# The Worst Advertising Slogan Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 11, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077 "2003-04-11T18:09:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/81 "2003-04-14T16:40:36Z")
Years ago I saw a bottle in a drug store, which was the color of a 7-up bottle and the liquid in it was clear. It was: **Citrona** _The Sparkling Laxative._ ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/82 "2003-04-15T06:04:30Z")
Last week I saw a flyer posted on a news box in Berkeley that read: I lost 40 lbs. in 2 weeks! Samples available. ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/83 "2003-04-16T11:17:43Z")
I remember Corn Nuts had an ad blitz some years back with “Bust A Nut” as the new slogan. There were radio spots that played up the masturbation angle to the hilt. There was a song that went something like “bust a nut at school, just don’t get caught”. This one came and went rather fast, but to this day Corn Nuts remind me of someone jerking off in a toilet stall. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/84 "2003-04-16T12:20:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, maybe Nova ain’t that bad but… > Mazda Laputa. My God, is this for real? Not a hack? **Laputa** was the name of the “Floating Island” in Jonathan Swift’s satire **Gulliver’s Travels**. He even gives a hack etymology for the name. But it’s evident to anyone who knows Spanish that “La Puta” = “The Whore”. _This_ is a name to give a car in a Spanish-speaking country??? (sings to tune of “Hakuna Matata”) Maz-a-da Laputa What a wonderful phrase! Maz-a-da Laputa Ain’t no passing craze! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/85 "2003-04-16T12:52:13Z")
As a Bush supporter, I am offended that nobody mentioned his campaign slogan of his top ten priorities. Don’t remember the first, but number 2 was: > [@](#): > > #2 - Putting education first. There is also a radiator repair shop in my town that advertises itself as “A Good Place to Take A Leak”. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/86 "2003-04-16T13:00:14Z")
I just saw (late last night) a commercial for a local church: “We may not be the best church, but we’re the best for you.” Gee, I’m not good enough for some other church, I’ll go to this one… ? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/87 "2003-04-16T15:38:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lost4life \* > \*\*Mangled Baby Ducks? SNL reference \*\* “Ten Thousand Nuns and Orphans? What’s so bad about that?” They were all eaten by rats." Some local concrete place has this slogan on the side of its trucks: “Your hole is our goal.” ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/88 "2003-04-16T15:48:18Z")
The Ford Aspire. What? It has aspirations of becoming a car? Some of San Francisco Muni’s more recently built or rehabbed buses have GPS-based “talkers” that do the obvious task of announcing the route and destination when the door opens and displaying the upcoming stop on a sign inside the bus. The system also plays out helpful nuggets of information like “watch out for pickpockets” and “Thank you for riding Muni. Please leave by the rear doors.” More often than not, the bus that takes me to work in the mornings has trouble uttering complete sentences. Instead of saying “54 Felton to Daly City BART” it says “54 Felto-” The internal messages get munched as well. “Thank you for riding Muni. Please leave-” So Muni’s slogan now is “Please leave” ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/89 "2003-04-16T16:10:25Z")
A fish restauraunt close by has the slogan, **Forget the meatloaf Mama, I’m comin’ home with crabs!** ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/90 "2003-04-16T17:00:28Z")
I know I’ve brought it up before, but since CNN & FoxNews’ ill-conceived slogans have been mentioned, here’s my favourite local news slogan from BCTV: **If it matters in your world, it’s news to us.** ---
**Author:** ![Myque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Myque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myque)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/91 "2003-04-16T17:05:02Z")
I remember when i used to live in boston seeing a sign at an automotive supply store that said “we do rim jobs” ---
**Author:** ![Spoonbender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spoonbender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoonbender)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/92 "2003-04-16T19:45:54Z")
**An Army Of One** I seem to remember seeing a satire of that somewhere, saying something like, “Army launches ‘Army of One’ ad campaign; seeks to attract troubled loners…” ---
**Author:** ![jeff2003](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jeff2003](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeff2003)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/93 "2003-04-16T21:04:13Z")
Im sure you have heard the slogan from the Pork industry, “The other white meat”, which is not all that bad, but this slogan is… [http://www.llubder.com/images/objects/pork.jpg](http://www.llubder.com/images/objects/pork.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![jeff2003](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jeff2003](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeff2003)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/94 "2003-04-16T22:07:53Z")
Sign in front of a radiator shop… “Good place to take a leak” ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/95 "2003-04-17T01:39:38Z")
For years, U-Haul trucks and trailers said “Adventure in Moving.” Let me tell you, if I’ve got all my worldly stuff in a truck, and I’m schlepping it cross-country, the _last_ thing I want is an “adventure.” It was a particularly wonderful slogan when you’d see a U-Haul truck on the shoulder, steam pouring out from under the hood. ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/96 "2003-04-17T07:20:00Z")
**Siemens**. The company. I don’t know what their slogan is, but man, what a bad name to choose. In Ventura, CA, there’s a business (I think they do something with oil) called **BJ Services**. I shit you not. Check it out if you want: from 101, get on the 33 toward Ojai, take the first exit, turn right at the stop, left at the light, then about 1/2 mile~mile down the road, it’s on the left, where a road Ts in on the right. They’ve got a flag which we all want to _ahem_ “acquire.” ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/97 "2003-04-17T07:24:17Z")
I meant to include this one in my previous post, but got a little over-zealous with the clicking… A few years back I saw a truck for Allied, “The Careful Movers.” Fairly commonplace, no? The thing making this one memorable was the fact that it was laying on its side 20’ off the freeway. I’d hate to see what happens when they’re _not_ being careful! ---
**Author:** ![CurlyD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@CurlyD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurlyD)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/98 "2003-04-17T16:47:02Z")
I have also seen the radiator shop slogan, this one for Starke (Florida) Radiator Service - “Best place in town to take a leak!” A sign outside an antique shop in southern Georgia said, “Dead people’s stuff for sale.” I like the sign on the door at Schlotzsky’s Deli - “No shirtzskys, no shoezskys, no Schlotzsky’s.” The University of South Carolina’s mascot is the Gamecock, and SC has a bunch of sports fans who live for the college football season. I’ve seen bumper stickers that said, “No one can lick our Cocks!” ---
**Author:** ![summerbreeze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@summerbreeze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/summerbreeze)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/99 "2003-04-23T01:51:19Z")
Beauty salon ran this ad _once_ in the local paper: “The beauty business is great! You never run out of ugly people.” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/100 "2003-04-23T06:11:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spoonbender \* > \*\ ***An Army Of One** > > I seem to remember seeing a satire of that somewhere, saying something like, “Army launches ‘Army of One’ ad campaign; seeks to attract troubled loners…” \*\* The place you saw this was almost certainly _ **The Onion** _. I remember seeing it there myself. Damned if I can find it, or remember the exact wording, but it was something along the lines of “‘Army of One’ campaign launched; Army gives up pretense of recruiting well-adjusted folks, seeks same belligerent loners that always volunteer.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077.md?page=6)