# The Worst Britons
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [February 27, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899 "2003-02-27T15:46:58Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/41 "2003-02-28T13:00:15Z")
Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, did you enjoy the opera?
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### Author:  [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/42 "2003-02-28T13:07:25Z")
Sorry, I thought I was on Room 101 there for a minute.
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### Author:  [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/43 "2003-02-28T13:33:52Z")
I have no time to make a list but I do believe Derry Irvine is a very nice chap who’s pretty hopeless at playing the tabloid game – give him one land mine on a football pitch and he’ll find it. Genuinely well-meaning, though, and worth keeping around. Just MHO.
Someone not yet mentioned who I’d like to have a long, private chat with is Ian Brady, partner of the recently departed Ms Hindley.
Top three this week:
Paisley
Thatcher
And, if allowed, Archer. If not, Prince half-wit Edward, if only because he’s so up-his-arse annoying. Bald, dense, pompous prat. Thank you.
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### Author:  [@mrsface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrsface)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/44 "2003-02-28T15:28:28Z")
I’d like to nominate Chris Woodhead, master of the strawman argument.
Mind you, Thatcher was pretty good at this trick, too.
And for triviality, Catherine Zeta “a million is not much to us” Jones.
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### Author:  [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/45 "2003-02-28T20:52:53Z")
Most of the most worthy candidates have already been mentioned. May I just add that **Tara Plonker Talkalot** woman to the list.
She is intently, relentlessly irritating. She has no skill, talent, insight, intelligence or special experience to warrant her endless tedious media appearances. If she has ever done anyone or anyhting any good, this has yet tobe reported in the media. To describe her as flawlessly stupid would be an insult to stupid people. She has an opinion on everything but knowledge of nothing. I don’t know by what bizarre Faustian pact she is entitled to unlimited appearances on every light-entertanment show going, or what she is deemed to add to these shows, but as soon as I hear someone mention even the first syllbable of her name I hit the remote and change channels or switch off. Challenge me to ram butter up a porcupine’s arse with a red hot poker, or to find something appealing about this unbelievably stupid and irritating woman, and I’d opt for the butter in a trice. Can’t she just piss off somewhere and achieve the obscurity for which she was truly destined?
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### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/46 "2003-02-28T23:12:53Z")
BTW, I jes’ love how **Ant ‘n’ Dec** count as one multi-headed organism – the world famous “Siamese Geordies”. Don’t these two _ever_ do anything without the other one along?
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/47 "2003-02-28T23:48:00Z")
Now _that_ brought to mind a whole host of mental images I could have done without…
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/48 "2003-03-01T00:03:50Z")
Anne is just a snotty, female version of Prince Philip.
Hey, there’s another one.
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### Author:  [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/49 "2003-03-01T00:06:28Z")
Prince Edward = Tim-nice-but-dim, without the niceness but with added niaivete.
I have to second Chris Woodhead with great enthusiasm.
A more patronising arrogant self-centred twat I have yet to encounter. His opinions are baseless, without knowledge, foundations or experience, this cunt demands respect of academics working in the most difficult circumstances and yet deems himself an authority in the intractable relentless problems that teachers have to face dayin and day out.
He is completely offensive to educational proffesionals the length and breadth of the UK and it’s clear that he has no background in education, or communication or cooperation.
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### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/50 "2003-03-01T00:09:35Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \*
> \*\*Now _that_ brought to mind a whole host of mental images I could have done without… \*\*
Hee hee. Have you noticed that they always stand the same way – Ant on the left, Dec on the right? How sad is that?
As far as the tabloids go, while I loathe Richard Littlejohn, Piers Morgan and pretty much everyone else involved in the production of the _Sun_, _Mirror_, and _News of the World_, my vote for Tabloid Crew I’d Most Like to See Submersed in Liquid Shit are the producers of the _Sunday Sport_ (although they probably wouldn’t notice, given their publication). I once saw a TV program about the SS, in which the Editor-in-Chief said something along the lines of:
> [@](#):
>
> I’ve seen 67-stone women, I’ve seen women with breasts bigger than my head, and I believe that our readers have a _right_ to see things like that. [emphasis his]
Jeez, I don’t understand why the Founding Fathers left that one out of the US Constitution…:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/51 "2003-03-01T01:06:20Z")
Jimmy Saville
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### Author:  [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/52 "2003-03-01T01:11:03Z")
Isn’t he in prison or dead or something.
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### Author:  [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/53 "2003-03-01T05:12:01Z")
I’m amazed that there have been soi many nominations for poor Robbie Williams (who, whatever you think of him, is pretty harmless) and nobody’s mentioned the scummiest Briton of all:
KIM PHILBY!!!
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/54 "2003-03-01T11:15:18Z")
Tara Pumpkin-Tumpkin has a very nice bum. This, I think, should ensure her removal from the top 10.
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### Author:  [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/55 "2003-03-01T11:22:21Z")
I’d like to second the suggestion of Rebekah Wade, for using the print press as a platform for inciting violence.
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### Author:  [@Fox\_in\_the\_Snow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_in_the_Snow)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/56 "2003-03-01T11:52:35Z")
I can’t believe Piers Morgan isn’t on the list. I loathe him.
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### Author:  [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/57 "2003-03-01T12:04:00Z")
Oh, and Kelvin Mackenzie. Any bets on his lifespan if he was dropped in the centre circle at Anfield on match day?
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### Author:  [@cart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cart)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/58 "2003-03-01T12:23:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jr8 \*
> \*\*As far as the tabloids go, while I loathe Richard Littlejohn, Piers Morgan and pretty much everyone else involved in the production of the _Sun_, _Mirror_, and _News of the World_, my vote for Tabloid Crew I’d Most Like to See Submersed in Liquid Shit are the producers of the _Sunday Sport_ (although they probably wouldn’t notice, given their publication). I once saw a TV program about the SS, in which the Editor-in-Chief said something along the lines of:
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > I’ve seen 67-stone women, I’ve seen women with breasts bigger than my head, and I believe that our readers have a right to see things like that. [emphasis his]
If it’s the same man I’m thinking of (I think he’s called Graham Livesey or something like that) this would definitely be tongue in cheek. The Sunday Sport makes no attempt to be regarded as a serious newspaper.
Piers Morgan, on the other hand is a very unpleasant man and it’s very irritating to see him wheeled out to give his comments on “press freedom” or general subjects about which his opinion counts no more than that of the average man on the street.
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Guinastasia_
> \*\*Anne is just a snotty, female version of Prince Philip.
>
> Hey, there’s another one.\*\*
I’m surprised that Prince Philip hasn’t been mentioned before. Now _my_ view on him is that some of his words have been deliberately blown up out of all proportion by sanctimonious journalists with chips on their shoulders, but I’m in the minority. He could be a winner given the right publicity.
Some more: What about Eamonn Holmes? Has he lived here long enough to count as naturalised? And that drug smuggler (not Johnny Vaughan) whose name escapes me. Then there’s Richard Blackwood and Phil Collins (for being so childish about Brass Eye, although I didn’t like either of them anyway). I would say Paul Daniels, but I liked his programme when I was a kid, so I won’t. The writers of _Cold Feet_. I should also mention John Leslie while he’s still eligible.
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### Author:  [@cart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cart)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/59 "2003-03-01T12:26:10Z")
Just one more: Ross Braun (horrible little Ferrari Formula 1 something or other).
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### Author:  [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-britons/157899/60 "2003-03-01T12:33:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by cart \*
> **If it’s the same man I’m thinking of (I think he’s called Graham Livesey or something like that) this would definitely be tongue in cheek. The Sunday Sport makes no attempt to be regarded as a serious newspaper.**
Tony Livesey, I think. It was a great documentary.
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