooh book under her pen name, Constant Reader: > [@](#): > > . . And it is that word ‘hummy,’ my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up." ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/34 "2004-04-23T21:00:55Z")
You mean **Eve** _isn’t_ Dorothy Parker? You know, there are a lot of really good posters here on the SDMB, but few have spawned as many tributes as **Eve** has. Which just goes to show that the phase _creme de la creme_ really does mean something. (It’s just not as good over ice cream as _creme de la menthe_.) ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/35 "2004-04-23T21:24:43Z")
I have to say that my personal favorite was the sitcom “Leave it to Jesus - I’m really worried about the Jeez…” Which brings to mind “Welcome Back Jesus” with its cast of zany sweathog apostles and “The Christ is Right” christiandom’s favorite game show. ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/36 "2004-04-23T22:20:17Z")
The dialogue she wrote in the “gotcha ya” thread of infamy has me rolling on the floor no matter how many times I have read it before. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/37 "2004-04-23T22:31:16Z")
From a post on “Ken Burns’ Jazz”: “Also took note of the section wherein Lousi Armstrong developed the cure for polio, introduced Doug Fairbanks to Mary Pickford, and singlehandedly apprihended Bruno Richard Hauptmann” ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/38 "2004-04-23T23:25:10Z")
This little anecdote (from one of those “I can’t believe I said that” threads a few months back) produced pretty much the same reaction in me as in Mom." “My mother, after comparing cell phone with her cat-sitter’s: “Allan pulled out his thing and showed it to me today—it’s so cute and little, and it unfolded and made noises!” Two-second pause till she realizes what she’s said, and falls off the sofa.” ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/39 "2004-04-23T23:46:38Z")
My all-time favorite story from our recent Green-Wood Cemetery tour: **Cemetery Tourguide:** \*(Pointing to a gravesite) \* Now all of you have heard of the firm Dun & Bradstreet, right? Well, that man there is Mr. Bradstreet. **Eve:** And now he’s done. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512/40 "2004-04-24T01:29:26Z")
Another treasure from the WWJoanCrawfordD file, in [this thread about poor fashion choices](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=242257&page=2&pp=50&highlight=Queen+Tonya). > [@](#): > > "A mirror doesn’t usually get any message across because it’s like a piture that’s been hanging on the wall for as long as you can remember. You really don’t see it anymore. . . . have your best friend (or your most critical acquainstance) take some candid snapshots of you from all angles, dressed just as you usually appear . . . The same hairdo, the same makeup, and of possible, the same expression on your face. Be honest! Be sure to have her take rear views, too. > > “An 8 x 10 will show you the works–and you probably won’t be very happy with it. Sit down and take a long look at that strange woman. The shock of taking a photographic inventory may send the average woman to bed for a week. But it could be the best thing that ever happened to her.” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wisdom-of-eve/241512.md?page=3)