# The worst and the best of bad commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 2, 2004, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757 "2004-09-02T12:49:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/21 "2004-09-03T11:44:45Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > The Starbucks commercial they show on ESPN all the time. The one with the band Survivor following Glenn around, singing “Glen! Glen, Glen, Glen!” to the tune of Eye of the Tiger. Used to get on my nerves something fierce. Now I laugh every time I see it. I like that one. It makes me laugh, too. I like the end when Glen gets off the elevator and the other guy gets on so they just switch to his name. Is it Jim? “Jim! Jim, Jim, Jim!” 😃 > [@](#): > > Podkayne said: > My favorite bad current commercial is that one for the telephone veterinary medicine company. I can’t remember the name of it (how’s that for effective advertising). The woman is complaining that to get her pet’s medications, she has to put the dog in the car, drrrriiiiive to the vet’s office, then SIT and WAIT. Yeah, that one’s pretty bad. Besides, you have to go to the vet’s anyway to get the prescription in the first place. And we all how much (most) dogs just _hate_ to go for car rides. Especially Golden Retreivers like the one in the ad. They just hate sitting there, hanging their head out the window, ya know? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/22 "2004-09-03T12:20:42Z")
I like the one where this guy gets into the hottub with two women and one of them asks, “What do you do?” And he goes, “I sell paper products.” Then she gets this interested look and says, “Oooo, thats soooo sexy!!!” The he looks like he is getting a cramp and the announcer chimes in with, “Where will you be when your diarreah starts up?” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/23 "2004-09-03T12:34:32Z")
While any commercial for a prescription drug fits in here, the one with that little creature who props up the toenail makes me want to scrub my feet, my eyes and my brain. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/24 "2004-09-03T13:22:04Z")
“Digger the dermatophite”. Yeah, that’s the one I saw just before starting this thread. Speaking of drug ads, there’s one that’s morbidly amusing. I think it’s for psoriasis. (What’s the difference between psoriasis and exema, anyway?) “Potentially serious side effects, **possibly fatal** may result.” “Well, he’s dead. But _he sure has nice skin!_” [sub]My friend did a couple of take-offs on drug commercials in his film _Night for Nixie_. “Clearatin” (contains hydrochloro **cabal** anol 😛 )is brought to you by your friends at Monsan… erm, “Sanmento”. [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/25 "2004-09-03T13:57:08Z")
I’ll chime in for radio ads. There used to be a series of ads in the Raleigh/Durham area for Chris Leith Chevrolet and their No Hassle prices. Chris Leith sounded creepy, like a playground stalker. “At Chris Leith Chevrolet, we won’t hassle ya. You pay the lowest…price…period. No Hassles, No Pressure. At Chris Leith Chevrolet, we understand.” I have to go to the bathroom. Want to come with me? Then he got all full of himself, and started putting out really smarmy commercials, including one of him singing along with an acoustic guitar: _No Hassles and you know it clap your hands thump thump No Hassles and you know it clap your hands thump thump_ and he’d sing it really slooooooow like a dirge. There’d be a noticeable pregnant pause before the thump thumps. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/26 "2004-09-03T15:26:18Z")
Anyone from the L.A. area will certainly have suffered through this one: _“We’ll beat anyone’s advertised price or your mattress is FREEEEE!!!”_ Oh, the horror. And I wonder…how many free mattresses has Sit & Sleep delivered in its history? Think about it, someone comes in with an ad that’s $10 cheaper, and the salesperson says, “Oh my, I can’t knock ten bucks off this bed. So here, you might as well just take it.” Yeah, riiight. That doesn’t stop their obnoxious slogan, however. And their toll-free number is 1-800-FREEEEE. Ugh. On the other hand, I liked Crazy Gideon’s commercials. Haven’t seen them in a long time, though. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/27 "2004-09-03T15:41:24Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I like that one. It makes me laugh, too. I like the end when Glen gets off the elevator and the other guy gets on so they just switch to his name. Is it Jim? “Jim! Jim, Jim, Jim!” 😃 It’s the look on the lead singer’s face. He just looks so genuinely pleased to see the guy. And that purple silk shirt over what is obviously now a beer gut, half tucked into those _nasty_ yellow spandex pants. 😛 I always miss a few minutes of sports center because I’m laughing so hard. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/28 "2004-09-03T17:20:26Z")
The Starbucks ad with Survivor is my absolute favorite current commercial. “ROY! RoyroyROY! RoyroyROY!” I don’t want any part of the nasty drink they’re pimping with it, but the commercial is pure gold. I’m in Houston, so I know all the ones \*\*edwino \*\* was talking about. Ick. One I hate is for Office Depot (I think), where the jingle goes something like, “If you want it, if you need it, Just ask for it, and we’ll get it.” Thank you, annoying jingle, for explaining the concept of retail to me, for I have just arrived here from Jupiter and I need some office supplies. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/29 "2004-09-03T18:07:29Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Anyone from the L.A. area will certainly have suffered through this one: _“We’ll beat anyone’s advertised price or your mattress is FREEEEE!!!”_ Oh, the horror. AAAAUUUGGHH! I almost forgot about those! Thanks a lot, **KGS**! 😃 My new abode, Buffalo/Niagara Falls, is now trying to corner the market on bad commercials. A small (yes, this is no means all of them) sampling: Fuccillo Chevrolet: “It’s HUUUUUUUUUUU-JUH!” Ognibene Ford: (car dealer jabbing furiously at the ground) “We’ll-SEE-YOU-RIGHT-HERE!” West Herr Auto Group: “Need a Ford? West Herr Ford Chevy. West Herr Ford Chevy. West Herr Ford Chevy.” Repeat until blue in the face. Hughesco Builders. “Call Hughesco at XXX-XXXX. Call Hughesco at XXX-XXXX. Call Hughesco at XXX-XXXX. Call Hughesco at XXX-XXXX. Call Hughesco at XXX-XXXX. Call Hughesco at XXX-XXXX.” They repeat the _same freakin’ sound clip_ six times during the ad. William Mattar, attorney. “Hurt in a car? Call William Mattar!” ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/30 "2004-09-03T18:09:20Z")
When I lived in Burbank, every Christmas they ran the same commercial for Circuit City. It was just the standard voice-over low price junk but the film was of a Santa Claus shooting hoops at the ghetto playground. It made no sense, but at the end, he dunks it and swings from the rim and I almost wet my pants laughing. It got funnier every time. If I had not moved away I might have needed therapy. I still chuckle when I think about it. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/31 "2004-09-03T18:11:57Z")
> [@Podkayne](#): > > Hands down the tackiest commercial I ever saw was a local car dealer, at Christmas time. He didn’t actually mention any cars; he was just coming on tv (and mentioning his car dealership) to wish us all the Lord Jesus Christ’s glorious blessings during this most sacred and beautiful holiday season. He also wanted to introduce us to his new granddaughter, a darling baby girl in a pretty christmas dress who he dandled on his knee throughout the commercial. Then he looked straight into the camera and said, “Life. What a beautiful choice.” That sounds so much like Crossroads Ford in Cary, NC. The guy runs religious-themed commercials every Christmas and Easter; one year, I swear I heard him say “Praise the Lord, buy a Ford” in an Easter commercial. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/32 "2004-09-03T18:37:43Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > … the one with that little creature who props up the toenail makes me want to scrub my feet, my eyes and my brain. Ugh. People always say they change the channel when certain commercials come on, and that one does it for me. I hate it. When he lifts up the toenail and climbs under, it just skeeves me out. Ick, ick, ick. _::: shudder:::_ ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/33 "2004-09-03T20:00:34Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I like that one. It makes me laugh, too. I like the end when Glen gets off the elevator and the other guy gets on so they just switch to his name. Is it Jim? “Jim! Jim, Jim, Jim!” 😃 The other guy’s name is Roy. **Roy! Roy, Roy, Roy!** ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/34 "2004-09-03T21:29:50Z")
[Micheal Pollack](http://watchingyou.com/pollack.html) Words fail me… ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/35 "2004-09-03T22:01:16Z")
I love the local cable system’s ads for local businesses… especially the ones where the small business owners host the commercials themselves. God, I swear it’s straight outta [Second City TV…](http://sctvguide.ca/programs/a_boil.htm) > [@Edna Boil](#): > > So come on down to Tex and Edna Boil’s Prarie Warehouse and Curio Emporium. Don’t miss JoJo the world’s biggest prairie dog, Chuckie the baseball playing chicken, and James Dean’s wreck. Tex and Edna Boil’s Prarie Warehous and Curio Emporium: For all your badlands needs. Egad, did they have it pegged! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/36 "2004-09-03T22:08:49Z")
Here in Arizona we have a guy who must be Cal Worthington’s long-lost brother–Tex Earnhardt. His basic shtick is riding on the back of an enormous steer and announcing, “This ain’t no bull!” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/37 "2004-09-03T22:16:31Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Anyone from the L.A. area will certainly have suffered through this one: _“We’ll beat anyone’s advertised price or your mattress is FREEEEE!!!”_ Oh, the horror. > > And I wonder…how many free mattresses has Sit & Sleep delivered in its history? Think about it, someone comes in with an ad that’s $10 cheaper, and the salesperson says, “Oh my, I can’t knock ten bucks off this bed. So here, you might as well just take it.” Yeah, riiight. That doesn’t stop their obnoxious slogan, however. And their toll-free number is 1-800-FREEEEE. Ugh. Ugh is right. I hate that guy, and I will NEVER buy a mattress from him. I once called the company and tried for nearly an hour to get someone to provide me a copy of the policy and procedure in place to back up this claim. They refusing to admit that there was no such policy. So I called the Attorney General’s office, hoping I could get them to come down on the guy’s _okole_. They said I had to petition in writing to have a false/misleading advertising complaint filed for investigation and action. Nope. _Way_ too much trouble for me. Sorry I brought it up. I’ll just keep on hating the commercials, while the resentment and contempt build up in my gut. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/38 "2004-09-03T22:24:05Z")
Why do all of the L.A. mattress (_And did those feet/In ancient times/ Walk upon England’s mountains green…_ Sorry. It slipped out.) all have “camp” accents? (i.e., they all had syllibant esses.) Anyone remember “Al the Bedspread King”? Old dude was whack. Kevin and Bean used to have him as a “guest commentator” on their morning show on KROQ. Although I never saw him there, Al was apparently also on Comedy Central’s _The Daily Show_. (Al died in June 2001 at the age of 93.) ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/39 "2004-09-03T22:28:26Z")
“I’m Earl Scheib, and I can paint _any_ car for $99.95! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!” Why the “RIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT”? I always wondered. That, and I remember the price going upward from $29.95, when I was a kid, to $109.95. By that time, I was amazed ol’ Earl was still around. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757/40 "2004-09-04T00:19:16Z")
Who’s the mattress guy in the New York Capital District whose commercials feature him singing in a horrible, tuneless, kill-me-now manner? Especially at Christmas? His billboard on the highway (I think there’s one at the intersections of US Routes 9 and 20, and there used to be one on I-90 westbound) have a giant caricature of him in a stripey nightgown and nightcap. His voice is so awful. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-and-the-best-of-bad-commercials/262757.md?page=3)