# The Worst Britons
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [February 27, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899 "2003-02-27T15:46:58Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)
#### Post date: [February 27, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/21 "2003-02-27T19:13:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \*
> **And while we’re on the subject of Britain’s decaying public transport network, may I nominate Stagecoach boss and Clause 28 supporter Brian Souter? And may I say that he and Peter Tatchell deserve each other?**
Lord mercy, I forgot about Souter. I remember Private Eye’s frequent sections on him and his company (“Stagecoach–the company that holds you up”) Stagecoach tried their best to gut public transport in Oxford. I don’t know how bad it is now, **Steve** , but it was pretty bad when I left in December 2000. Blech.
No mention yet of David Mellor–must not be a lot of former Radio Five Live listeners about, who remember the time when he and the aforementioned Richard Littlejohn (not to mention the also-nominated Nicky Campbell) wreaked havoc.
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### Author:  [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)
#### Post date: [February 27, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/22 "2003-02-27T19:51:08Z")
**David Irving** , racist, bigot and holocaust denier and now spokesperson for the Fascist National Alliance.Gifted intellectually he has used his great talent to lend an academic cloak of respectability to Nazism, a first call arsehole of the highest order.
**Micheal Howard** Even his party colleagues said of him that he has “a touch of darkness about him”, another arshole who hired placeman Derek Lewes to run the Prison Service even though Lewes had no experience at all of the criminal justice system and was in fact a tv channel executive (Derek in his defence did a decent job of it actually)
Micheal Howard interfered with operational running of the prison system and one such decision, to ignore security recommendations at Parkhurst prison on the grounds of cost, led directly to an escape by three very dangerous individuals. Howard then sacked Lewes and tried to put the blame on him.
**Micheal Portillo** Something about him makes me think “God help us” if he gets to make it as Prime Minister.
**Max Clifford** - Total shitbag.
**Rupert Murdoch** , for his undermining of the democratic process by using his media empire to favour political parties he wants to see as governing the UK, and being disturbingly successful at it.
**Ian Duncan-Smith** , for undermining the democratic proces by being a shite leader of the opposition to the current administration.I dislike his party anyway but democracy needs good opposition to provide robust examination of government policy.
**Robbie Williams** for pretending to be a rebel whilst being part of the entertainment establishment, and just a twat.
**Richard Whitely** Met him in a restaurant, completely arrogant git, thinks he is lord of all he surveys, unsubtle in his attention getting, just has to let everyone know they are in the presence of a celebrity, ostentatious.
I can’t remember which woman(might have been Sarah Kennedy) i who met him when she was on holiday, but she commented that she was gald she had been sunburned and was covered up, because his eyes fixed magneticly upon the breasts of every female he spoke to, and she was very uncomfortable in his presence because of this.
**John Milton Whatmore** Head of Mediawatch(think Mary Whitehouse NVLA - it renamed itself)
Right wing bunch of gits who think that adults are not capable of excercising judgement when watching tv, they want us all to live ina world of fluffy bunny wunnies, rainbows and 2+2 nuclear familes. T
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [February 27, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/23 "2003-02-27T20:00:10Z")
The Spice Girls
Margaret Thatcher
Princess Anne
Ian Paisley
(Why do they have to be alive???)
If not:
Richard III
William III
Oliver Cromwell
Jack the Ripper
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### Author:  [@big\_alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/big_alex)
#### Post date: [February 27, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/24 "2003-02-27T20:47:28Z")
May I second Robbie Williams
How annoying is he? One minute it’s all, " I’m so brillant, I’m the best… blah blah blah," and then he’s all, " Oh I’m so insecure and lonely and I need your help (please buy my crappy music)"
And Mark Laurelson (prob. wrong spelling), the football pundit.
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### Author:  [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)
#### Post date: [February 27, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/25 "2003-02-27T20:59:40Z")
I haven’t seen a nomination yet for Lord Haw Haw, but I’d say he deserves a mention.
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### Author:  [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)
#### Post date: [February 27, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/26 "2003-02-27T21:19:07Z")
Henry VIII _did_ order the complete destruction of a number of villages on the Scottish border, though. One of those was of direct genealogical significance to me, so I spit on his grave - puh!
Although if we’re talking about worst _reigns_ overall, then Stephen, Edward II and John would all get a ‘Certificate of Incompetence’ and a slap in the face with a rotten pilchard.
Of the living examples already mooted though, I’ll pick **Rupert Murdoch** as most pilchard-worthy.
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### Author:  [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)
#### Post date: [February 27, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/27 "2003-02-27T21:22:32Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Ferris \*
> \*\*
>
> Of the living examples already mooted though, I’ll pick **Rupert Murdoch** as most pilchard-worthy. \*\*
Rupert Murdoch was born in Melbourne, Australia, but he’s been a citizen of the United States of America for at least a decade now.
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [February 27, 2003, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/28 "2003-02-27T22:34:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Duke \*
> **Lord mercy, I forgot about Souter. I remember Private Eye’s frequent sections on him and his company (“Stagecoach–the company that holds you up”) Stagecoach tried their best to gut public transport in Oxford. I don’t know how bad it is now, Steve, but it was pretty bad when I left in December 2000. Blech.**
Well, I travel to work on a Stagecoach route, to a small village just a few miles from Oxford. And I get home every evening at the same time I would if I was commuting from flipping London - a fact which no doubt brings a certain sulphurous warmth to Souter’s foul and stygian black heart.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*No mention yet of David Mellor–must not be a lot of former Radio Five Live listeners about, who remember the time when he and the aforementioned Richard Littlejohn (not to mention the also-nominated Nicky Campbell) wreaked havoc. \*\*
Ah, David Mellor. “He bestrode the political world like a colossus, with one foot in his mouth and one foot in hers.” Currently diverting the audience of Classic FM with his unique style. If “diverting” is quite the right word.
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### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [February 27, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/29 "2003-02-27T23:28:32Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \*
> \*\*Ah, David Mellor. “He bestrode the political world like a colossus, with one foot in his mouth and one foot in hers.” Currently diverting the audience of Classic FM with his unique style. If “diverting” is quite the right word. \*\*
As long as he diverts them to Radio 3, I won’t complain too much.
I would nominate Stephen Byers (and Jo Moore), except that I have this theory that he was used as a judas goat for the sinister Gordon Brown (“never a frown with Gordon Brown”), who constantly changed the amount of money allocated for use in rebuilding the rail infrastructure and left Byers to explain it to the seething commuters.
Heck with it – chuck all three of 'em onto the list.
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### Author:  [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/30 "2003-02-28T04:23:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \*
> \*\*Richard III \*\*
Another potential frame-up. Historians still aren’t quite sure what happened to the “Princes in the Tower,” and there’s certainly no hard evidence that Richard had them killed. My WAG based on reading a couple of books on the subject and talking to a couple of medieval historians: the princes were put in the Tower and died either of bad treatment or disease (neither would be a surprise in the filthy conditions of the Tower), and after Richard’s defeat at Bosworth Field, the new king and head of the new Tudor dynasty Henry VII had it bandied about that Richard had offed them intentionally. Being dead, Richard wasn’t around to challenge that depiction of events. Another theory, which I do not subscribe to, is that only Edward (the older prince) died before Richard came to the throne, and that upon Henry VII’s coronation the young Richard, Duke of York was found alive in the Tower and discreetly murdered.
I’m not about to defend Oliver Cromwell, however.
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### Author:  [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/31 "2003-02-28T10:55:04Z")
Awful lot of wankers and slappers on that list. Also, it just doesn’t seem right to not include [Prisoner number FF 8282](http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1405020946/202-6984104-6592661)
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/32 "2003-02-28T11:19:28Z")
Yes … we need a special exemption from the “currently in jail” clause, just for him. He _is_ a special case, he _deserves_ his place on the list.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/33 "2003-02-28T11:27:27Z")
Shame about Archer.
Off the top of my head:
Ian Paisley
Margaret Thatcher
Richard Littlejohn
MICHAEL WINNER - why hasn’t anyone mentioned him yet?
Johnny ‘Mad Dog’ Adair
John Prescott
Max Clifford
Not too enamoured of Martin McGuinness either, but at least he’s _appearing_ to be democratic.
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### Author:  [@Porus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Porus)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/34 "2003-02-28T12:12:31Z")
I would like to add the following
Brian Sewell (sp ?)
Dale Winton
Jamie Oliver
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### Author:  [@cart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cart)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/35 "2003-02-28T12:13:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by casdave \*
> \*\ ***David Irving** , racist, bigot and holocaust denier and now spokesperson for the Fascist National Alliance.Gifted intellectually he has used his great talent to lend an academic cloak of respectability to Nazism, a first call arsehole of the highest order.
> \*\*
What annoys me more about Irving is the fact that he writes history books full of lies, so any time spent reading them is wasted - a piece of your life that you won’t get back. Not that I would read any of his books.
> [@](#):
>
> **Micheal Howard**
> Micheal Howard interfered with operational running of the prison system and one such decision, to ignore security recommendations at Parkhurst prison on the grounds of cost, led directly to an escape by three very dangerous individuals. Howard then sacked Lewes and tried to put the blame on him.
But did he threaten to overrule him?
> [@](#):
>
> **Micheal Portillo** Something about him makes me think “God help us” if he gets to make it as Prime Minister.
Good choice, he’s a great example of an unprincipled career politician, at present doing his best to destabilise the party he supposedly supports. I don’t particularly fear him as PM, but I much prefer politicians who have an ideology that they believe in (I’d be hard pushed to name any at the moment).
> [@](#):
>
> **Max Clifford** - Total shitbag.
I couldn’t agree more. I’m glad someone else has mentioned him (and he’s in the Channel 4 list).
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Guinastasia_
> \*\*The Spice Girls
> Margaret Thatcher
> Princess Anne
> Ian Paisley
>
> (Why do they have to be alive???)
> \*\*
Be patient, they’ll die eventually. Also, what’s so bad about Princess Anne? Has she done something really nasty that I haven’t heard about?
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by jjimm_
> **Not too enamoured of Martin McGuinness either, but at least he’s appearing to be democratic.**
Northen Irish “politics” represents a bit of a loophole in this poll, there are a lot of mass murderers not behind bars, mainly as part of the peace process, so if we were being more serious they would probably take up the entire top 100. So I just chose Martin McGuinness as representative of the lot (the worst of a bad bunch perhaps). I’m a bit surprised that Paisley is so “popular”. He’s clearly unpleasant but hasn’t actually killed anyone. A better hate figure for a nationalist would be Adair.
Jo Moore and Richard Littlejohn are also good choices. Another I’ve just thought of is Mad Frankie Fraser. I hate the way a violent criminal can be treated as a celebrity.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/36 "2003-02-28T12:24:53Z")
Did you _threaten_ to overrule him?
_Did_ you threaten to overrule him?
Did you threaten to _overrule_ him?
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### Author:  [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/37 "2003-02-28T12:27:39Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by cart \*
> But did he threaten to overrule him?
[howard]I was not entitled to instruct Derek Lewis and I did not instruct him. And the truth is… [/howard] Repeat 14 times 😃
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/38 "2003-02-28T12:29:54Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by yojimbo \*
> \*\*[howard]I was not entitled to instruct Derek Lewis and I did not instruct him. And the truth is… [/howard] Repeat 14 times 😃 \*\*
But did you threaten to overrule _him_?
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### Author:  [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/39 "2003-02-28T12:32:36Z")
[Howard] Oh fuck off, Jeremy[/Howard]
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### Author:  [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/40 "2003-02-28T12:58:05Z")
Elton John deserves a special mention for decades of lukewarm mediocre shite mascarading as music, as well as being chief bandwagon jumper at the time of the demise of the burger dodging princess of pap. Phil Collins also shouldn’t be allowed escape our attention.
Sophie Ellis-Bextor, one more word about being the saviour of pop and I’ll happily give you a free trip to a place that will suit your make-up.
Brian Conley, come on down, and bring Cilla Black, Michael Barrymore, Les Dennis, Davina McCall, Ant&Dec and Noel Edmonds with you. Basically anyone whose been on early Saturday evening TV for the last 20 years should be chased off Beachy Head by a pack of rabid dogs.
Martin Johnson and Clive Woodward, your arrogance, whining and sneakiness represents all that is vile about English rugby. If you don’t get your comeuppance at Lansdowne Road, you’ll get it in Australia. You make my skin crawl.
Dishonourable mentions go to Littlejohn et al, that prick who runs the Salon (although I’ve a sneaking suspicion he’s Irish), about a million DJs, anyone who’s ever appeared on Ibiza Uncovered and the like and Gary Rhodes.
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