# The worst blind date in the history of mankind (warning:long) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 1, 2006, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093 "2006-09-01T17:35:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/21 "2006-09-02T04:40:20Z")
Kudos, **jay-c**! Great story, and well written. I’ve dated a lot (lot,lot,lot) in my lifetime, but I’ve only been on two blind dates. #1 was in high school, when one of my buddie’s girlfriends fixed me up with a friend of hers. The blind date girl was very good looking, and we hit it off from the start. We were together for six or seven months, until her folks moved to another state and that ended that. Blind date #2 was a few decades later. My (then) teenage son started seeing a girl, but they didn’t fit very well. He then set in on me about her mom: “You gotta’ meet her mom! Her mom is hot! Her mom is cool!” So I ask “Is this mom hot or cool? : Make up your mind.” Anyway, he kept agitating about me meeting this woman, cooking up situations that had to be avoided, etc., until it became embarrassing. I finally agreed to call this mom and ask her out. “Ah-ha”, I says to myself. “I’ll put the wraps on this deal quick. I’ll take her to a ball game, thus boring her to tears and then I’ll take her back home. Junior will shut-the-fuck-up about it, and peace will be restored.” So I took her to a ball game. Then I took her to several other places. Then four months later we got married and this month we celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary. Ever since then, there’s been a limit to just how mad I can get at that boy! 😃 So my blind date experience was great: Two times at bat, two home runs. ---
**Author:** ![parrot\_recipes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@parrot\_recipes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parrot_recipes)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/22 "2006-09-02T07:31:47Z")
> [@the chicken of exeter](#): > > , except it was a UVF tattoo. > > yes, my friend set me up with a terrorist. and not even one of the good terrorist groups. i made random babbling apologies and ran away, and he has only just stopped phone-stalking me. I am not up on my terrorists, what is UVF? ---
**Author:** ![MrJackboots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MrJackboots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrJackboots)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/23 "2006-09-02T07:35:51Z")
[UVF](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UVF). Loosely, they’re the loyal-to-England answer to the IRA. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/24 "2006-09-02T07:52:17Z")
> [@the chicken of exeter](#): > > yes, my friend set me up with a terrorist. and not even one of the good terrorist groups. I did think there were any “good terrorist groups.” Terrorism is Bad by its very nature. ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/25 "2006-09-02T10:41:33Z")
> [@John Carter of Mars](#): > > Kudos, **jay-c**! Great story, and well written. > > I’ve dated a lot (lot,lot,lot) in my lifetime, but I’ve only been on two blind dates. > > #1 was in high school, when one of my buddie’s girlfriends fixed me up with a friend of hers. The blind date girl was very good looking, and we hit it off from the start. We were together for six or seven months, until her folks moved to another state and that ended that. > > Blind date #2 was a few decades later. My (then) teenage son started seeing a girl, but they didn’t fit very well. > He then set in on me about her mom: “You gotta’ meet her mom! Her mom is hot! Her mom is cool!” > So I ask “Is this mom hot or cool? : Make up your mind.” Anyway, he kept agitating about me meeting this woman, cooking up situations that had to be avoided, etc., until it became embarrassing. I finally agreed to call this mom and ask her out. > > “Ah-ha”, I says to myself. “I’ll put the wraps on this deal quick. I’ll take her to a ball game, thus boring her to tears and then I’ll take her back home. Junior will shut-the-fuck-up about it, and peace will be restored.” > > So I took her to a ball game. Then I took her to several other places. Then four months later we got married and this month we celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary. Ever since then, there’s been a limit to just how mad I can get at that boy! 😃 > > So my blind date experience was great: Two times at bat, two home runs. Awwwwww! So I need to know, is she hot or is she cool? ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/26 "2006-09-02T11:01:30Z")
> [@MrJackboots](#): > > [UVF](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UVF). Loosely, they’re the loyal-to-England answer to the IRA. The IRA is a terrorist organization? ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/27 "2006-09-02T12:06:34Z")
Wow. You must have done something _really_ bad to piss off your friend that much. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/28 "2006-09-02T12:21:51Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > The IRA is a terrorist organization? [Yes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Provisional_Irish_Republican_Army). ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/29 "2006-09-02T12:27:28Z")
> [@John Carter of Mars](#): > > I’ve dated a lot (lot,lot,lot) in my lifetime, but I’ve only been on two blind dates. > > #1 was in high school, when one of my buddie’s girlfriends fixed me up with a friend of hers. The blind date girl was very good looking, and we hit it off from the start. We were together for six or seven months, until her folks moved to another state and that ended that. > > Blind date #2 was a few decades later. My (then) teenage son started seeing a girl, but they didn’t fit very well. > He then set in on me about her mom: “You gotta’ meet her mom! Her mom is hot! Her mom is cool!” > So I ask “Is this mom hot or cool? : Make up your mind.” Anyway, he kept agitating about me meeting this woman, cooking up situations that had to be avoided, etc., until it became embarrassing. I finally agreed to call this mom and ask her out. > > “Ah-ha”, I says to myself. “I’ll put the wraps on this deal quick. I’ll take her to a ball game, thus boring her to tears and then I’ll take her back home. Junior will shut-the-fuck-up about it, and peace will be restored.” > > So I took her to a ball game. Then I took her to several other places. Then four months later we got married and this month we celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary. Ever since then, there’s been a limit to just how mad I can get at that boy! 😃 > > So my blind date experience was great: Two times at bat, two home runs. So your son and step-daughter used to date? Ewwwww… 😉 Congrats on the marriage. Sometimes blind dates do work out…and your son has good taste! ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/30 "2006-09-02T13:01:48Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I’m going to save this and print it out to give to my daughter on her 14th birthday. Should keep her from dating until she’s 26 or so, dontcha think? Are you kidding. At 14, she’ll read this and think, “Cool. He has a car. He’s out of school, so all of my friends will think I’m so cool for dating an older, more sophisticated guy. My parents will hate him. He’s got this Goth thing going, hanging out in cemetaries and all. Maybe I’ll go hang out at the Food Court and see if I run into him.” "Mom, can I go to the mall with Teri? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/31 "2006-09-02T13:55:14Z")
> [@Tully Mars](#): > > Are you kidding. At 14, she’ll read this and think, “Cool. He has a car. He’s out of school, so all of my friends will think I’m so cool for dating an older, more sophisticated guy. My parents will hate him. He’s got this Goth thing going, hanging out in cemetaries and all. Maybe I’ll go hang out at the Food Court and see if I run into him.” > "Mom, can I go to the mall with Teri? AAAH! :eek: Either you’re stalking me, or that’s one hell of a funny coincidence! Her godmama is named Teri (one “r”, one “i”), and would be \*exactly \*the sort of Auntie who would indeed take her to the mall to cruise bad boys! Thanks, my cereal milk is now spat in a decorative fashion all over my monitor, and the baby (future 14 year old) is saying, “Mama laugh?”, which is only making it worse! 😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/32 "2006-09-02T14:21:13Z")
Teri’s just a name I pulled out of the air, so don’t call the FBI on me. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/33 "2006-09-03T00:21:49Z")
Nope, can’t compete with that, except for being set up with girls that have “good personalities” - friend code for “they tip the scales at twice your weight.” There is the girl that, out of nowhere, asked me “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?” After some banter about my monotheistic but somewhat agnostic beliefs, she handed me some Chick tracts. Yes, she was quite serious about it. In doing so, though, she knocked my hot cup of coffee, with the contents spilling onto my crotch. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/34 "2006-09-03T04:57:26Z")
> [@indecisive1](#): > > Awwwwww! > So I need to know, is she hot or is she cool? She’s got a lot of both, thus defying some major laws of physics. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/35 "2006-09-03T11:57:03Z")
My patheric blind date story pales… I was 20, and very recently stationed at NAS North Island in San Diego. I hadn’t really met anyone so I accepted when a friend said she could fix me up with a Marine she knew. It was a double date blind date thing. We went to see a movie - _The Omen_. The movie was the high point of the evening, and I hated it! My date hardly talked to me, and since I used to be really shy, I didn’t initiate any conversation. I don’t remember his name, and I never saw him again. I don’t recall hanging out with that friend much after that, either. See, boring. Just like the date. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/36 "2006-09-03T13:54:14Z")
> [@jay-c](#): > > I’m almost 31 now, and married. I can say with absolute certainty that he _wasn’t_ the one. So, is your husband boring and dull? Great story. Have you googled Jared lately and found out what he’s up to? ---
**Author:** ![jay-c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@jay-c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jay-c)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093/37 "2006-09-05T13:36:34Z")
> [@kawaiitentaclebeast](#): > > That’s what he said? Those exact words? “Coon”, yes, that’s exact. You don’t tend to forget that when you hear it, not only for its level of offensiveness but because it isn’t something you commonly hear. “Skinhead neo-nazi”… I can’t say with 100% certainty 11 years after the fact that I reported that accurately. Most likely it was just “skinhead” or “nazi” or something to that effect. I doubt he had the ability to string together that many polysyllabic words. > [@PunditLisa](#): > > So, is your husband boring and dull? > > Great story. Have you googled Jared lately and found out what he’s up to? My husband is neither boring nor dull, thankfully. He definitely keeps me on my toes, just not in a Jared Barnett sort of way. I have no idea where Jared is, and my relationship with my so-called “friend” who set up the date went downhill pretty fast after that. However, Googling “Jared Barnett” (not his real name) turns up several reviews for a book about an accused murderer of the same name. Interesting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-blind-date-in-the-history-of-mankind-warning-long/371093.md?page=1)