# The world's most useless machine **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2014, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098 "2014-07-14T20:17:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![runningdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@runningdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runningdude)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/1 "2014-07-14T20:17:41Z")
This video, the world’s most useless machine, gave me a good and much needed chuckle: [Dueling Useless Machines!!! (AKA Political Machines) - YouTube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkgoSOSGrx4) ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/2 "2014-07-14T21:21:28Z")
Cute… It makes me think of something I saw once, where a closed circuit tv camera is aimed at the monitor that displays what the camera sees. You get an “infinite hall of mirrors” effect. If you tilt the camera bit, the picture spirals out. Cool op-art. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/3 "2014-07-14T21:25:09Z")
'Guess that beats the [previous contender.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE1S06VGTzg) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/4 "2014-07-14T21:49:28Z")
I’m still awfully fond of this one: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/5fXN7x7a5So/hqdefault.jpg "Unplugger") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fXN7x7a5So) ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/5 "2014-07-14T22:30:05Z")
Wow. No one’s ever seen one of those before? They were around when I was a kid in the early 60s. The only difference was that they were plastic instead of wood. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/6 "2014-07-14T23:25:28Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Wow. No one’s ever seen one of those before? They were around when I was a kid in the early 60s. The only difference was that they were plastic instead of wood. Youtube was lower resolution back then. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/7 "2014-07-14T23:33:52Z")
In proportion to how many of them there are, filtering for those that were designed to do nothing, I’d say the electric can opener. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/8 "2014-07-15T00:32:21Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Wow. No one’s ever seen one of those before? They were around when I was a kid in the early 60s. The only difference was that they were plastic instead of wood. I never saw this variety, which does nothing more than shut itself off. The sixties versions were mostly the coin-grabber ones, where the hand came out and yanked in the dime you put in the slot. Often marketed with an “Addams Family” tie-in. (ETA: used to good effect in an episode of The Prisoner.) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/9 "2014-07-15T00:55:05Z")
I still think a hand grenade wins. When one of those turns itself off, you can’t reset it. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/10 "2014-07-15T01:27:11Z")
But a hand grenade has a valid use. Mr. T. throws it, and the bad guys all jump, and the explosion goes off behind them, and they all act groggy and surrender to B.A. (Okay, right. Sorry. It’s been a long time, okay? I’ll leave it here for others to laugh at.) ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/11 "2014-07-15T01:39:39Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > In proportion to how many of them there are, filtering for those that were designed to do nothing, I’d say the electric can opener. Ask someone with arthritis if an electric can opener does nothing. My ex MIL would starve without one. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/12 "2014-07-15T01:44:18Z")
[quote=“Mangetout, post:4, topic:693098”] I’m still awfully fond of this one: [/QUOTE] 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/13 "2014-07-15T04:01:35Z")
> [@runningdude](#): > > This video, the world’s most useless machine, gave me a good and much needed chuckle: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkgoSOSGrx4](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkgoSOSGrx4) useless ? This one is astable, its a clock. If its mono-stable, its a reset circuit If its bi-stable, its a memory cell - in discrete circuits it was called a a flip flop. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/14 "2014-07-15T04:10:25Z")
[quote=“Mangetout, post:4, topic:693098”] I’m still awfully fond of this one: [/QUOTE] Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there! I’ve watched this 6 times now and I’m just sitting in my chair laughing hysterically! My cats are concerned. If the windows were open the neighbors would be too. Thank you for linking this! ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/15 "2014-07-15T04:19:11Z")
All of those are eclipsed by car alarms. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/16 "2014-07-15T07:10:13Z")
> [@Lukeinva](#): > > 😛 The artist who made this seems to specialise in futile devices - one of his other works is a tricycle that can only go in circles on the spot. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/17 "2014-07-15T08:08:33Z")
[This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2PJdmG2ICA) isn’t as useless as the others, but I think it deserves credit for being so bad at what it was designed to do. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/18 "2014-07-15T19:35:15Z")
I vote for the Segway. ---
**Author:** ![runningdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@runningdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runningdude)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/19 "2014-07-16T05:11:53Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2PJdmG2ICA) isn’t as useless as the others, but I think it deserves credit for being so bad at what it was designed to do. That one has spunk! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098/20 "2014-07-16T17:29:42Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I vote for the Segway. The Segway has some utility in certain situations I guess, but it certainly wins on the basis of the hype vs. utility ratio. “Dean Kamen predicted that the Segway ‘will be to the car what the car was to the horse and buggy’” Snerk. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worlds-most-useless-machine/693098.md?page=2)