# The Wit and Wisdom of Mike Bagnall **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 9, 2000, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631 "2000-01-09T14:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631/1 "2000-01-09T14:36:00Z")
Over New Year’s weekend, life got a bit interesting over on the Great Debates forum, due to some interesting interactions with the [Left Behind Message Board](http://www.leftbehind.com/cgi-local/Ultimate.cgi) (LBMB). While the brief flare-up has died down, and the GD forum has gained a number of articulate voices from the LBMB as a result, it’s still worth mentioning that this wouldn’t have become the big deal it briefly was, without the help of the LBMB admin, Mike Bagnall. But to demonstrate that there are no hard feelings, I have collected every Mike Bagnall post I could find from the brief period of turbulence (plus a couple of other doodads attributable to him), and am posting them here under the title you see above, “The Wit and Wisdom of Mike Bagnall”. I have added occasional words of introduction, as well as giving sources for everything. Enjoy! LBMB posting rule 6, 12/28/99 (A handful of us had been intermittently posting on the LBMB, joining in their debates. The tendency of some threads to disappear inexplicably bothered some of our posters there, who put up posts questioning whether the LBMB admins were deleting threads that questioned local orthodoxy. The response, apparently, was this rule.) > [@](#): > > 1. Questioning the Authority of the administrators or posting insulting or derogatory comments about any administrator on the message board is strictly forbidden. Members who do so will be instantly banned without comment and their posts deleted. > > - Rom 13:3-5 - “For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. (NIV)” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631/2 "2000-01-09T14:51:00Z")
We had been discussing our interactions with the LBMBers on the “For David B…” thread on the GD forum. After SoulFrost, in response to the rule cited above, put up a post entitled “Then Ban Me” on the LBMB, he got banned. A poster here suggested we see who could get banned the fastest, and someone else forwarded a copy of the post to the LBMB admin. The first result: LBMB, 12/31/99, 10:40 am, “We’re Under Attack” > [@](#): > > Users; > > Be prepared for the worst. I’ve just been informed we’re under attack from idiots on another message board. I was forwarded the following message from a user of that board: > > [(quote)] > "I note that SoulFrost’s swan song thread has had its number reassigned to a thread about second chances. Since I love an ironic twist as much as the next guy, I’ll be happy to relinquish the screen name Tim Barnes (B-R-A-I-N/S-T-E-M – get it?) to any banned poster who’d like a second chance of their own. I find I don’t have much stomach for that crowd, except in a rubbernecking-fascination-with-a-car-wreck sort of way. > > If anyone would like to take me up on my offer, just put a high sign in this thread, and I will e-mail you the password. > > Alternatively, if the consensus is that the continued infiltration of the LBMB is just too dreary a prospect for serious consideration, may I suggest a game of “Who Can Get Themselves Banned the Fastest?” SoulFrost’s record of 29 minutes is commendable, but I gather that the title of his thread could have skewed the outcome in his favor. > Potential rules for the game: > > 1. All contestants declare themselves in or out of the race prior to commencing. > 2. Deliberate flouting of the LBMB’s rules of engagement is encouraged (and possibly required), but any post which dares (in so many words) the administration to apply the ban is a disqualifier. > 3. No posting links to \*\*\*\*\*graphic web sites. In fact, if a reasonable person could be expected to believe that posting a particular link here would result in a [Moderator Hat On][Moderator Hat OFF] message from David B, don’t post it there. > 3a. Posting the link to “Kissing Hank’s Ass” would be just too easy. Doesn’t count. Imaginativeness does. > > Subject to the consent of Satan/StanA/Brian, the prize for first place > could be that dollar he promised in his OP to this thread. > > So do we have a quorum to vote on the motion?" [end quote] > > SoulFrost was just the first and he warned me that I would be in trouble if “a popular poster were to be banned”. So I’m assuming that there will be a popular poster who will begin pushing the envelope of what is permitted here. BE WATCHFUL! I know we will be. > > ``` > Thanks; > > MBagnall > > ``` He then posted the following to the SDMB: SDMB, GD, “What is your problem” 12/31/99, 11:29am > [@](#): > > Greetings; > > I’ve just found out about an attempt by users of this message board to “infiltrate” the Left Behind Message Board which I administer. I would like to know what your problem is. > > Did you know we have twice the number of members you do? Perhaps I should send them here and have them register for accounts to preach to you. Would you like that? After which we did indeed get a sudden influx of Christian spammers. Next, on the “For David B…” thread: SDMB,GD, “For David B…” , 12-31-99, 11:50 am > [@](#): > > at least now we’re on to you. > > For people who claim to be smarter than everyone else - you sure don’t know how to avoid getting caught same thread, same day, 3:06pm > [@](#): > > By the way… David B - one of your moderators, was one of the INSTAGATORS of this conflict. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631/3 "2000-01-09T15:05:00Z")
Meanwhile, back on the LBMB: LBMB, “We’re Under Attack!”, 12/31/99, 3:09pm > [@](#): > > BTW - as a disclaimer, all of the accounts of Straight Dope users have been terminated - because of their attitude towards the people of this board. Besides, if they’re as “smart” as they think they are, they won’t want to post here. - This includes Stan A > > The post on SDMB is nothing but pure hate of Christians. They mock us, they call us stupid and weak. And then they say “well we were just asking questions”… This is complete BS. They came over here with the intent to make a big joke out of the users of our message board. They even posted fake stories trying to trap us into praising them. > > Mark my words, if they had done the same thing against a Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, or Budhist BBS, they would not be bragging about it on their forum. > > What the people involved in this (one of them a MODERATOR of that board) did was cowardly and rude. And I bet they never thought they would get caught. > > We’re still weeding out the old accounts of these posters, and we will soon have all of their accounts banned. They even went so far as to swap out passwords so that different people were posting under one name or a one person under a group of names. > > And they call US hippocrites. The ‘fake stories’ bit was totally false, as was the bit about swapping passwords. It had been briefly suggested, and ignored. But to continue (same thread, same day, 3:21pm): > [@](#): > > If you read that 600 post thread on their board carefully, it is not hard to pick out the disdain they had for us. Their agenda was to make a fool of us and then laugh about it on their board. > > I’ve encouraged people not to post on their board any longer… you should the replies of these people to me asking our members to leave… utter hatered. Comments like “go drink the kool aid”… such hatred As it turned out, he had indeed encouraged the LBMBers to stop posting here(SDMB, GD, “Left Behind Members Return Home Please”, 12-31-99, 3:05pm): > [@](#): > > To All Left Behind Members Reading This; > > Please return home to the LBMB. We’ve been in contact with Ed Zotti, the Admin here and he has agreed to make sure that which has been perpetrated against us is handled. Please cease posting messages here (unless you were here before today) and return to where you are wanted. > > I’m sorry for the intrusion here. As our only defense I will say that if we had conspired to target specific messgae boards and flood them with preaching, you would have done the exact same thing. > > I just wonder if the members of this board would ever conspire against a minority BBS, or perhaps a Jewish BBS. For some reason, these folks pick the Christians out. > > Just like Jesus said they would. > > I wonder how they fell knowing they helped prove the perfection of Jesus Christ. After a few mostly rather pointed but reasoned responses (plus one mordant crack about the kool-aid), he made another post to the same thread (3:22pm): > [@](#): > > such shining samples of maturity ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631/4 "2000-01-09T15:24:00Z")
Several days before, I’d started a thread about the _Atlantic Monthly_’s review of the “Left Behind” books in its January 2000 issue. Someone asked about where to find it, to which Bagnall replied (LBMB,12/31/99, 11:40am, “Atlantic Monthly’s “Left Behind” review”): > [@](#): > > That’s because it’s not there. It was a bogus report made to look you look stupid. Funny, on _my_ copy of the Jan. 2000 issue, it mentions the review, right on the cover. A bit later, back on the “We’re under attack” thread on the LBMB (12/31/99, 11:17pm - what a party animal!): > [@](#): > > People, now that it’s over, lets come together and put this behind us. It’s the 21st Century… let’s embrace it and do what we can for Jesus It’s still the 20th century, but you can’t expect him to know that, I suppose. Finally, back on the SDMB the next day (1/1/00, 7:42pm, “Enough Is Enough!”): > [@](#): > > People; > > Please do not go to this board for the purposes of retaliation. I’ve stopped visiting this board because of the horrible things that are being said about me personally (and you should read my E-mail). > > I’ve never in my life ever been sent the kind of hate filled messages that I’ve had to endure in the past 2 days. I’ve chosen simply not to visit their mesage board anymore because they obviously have no respect for anyone a in their lives would not attack with such ferocity one individual (me). And to think that I was the one trying to stop the war. > > This will be the last time I post on this subject. Anything that happens over there I wash my hands of. Just remember, we’ve been spared retaliation because we’ve had new member accounts turned off because of this - and when we turn them back on (and we will at some point), we will risk retaliation. Are you prepared to deal with this? > > If not, then I suggest everyone knock it off. For the sake of our message board and your administrators sanity. > > Thank you. He did, however, tone down the LBMB posting rules (1/3/00): > [@](#): > > Rules: > > 1. Vulgar language (cuss words or lewd expressions) WILL NOT be tolerated in this discussion group. Such posts will be deleted. Included in this is name calling and insulting posts. Let’s all try to remember to honor the Name of our Lord in our posts! > > 2. These forums to discuss the Left Behind Book Series, Biblical Theology and other concerns within a Christian framework, with caring and respectful standards of discussion in accordance to God’s Word in Phil 2:3 “Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” All faiths and denominations are welcome. > > 3. This message board is a Christian message board. We encourage people from all different faiths to engage in the conversations. However, this should not be misconstrued into a license to deliberately promote patently false or non-biblical doctrines, to degrade God, our participants, or defacing the name of Jesus Christ. Individuals that attempt to promote such doctrine will be banned from any further posting on our board. > > 4. While we encourage discussion on all topics, there are several topics that are, because of their nature, not allowed on this message board. These include discussions relating to sexual conduct. This is done for the benefit of the parents of minor children who may be members of the board. A good rule of thumb is that if you don’t wantr a 12 year old or younger to read it, then don’t post it. > > 5. This is a moderated forum run by volunteer administrators. By your entry, you agree to abide by all these rules and notices and accept the moderators’ right to delete any such deemed content, including the banning further posting of offending individuals, at their sole discretion at any time, without further discussion. > > 6. If you have a problem with the decisions of an administrator, feel free to E-mail us. But under no circumstances are disagreements with administration to become the topic of discussion on the message board. If you have a question and want it answered, then E-mail it to us - but do not post it to the message boar. Not only will you make it easier for us to address your concerns, but it does not needlessly clutter the message board with off-topic posts. Still pretty extreme by our standards, but an improvement over earlier versions of the rules. Don’t ask me why I bothered with this. Part of it is the short-lived nature of any thread on the LBMB, so it seemed worthwhile to record his words on the LBMB over here as well. And while I was at it, I figured I might as well get all his remarks in one place. So consider this an archive of sorts. ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631/5 "2000-01-09T16:07:00Z")
Wow! You put some serious time into that… -David ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631/6 "2000-01-09T20:53:00Z")
Well, way before any of this ever happened, Bagnall closed the one thread I started (which WAS within their rules) and bragged about it in a thread, where he said I was the same person as another poster based upon my IP. I e-mailed him and asked him how he could make that assertion, since I was on a dial-up ISP, and he then changed his tune to “you were both on Prodigy.” All I could say was, “Oh… Me and how many millions of people?” He didn’t reply. The only reply he gave since was when I cc’d him on an e-mail exchange with kat2, who invited us there to begin with. His reply, after we had a spirited exchange (but not Spam or hatered, even though kat2 posted that on LBMB - I mean, she replied to me three times) was “No not e-mail me anymore.” You don’t even men tion the supposed “death threats,” that have yet to have been put forth to my knowledge. Bottom line: Man is an over-zealous jerk who abuses his authority, cannot appologize (let alone, recognize) when he makes a mistake, and he is willing to lie if it will help further his agenda. Makes me absolutely LOVE Nick in comparison! 🙂 * * * Yer pal, Satan _ **First Place** Most Popular Poster of the 20th Century Competition As overseen by Coldfire_ ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631/7 "2000-01-09T21:08:00Z")
SoulFrost - no biggie. It took maybe 45 minutes to track everything down and put it in a Notepad file, and maybe another hour putting it into posts, especially getting rid of all the extra line breaks you get when you C&P. (Anybody know a way around that, btw?) Satan - you’re right, I should have mentioned the alleged death threats. I’ll bet TubaDiva has never gotten anything from him to back up his accusation. Given the number of times he exaggerated the intensity of the attacks on him, and the way he repeatedly angled for pity, it would be a natural for him to combine the two by alleging a death threat. And I’d say I can’t believe he’d not only shut down your thread, but brag about it on his board, except that, with him, it’s all too in character. What’s unbelievable is that they, meaning whoever he reports to at LB, let him be an admin. P.S. Where’s the thread where they voted on the most popular posters? I missed my chance to vote when it was happening - bummer! ---
**Author:** ![Navigator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@Navigator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Navigator)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631/8 "2000-01-10T17:13:00Z")
{dryly} Well at least this thread is posted in the correct forum. 😉 * * * † Jon † Phillipians 4:13 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-mike-bagnall/12631/9 "2000-01-10T17:29:00Z")
Nav - thanks. 🙂 I had intended to gather Bagnall’s posts while the issue was still live; in that case, I might have posted in GD. I hesitated because of the death-threat allegation; it seemed unreasonable to dump on a guy who was being harassed in that manner, even by using his own words. By the time it was clear that I had no reason to believe in the existence of such a threat, the spammers had left, you and the others who have stayed have proved to be congenial company, and a recap of Bagnall’s remarks definitely qualified as mundane and pointless. But since I’d already done the work of collecting all his posts early last week, I felt the need to post it somewhere. Besides, I thought the evidence of his persecution complex ought to be on record someplace. So here we are. 😉