# The worst book you ever read and why. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 1, 2006, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507 "2006-12-01T18:44:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![MadPansy64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@MadPansy64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPansy64)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/121 "2006-12-03T20:00:57Z")
[QUOTE=AuntiePam] Anyone else tempted to try some of the clunkers mentioned here? [/QUOTE] I liked _The Historian._ Didn’t love it, by no means a favorite, but I’d read it again if the mood struck. It is pretty good, actually, except for the Dracula parts. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/122 "2006-12-03T20:01:24Z")
The worst book I have ever read was John Grisham’s “Runaway Jury”. Why? I liked Grisham’s former novels, even though some book snobs would condemn me for my taste. I didn’t care, his books were well written and served to make me think about the justice system as it is. I read “Runaway Jury” as a thriller that I thought I would enjoy. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a big old PSA for … for who? The Non smokers association? What the hell? What were you trying to prove? Why do you think smokers deserve to sue cigarette companies? Do you think they don’t know they are smoking tainted cigarettes? Do you think I go to your movies to see PSA’s? John Grisham made an enemy of me with that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/123 "2006-12-03T20:05:52Z")
I meant to say Grisham made an enemy of me with that novel. The movie, of course, was changed to gun control rights. And that didn’t sit well with me either. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/124 "2006-12-03T20:36:30Z")
[QUOTE=jsgoddess] It’s one of my favorite books. I think it’s pretty accessible for Dickens. [/QUOTE] Oh it was accessible. It just sucked. The plot was horribly ridiculous and most everything that happened was incredibly pointless. ---
**Author:** ![MarcusF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/67e7ee/32.png) [@MarcusF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarcusF)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/125 "2006-12-03T20:54:05Z")
**Asterion** mentions a book as being like a “badly ghost written Tom Clancy” but what about bad Clancy itself? First up, I enjoyed the early Clancys – _Hunt for Red October, Patriot Games, Cardinal of the Kremlin,_ etc. were all good solid escapist page turners – but what about the later Jack Ryan books? _Debt of Honor_ was iffy, \*Executive Orders \* was over long, but \*The Bear and The Dragon \* was truly awful. The premise is laughable and plotting is daft – technology conquers all as the good guy’s equipment works perfectlly, I can forgive that, however unrealistic, as standard Clancy – but the writing is so verbose and repetitious as it wanders on for a thousand pages. Great chunks of the wisdom of TC are repeated word for word in different sections of the book which cries out for the services of a good editor. Eliminate a third of the text and you might end up with reasonable Tom Clancy novel suitable for reading on the beach. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/126 "2006-12-03T22:29:03Z")
[QUOTE=MarcusF] **Asterion** mentions a book as being like a “badly ghost written Tom Clancy” but what about bad Clancy itself? First up, I enjoyed the early Clancys – _Hunt for Red October, Patriot Games, Cardinal of the Kremlin,_ etc. were all good solid escapist page turners – but what about the later Jack Ryan books? _Debt of Honor_ was iffy, \*Executive Orders \* was over long, but \*The Bear and The Dragon \* was truly awful. The premise is laughable and plotting is daft – technology conquers all as the good guy’s equipment works perfectlly, I can forgive that, however unrealistic, as standard Clancy – but the writing is so verbose and repetitious as it wanders on for a thousand pages. Great chunks of the wisdom of TC are repeated word for word in different sections of the book which cries out for the services of a good editor. Eliminate a third of the text and you might end up with reasonable Tom Clancy novel suitable for reading on the beach. [/QUOTE] I knew Clancy was dead to me when he spent an ENTIRE CHAPTER of The Sum of All Fears describing in minute technical detail the events that took place in the first few microseconds after a nuclear weapon exploded. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/127 "2006-12-04T01:08:07Z")
[QUOTE=AHunter3] No contest. Harlan Ellison, _Memos from Purgatory_. [Ellison] Umm, well, they were _real tough street hoods_. I was in, ya know, _serious mortal danger_. I had to establish _street cred_. They dragged out one of their sexy gun molls, ya know, hard-bitten ‘bitch dames’. And she looked at me with a gang challenge. And I knew my credibilty and manhood and survival in front of those warriors of the asphalt was at stake, right then and there. I had to do it. For the sake of the glorious Totally Authentic, I’ve Been There BOOK I was writing. Ahem. Yes, folks, I “did her”. I, umm, “fucked the bitch”, as the spoken currency, the argot, would have it. All in the name of Research. I had to Do Myself Proud, I was being evaluated. When the Deed was Done, they “slapped” me what is known as “high fives”. Take note. I am way cool. I “get it”. I, umm, blend right in. But I’m telling you, it was a scary moment, I was right there on the edge. But I am way cool. I “fucked” a “chick”. You have to be ready for anything if you’re going to do this kind of thing, and if you can’t handle the Nitty Gritty, umm, then don’t go there. It’s not for everyone. Not everyone could handle having to have sex with a 14 year old girl to avoid being perceived as a total schmuck by a bunch of 17 year old urban “toughs”. But I did and I am here to tell you the tale. [/Ellison] [/QUOTE] Apparently not the _Memos from Purgatory_ that I read. Maybe there’s another book with the same title, written by a different writer who’s also named Ellison. But if I had to bet, I’d bet that you never actually read the book. My pick: _The Tommyknockers_ by Stephen King. Brain-damaging crap. Can’t believe my brother recommended that book. Hundreds of pages of hoping it was going to get better. I wasn’t surprised to learn later that King wrote it with tissue up his nose because he was doing so much blow. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/128 "2006-12-04T04:11:03Z")
_Hannibal_, hands down. That book pissed me off. I bought it hardcover, and tossed it in a dumpster shortly after finishing it. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/129 "2006-12-04T04:44:39Z")
You’re not the first to mention Hannibal. Was it the ending that ticked you off? I liked it, but I was smirking all the way through it, which is probably what Thomas Harris was doing too. “Take **this** , you Lecter lovers! And leave me alone!” But now he’s written another – this one’s about Lecter’s youth. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/130 "2006-12-04T06:04:46Z")
I’m not sure how to characterize my reaction to _Hannibal_. It was awful on so many levels. In TSotL, the tension was between the clean characters (Clarice, etc), and those so far over the edge (Hannibal, the serial killer). This tension, and the chase for good to overtake Evil, was the heart of the story. In _Hannibal_, none of this matters – the “out there” people are both protagonists (Hannibal!) and evil doers (Verger). There is no good or bad, only means and ends. Jeezus K Rist! At the end, Hannibal and Clarice eat Vergers brain, and become lovers! You defend this crap? ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/131 "2006-12-04T06:16:51Z")
Excuse me, I should have said: At the end, Hannibal and Clarice eat Krendler’s brain, and become lovers! You defend this crap? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/132 "2006-12-04T13:03:32Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] _Atlanta Nights_. It was designed to be the worst book ever written, and it is hilariously successful. Maybe it shouldn’t count, since it’s a parody, but since **RealityChuck** posted here… I’m tempted to re-nominate _The Da Vinci Code_, but at least that thing had flow - unlike _Washington Square_, _The Chosen_, and a couple of other books I vaguely remember from high school that were boring and ponderous in every way. We all hated _Great Expectations_, but I think there were worse books. [/QUOTE] You don’t mean _The Chosen_ by Chaim Potok, do you? I excused people here who blaspheme Ayn Rand because they just don’t understand her. 😃 _d&r_ but to diss Potok’s _The Chosen_!?!?! ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/133 "2006-12-04T13:22:55Z")
Without hesitation, I nominate The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. I had numerous friends recommend it, tell me it was the most amazing book EVER yadd yadd, and eventually one of said ‘friends’ bought it for me for Christmas. For those who haven’t suffered their way through it, the book is an imaginary account of the life of Rachel and Leah, two wives of Jacob (of Bible fame). The red tent is basically a tent that the numerous wives have to go and sit in when they’re on the blob. So, it’s a book about periods. Occasionally, someone gives birth in said tent. Sometimes, when not on the blob, they’re allowed out of the tent to wait on the men. End of story. I have lost all faith in the judgement of my friends. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/134 "2006-12-04T13:43:41Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] _We All Fall Down_ -by some right wing fundamentalist who writes shite and can only get published from some online source. I had to read it for a book club (a book club mind you who does a _recipe_ book once a year–I no longer belong) and to use this book for kindling would be a kindness. [/QUOTE] I finally read this back in March. You’d think he was a righty fundy, but not quite- I gotta find the website, but he started it as a diatribe against fundyism & then took the greater challenge of writing it from that POV. There’s more than the usual amount of editing, spelling & continuity errors, but it’s a great visceral read- I’d love to see a movie version but only Tarantino could do it justice. For those who have no idea what this is- imagine a one-volume LEFT BEHIND with all the sex & gore & cussing that would really ensue during the Tribulation. Marvelously brutal! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/135 "2006-12-04T13:51:56Z")
_Congo_, by Michael Chrichton. It opened my eyes regarding what a hack writer he truly is. The heroine has this annoying habit of pulling stuff out of her ass throughout the story, like secretly stashed satellite phones, to the point that it was manmade Deus Ex Machina… Also, a close second the book by Stephen King about the alien invasion in winter (I forget the title; _Dreamcatcher_?) has soured my liking of his stories. That one was too long, and the army unit trying to control the foothold by killing the infected victims was waaaaaay too unbelievable. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/136 "2006-12-04T14:11:56Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] I finally read this back in March. You’d think he was a righty fundy, but not quite- I gotta find the website, but he started it as a diatribe against fundyism & then took the greater challenge of writing it from that POV. There’s more than the usual amount of editing, spelling & continuity errors, but it’s a great visceral read- I’d love to see a movie version but only Tarantino could do it justice. For those who have no idea what this is- imagine a one-volume LEFT BEHIND with all the sex & gore & cussing that would really ensue during the Tribulation. Marvelously brutal! [/QUOTE] Not marvelously brutal-needlessly visceral with no point or focus. Here-let’s throw in a woman having sex with a dog-because that’s what happens, children, when you don’t say YES to Jesus. Just one example. Convert the Jews! Convert the Jews! is another. I do not see this as a diatribe against fundies-I read it as a paean to such, as did the reviews, IMS. blech. Blessedly, memory has obscured the rest of the book. I much prefer the episode of _Six Feet Under_ that deals with all things apocalyptic… Not that anyone asked, but I’m telling you any way: Dickens needed an editor. Badly. I can read Thackeray, Austen, Eyre (except Wuthering Heights-blech) etc–it is not the language of that era that confounds me. Chuck must have been paid by the word. _GE_ has to be one of the most nonsensical plots of all time. If they want kids to read Dickens so badly-read _A Tale of Two Cities_ --now that’s a good yarn. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/137 "2006-12-04T15:32:22Z")
[QUOTE=mlerose] I’ve read a lot of awful stuff in my time, but the worst book is still one I was forced to read in 8th grade - **The Red Pony** by John Steinbeck. Utter loathing. Hate. The whole plot ends in the first chapter and the rest is scenery. Words cannot express how terrible I found this book to be. And it’s considered literature! Feh. [/QUOTE] I feel your pain. During my formative early teen years I went to school in Salinas, California. Had to do three or four book reports on Steinbeck works every year. Blech! I mean, for Og’s sake, the guy spends a half of a page describing a glob of spit rolling in the dust! Utterly worthless. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/138 "2006-12-04T16:17:00Z")
[QUOTE=TwoTrouts] I knew someone who tried his hand at writing. The result was **Sarbola** , a story about an embittered microbiology grad student suffering under the tutelage (and whips) of a nasty, female researcher. He decides to get back at all academia by releasing a virus that combines the properties of ebola and SARS. He sent me a copy to review. I never wrote back. It was published by one of those self-publishing houses. [I like this review](http://www.ralphmag.org/CP/sarbola.html). [/QUOTE] HAHAHAHAHAHA! I love the part about the riding whips. There are several books I’ve hated and tossed over the years. _The Players Come Again, Catcher in the Rye,_ and _Look Homeward Angel_ are some that immediately spring to mind. The worst book, though has to be _Pillar of Salt_ by Albert Memmi. It’s a semiautobiographical novel about a poor Jewish boy growing up in Algeria (?) and how he Got Education and Rose Above His Roots. I didn’t even finish reading it. I got to the eighty-millionth rant about how embarrased he was by his family’s poverty while they were scrimping to put his sorry ass through school and I closed it firmly. Ungrateful little bastard. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/139 "2006-12-04T17:34:03Z")
[QUOTE=squeegee] Excuse me, I should have said: At the end, Hannibal and Clarice eat Krendler’s brain, and become lovers! You defend this crap? :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Sure. It’s over the top and a bit silly, but I think it was intentional, and Harris did a good job getting there. When I finished the book, I had to laugh. Look what he did! I couldn’t take it seriously, so I can defend it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507/140 "2006-12-04T18:21:14Z")
[QUOTE=Malienation] Well, this doesn’t really count since I didn’t finish the book, but I tried reading Umberto Eco’s **The Name of the Rose**. Truly, truly painful; somehow, I managed to slog through about 5 pages before I realized that I was in for another 600 pages of the same inpenetrable prose. I hate giving up on books, feeling that one should stay to the bitter end, but I have limits. Eco found mine. [/QUOTE] I had trouble finishing this one. I thought it was due to it being translated from Italian into English. Does anyone know if it reads better in its original language? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-book-you-ever-read-and-why/382507.md?page=8)