# The Worst Advertising Slogan Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 11, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077 "2003-04-11T18:09:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/101 "2003-04-23T06:18:06Z")
Several years ago, a few nutcases in Texas decided that Texas had never really joined the United States, that Texas was really still a sovereign nation all this time, that their fellow Texans had been duped into believing that Texas was part of the U.S. when in fact it was a country in its own right that owed allegiance to no one, and that by golly, they were going to set things right! They called themselves **“The Republic of Texas”** , conflating the fact that the State of Texas still sometimes refers to itself as a “Republic” with their own hair-brained theories of national independence. And, since no “real” civil authority existed in this hypothetically independent Texas nation that existed in their heads, _they_ would conveniently step in and be the leaders of the sovereign and independent Republic of Texas until the next “real” election for the “nation’s” rulers. The whole brouhaha ended with a shootout with Federal authorities. Unfortunately, right at about that same time, the Texas tourism board had launched an advertising campaign with the slogan of: **Texas: It’s Like a Whole Other Country** ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/102 "2003-04-23T12:08:12Z")
Comedian Dana Gould remarked about how ad slogans like “soup is good food” were just a bunch of ad guys who were tired and want to go home. He added a few of his own. ::warning…explatives:: Cheese, you fucks!! and Milk. Enjoy it! Or, try sucking my ass! ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/103 "2003-04-23T13:17:07Z")
Tool companies pick odd names. First up is [Ridgid](http://www.ridgid.com/indexnew.asp?Flash=No). It’s misspelled, but the image is obvious: Rigid tools. Hey, y’all, we sell rigid hand tools! :: Let it sink in. :: Next is one that should never have seen the light of day, _especially_ when applied to the tool industry. [Onan](http://www.onan.com) makes engines, but that’s not the half of it. That’s not even the _good_ part. Because who owns the Onan name? [Cummins](http://www.cummins.com/). Cummins, whose slogan, from looking at their site, is `Unleash the Power of Cummins’ (in Your Pants). Onan, owned by Cummins. Onan was Cummins in the wrong place, that’s for sure. It’s karmic, I tell you. Are these people joking, or have I discovered the biggest Freudian slip since the Saturn V rocket? ---
**Author:** ![Lapin\_de\_poussiere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a4c791/32.png) [@Lapin\_de\_poussiere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lapin_de_poussiere)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/104 "2003-04-23T13:58:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Im sure you have heard the slogan from the Pork industry, “The other white meat” […] I was at Wally-World a couple of weeks ago and saw someone wearing a t-shirt that said, “RNA: The _other_ nucleic acid.” My mom claims that Iowa’s Department of Tourism slogan was supposed to be “Iowa: We Make You Laugh” (IIRC, now it’s been reduced to a sarcastic smirk: “Iowa: We Make You Smile” is on the signs at the MN/IA border on I-35 just between Mason City and Albert Lea). And finally, the ad slogan I believe to be one of the worst ever, the 7-Up “Make 7-Up Yours” campaign… bleah. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Marko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@El\_Marko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Marko)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/105 "2003-04-23T15:13:52Z")
A friend told me that there was an ad campaign in Canada for pork: “Put more pork on your fork.” ---
**Author:** ![jeff2003](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jeff2003](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeff2003)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/106 "2003-04-23T15:15:15Z")
There is a chimney sweep company off Rt. 83 in Buffalo Grove, IL (i think) called “Ash Wipe”. With a name like that who needs an ad slogan. ---
**Author:** ![Lenny\_Carl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9dc877/32.png) [@Lenny\_Carl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lenny_Carl)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/107 "2003-04-24T16:53:21Z")
Slight hijack here, but speaking of **Siemens** … A few months ago, the New York Knicks held a ceremony to retire Patrick Ewings jersey. I forget which cable network was airing this (I think TNT), but before the ceremony started, the announcer said that the Patrick Ewing ceremony was sponsored by **Hummer** and **Siemens**!!! What made this even more funny was that a few years ago, Patrick Ewing (as well as other NBA players) got in trouble for receiving ORAL SEX in a strip club!!! ---
**Author:** ![jeff2003](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jeff2003](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeff2003)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/108 "2003-04-24T22:27:56Z")
The Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American ad campaign, “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux”. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/109 "2003-04-24T22:45:33Z")
I saw a business card from a small Hollywood production company that was bragging about all the work they had done on television sitcom pilots: “We’ve had our hands in more pilots than an Air Force proctologist.” ---
**Author:** ![PatrickM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@PatrickM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickM)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/110 "2003-04-24T22:54:49Z")
The Chicago Cubs: Now in our 95th rebuilding year! (Just a little baseball humor.) But seriously, my alma mater used this as a slogan some time ago: A Year at Kent State can last a lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![Erik\_the\_Viking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Erik\_the\_Viking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erik_the_Viking)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/111 "2003-04-24T23:28:45Z")
The public transportation system in Atlanta is known as MARTA. Their slogan: “MARTA: It’s Smarta!” ---
**Author:** ![rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/112 "2003-04-25T03:41:51Z")
I was once told that one of Richard Nixon’s election slogans was “You can’t lick our Dick” ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/113 "2003-04-25T03:43:55Z")
Ad writer here. We’re working on an ad campaign for a company that’s sponsoring one of the soccer tournaments in the region. As a joke, one of the ideas we wrote down was: **If you want to hold the Cup, you need great supporters.** We were smart enough not to actually present it to the client, as there’s more than a good chance theyd take it seriously. Another company name I saw last night as I was going home was a motorcycle courier service that wanted to emphasize how fast they were. They combined “rapid” with “speed” and got **Rapeed** I knew what they meant, but god, it just looks so wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Sapphire\_Bullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@Sapphire\_Bullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapphire_Bullet)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/114 "2003-04-25T07:58:06Z")
For the smaller dustbuster version of the Dirt Devil: “Put the power of an upright in the palm of your hand.” Not obviously explicit, but it always gave me pause. ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/115 "2003-04-25T12:54:55Z")
**An army of one** Right, a whole army made up of one soldier! Yeah we believe the military is individualistic. ---
**Author:** ![jeff2003](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jeff2003](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeff2003)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/116 "2003-04-25T15:01:13Z")
When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what’s inside, since many people can’tread. ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/117 "2003-04-25T15:50:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CurlyD \*I like the sign on the door at Schlotzsky’s Deli - “No shirtzskys, no shoezskys, no Schlotzsky’s.” I look at the notices and think, “We don’t wear shirts, we don’t wear shoes, and we don’t serve you.” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/118 "2003-04-26T01:34:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jeff2003 \* > \*\*When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what’s inside, since many people can’tread. \*\* **False.** [http://www.snopes.com/business/market/babyfood.htm](http://www.snopes.com/business/market/babyfood.htm) ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/119 "2003-05-06T19:59:24Z")
**Winners don’t use drugs.** Jeffrey Dahmer didn’t use drugs! ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077/120 "2003-05-06T20:58:22Z")
In a Winair tourist brochure, they show a photo of Plymouth town, Montserrat, which has been buried by a pyroclastic flow, involving around 23 deaths. All that can now be seen of the buried town is a few rooftops. Below that, there’s an as for a contrustion company that says “At Henderson’s, we’re more than just roofing!” I saw on TV today an ad for those oddly squishy mattresses. It said “The only mattress recognized by NASA!” Riiight. As if NASA employees, upon seeing an ordinary mattress, say “What the heck is this strange thing?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-advertising-slogan-ever/168077.md?page=7)