# The world supply of coffee beans mysteriously disappears tomorrow. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 23, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749 "2005-07-23T02:05:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/61 "2005-07-25T19:50:28Z")
What would I do? Bitch and moan for a few minutes and then switch to tea. I already drink green tea anyway. ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/62 "2005-07-25T22:22:52Z")
Coworkers would fear me. I need my morning pick-me-up to become human. Tea and coke just aren’t the same as coffee. Like others said, half of it is the flavor. The only tea I’ve found that’s close enough is pu-erh tea, but _that_ requires rolling-boil-bubble-and-toil water according to all the instructions I’ve read. Which is not exactly obtainable here at work, unless you’re on good terms with the cafeteria workers. ☹ Either that, or dump a metric buttload of Irish breakfast tea into the mug and leave it until it dissolves the spoon. (I’m a coffee freak, but I also have a stash of various herbal, black, and green tea here at work) ---
**Author:** ![serious\_lark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@serious\_lark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/serious_lark)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/63 "2005-07-25T22:44:14Z")
I’d be OK until my first major headache, at which point I would have to retreat into a dark room and whimper for somebody to put me out of my misery. Maybe **trupa** would go searching for Wake Ups or other pills to help, rather than listen to me whine. I prefer tea as a rule, but when that migraine hits - I need tylenol and coffee (and no, hot chocolate or other food sources of caffeine will not do). ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/64 "2005-07-25T22:51:10Z")
Now that I’ve thought about it, I would be fine without coffee, but if the world’s **lip balm products** suddenly vanished, I would be in a world of hurt. We are talking about pain and misery. ---
**Author:** ![gfloyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/65 "2005-07-26T06:55:02Z")
I would be fine. I don’t like drinking coffee. I’d like a last bowl of coffee oreo ice cream, but other than that, meh. However, I wouldn’t ever return to my parents withing three hours of my mother waking up. She’s enough of a dragon once she’s had her coffee, without it, well, I’d rather not think about that. I would go point and laugh at my old lab mates, who live on it. Well, coffee and oyster crackers, but that’s another story entirely. So really, I probably won’t notice. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/66 "2005-07-26T11:31:59Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#): > > All of my favorite restaurants bring a selection of teabags when you order tea and let you choose what you want. Sorry bub, but 9 out of 10 restaurants in the U.S. where I’ve ordered a cup of tea (unless it’s British, or a teahouse) has brought me a tiny metal pot af lukewarm water accompanied by a bag of Lipton or some no-name brand of tea. The remaining one in 10 bring that little box of teas, which usually means a choice of Bigelow’s peppermint, orange spice, or chamomile tea. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/67 "2005-07-26T14:29:00Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Ivylad, on the other hand, would require massive doses of tranquilizers to get him over the shock. As would I. Take the tea, by all means. Hell, take the colas as well. But do not touch my coffee – there’s too much blood in my coffeestream as it is. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/68 "2005-07-26T15:38:47Z")
I was going to say meh about the whole deal. I don’t really drink coffee. I lurve my tea, but not in a snobbish way–coffee just gives me a tummy ache that tea does not. So really, I didn’t think I would be affected all that much. Then I remembered you need coffee to make Kahlua. And I need Kahlua to make White Russians. And I need White Russians. Hmmm. Maybe I need to think this through… ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/69 "2005-07-26T21:12:45Z")
Yay, no more stomach turning Hazelnut coffee smell! To be honest with you, I could wake up tomorrow to a world devoid of coffee, tea, cola and beer and shed not a single tear. I’d probably take the week off from work, though, and wait for the killing in the streets to conclude. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/70 "2005-07-26T21:54:27Z")
Personally, not so much. Dark liquids and caffeine are big no-nos for me. But once my boss starts to get the shakes, I’m going to have to knock him out. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/71 "2005-07-26T22:44:48Z")
I believe this has already been said by **Rico** back in post five, but it bears repeating and perhaps further reflection. If coffee were suddenly to disappear my response would be… Aaaaahhhhhhhhhrrrrrgghhhhh! Sweet mother of Og, Noooooo! …or words to that effect. Thank you for your consideration in this matter. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/72 "2005-07-27T20:21:20Z")
> [@Barbarian](#): > > Sorry bub, but 9 out of 10 restaurants in the U.S. where I’ve ordered a cup of tea (unless it’s British, or a teahouse) has brought me a tiny metal pot af lukewarm water accompanied by a bag of Lipton or some no-name brand of tea. “Sorry bub”? Why are you sorry? As I said, all of _my_ favorite restaurants offer a nice selection of teabags when I order tea. If 9 out of 10 of the restaurants you go to don’t, then you might want to either (a) try different restaurants or (b) train them. Sometimes it takes a few pleasant requests from a good customer before they figure things out. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/73 "2005-07-29T22:27:23Z")
I’m sorry because you seem to think that because you’ve trained your favorite restos into serving an acceptable cuppa tea, you think your experience applies to the majority of restaurants in the U.S. ---
**Author:** ![Shana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Shana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shana)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/74 "2005-07-30T02:40:00Z")
Hm let’s see…Besides running out into the street screaming, “Dear God WHY???” whilst pulling at my hair in a psychotic fit of rage and ineffable despair?? Uh, I suppose not being too “bloody stupid” I’d eventually find my way to the Earl Grey canister 😉 …but please, coffee is NOT tea. I doubt I’d utter a coherent sentence before 2:00 PM. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/75 "2005-07-30T04:41:55Z")
> [@Barbarian](#): > > I’m sorry because you seem to think that because you’ve trained your favorite restos into serving an acceptable cuppa tea, you think your experience applies to the majority of restaurants in the U.S. Did I ever state that my experience applied to any restaurants anywhere else in the country? I’m sorry you visit restaurants that don’t serve a good cup of tea. Personally, my experience (which may not apply to any other restaurant anywhere, and obviously doesn’t apply to your hometown) is that most mid-scale to high-end restaurants have a decent tea selection. I’ve had to train one. It’s not that big a deal. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/76 "2005-07-30T11:14:00Z")
Hey, _you_ were the one who said I was making a snobby generalization that just wasn’t true. I’ve tried to order tea at restaurants of all price ranges here in New York, in Seattle and in South Carolina. I don’t order any more. That ain’t being snobby, that’s just recognizing that ordering tea in the U.S. is like walking into a BBQ joint and ordering tofu. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749/77 "2005-07-30T13:21:42Z")
If there is a sudden shortage of coffee beans, I am buying stock in laxatives. If you know what I mean, and I think you do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-world-supply-of-coffee-beans-mysteriously-disappears-tomorrow/313749.md?page=3)