# The wit and wisdom of Grampa Simpson **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 28, 2002, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178 "2002-05-28T13:43:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/61 "2002-05-30T12:16:31Z")
Back then Turkeys were known as walking birds ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/62 "2002-05-30T13:32:00Z")
(Cut to Homer and Grandpa in a car on a long ride, Grandpa clearly in middle of long rant…) Grandpa: “…That’s whats wrong with your generation, now as for Bart’s generation…” ---
**Author:** ![Stupendous\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Stupendous\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stupendous_man)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/63 "2002-05-30T14:07:28Z")
Cripes, I thought I was in a time loop there… ---
**Author:** ![Stupendous\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Stupendous\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stupendous_man)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/64 "2002-05-30T14:10:30Z")
Oops… forget it. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/65 "2002-05-31T00:15:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MaxTheVool \* > \*\* > (anyone recognize the context of this one?) > Oh, bitch bitch bitch \*\* Homer and Marge left Grampa to look after Maggie while they went to a spa. When they got back, all three kids had been “rescued” by Child Welfare. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/66 "2002-05-31T01:18:42Z")
The bubbles are burning my tongue! The bubbles are burning my tongue! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/67 "2002-05-31T11:19:42Z")
“On one of my frequent trips to the ground…” ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/68 "2002-05-31T14:57:31Z")
“We like Roy!” ---
**Author:** ![Ripple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@Ripple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ripple)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/69 "2002-06-02T03:00:11Z")
Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two nonconsecutive occasions. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/70 "2002-06-02T21:38:48Z")
Jasper: Are they talking about the bordello? Grandpa: No, the burlesque house. So just keep your mouth shut! ---
**Author:** ![Journeyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/779978/32.png) [@Journeyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Journeyman)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/71 "2002-06-02T21:54:41Z")
regarding social security: “I didn’t earn it. I don’t need it. But if they miss one payment I’ll raise hell!” Homer: Doh… I mean, do…n’t worry son, I forgot to get you a present. But I swear on my father’s grave- Grampa: Hey! ---
**Author:** ![Hosayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@Hosayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hosayf)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178/72 "2002-06-03T03:59:29Z")
When Homer’s mom reappears: “Can we have sex?” Hippy: “…And she was a demon in the sack.” Grampa: “Oh you heard about that huh?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-grampa-simpson/111178.md?page=3)