# The Worst crime I have ever committed is..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457 "2000-07-13T18:05:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/21 "2000-07-13T20:10:26Z")
Well jesus chrisp.And here we were all worried that you shot a man in reno just to watch him die. that’s kiddie stuff. Everyone does that. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/22 "2000-07-13T20:18:26Z")
Oh, well, I felt really bad about it, but I guess when we are young and dumb, we do stupid things. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/23 "2000-07-13T20:26:22Z")
Exactly. That’s what being young is for. Which, not to inject politics in MPSIMS or anything, is why I fought against prop 21 here in CA. It was really disturbing the stuff it does. ---
**Author:** ![DarbyV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@DarbyV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarbyV)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/24 "2000-07-13T20:42:41Z")
Prostitution…oh wait, scratch that, it’s called marriage. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/25 "2000-07-13T20:45:52Z")
I too, am guilty of that as well… ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/26 "2000-07-13T20:55:03Z")
Jaywalkin’ Jesus, people! I thought this would be a list of everyone’s _worst_ crimes not every little thing we ever did wrong. This reads like a kindergartner’s day out in the city. Since we’re headed in this direction, I’ll give my short list. Now, mind you, I’ve been caught for one of these, but I’m not saying which ‘cause it’s a little embarrassing. I was acquitted. The US justice system does _not_ work. Two incidents of grand theft auto One of grand larceny Four counts breaking and entering One little misdemeanor theft ~Ten or so incidents of assault and/or battery Countless occasions of carrying a concealed/illegal weapon Drug trafficking in volumes that would keep smaller national economies afloat And, of course, the other incident. There’s some more, but it’s all little stuff. I’m sure no one is curious about stuff like shoplifting, fraud, locally proscribed sex acts, moving violations, disturbing the peace, public intoxication, and such. At age nineteen, all of this ended. With the exception of traffic violations and infrequent drug use and/or transportation, I turned around completely and became a model citizen. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/27 "2000-07-13T20:57:30Z")
You have piqued my curiosity. I am now really wondering about “the other incident”. Now that you have mentioned it, you have to tell us. It just wouldn’t be right otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/28 "2000-07-13T21:02:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \* > \*\* > > I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. > > \*\* Damn! You took mine. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/29 "2000-07-13T21:04:12Z")
Okie dokie, Johnny Cash. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/30 "2000-07-13T21:07:53Z")
hey ChrisP that better not be a slam against Johnny. Otherwise we will be shooting someone here… if you get my drift. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/31 "2000-07-13T21:08:31Z")
“The other incident” is a reference to my first post in this thread. The incident for which I was arrested and acquitted is named in my short list, but I’ve already given enough information, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/32 "2000-07-13T21:12:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rachelle \* > \*\*I ripped the tags off my mattresses! Does that count? \*\* Hey **Rachelle,** sorry to say this, but that is 50 years hard time with no chance of parole, and also, there are rewards to people that turn you in dead or alive. Now, if you’ll just give me your address!!! :):):):)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/33 "2000-07-13T21:19:20Z")
Easy oldie…I am a big fan of the origianl Man in Black. Glad to hear you are a fan though. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/34 "2000-07-13T21:29:30Z")
Good to hear it ChrisP good to hear it. I thing disliking Johhny might be the greatest crime of all. ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/35 "2000-07-13T21:40:53Z")
Some developers had just started tearing up the forest I used to play in as a kid, and I got pissed. It was a really pretty area, and they were putting in xerox housing. (Make one blueprint, photocopy and fit big houses on tiny lots.) Anyways, a buddy of mine and I went through all the houses as they were being constructed, slashing wires, breaking boards and windows, and generally mucking the place up. He got caught, and I made him take the fall. The last time I ever drove drunk, I managed to get myself stuck going the wrong way on a freeway at 2am. Last time I ever will drive drunk. I still thank the dieties that be that I didn’t crash or pass a cop. The sad thing is, the interchange there was so bad, I almost did the same thing the next day stone cold sober. It was under construction, and there were no lines or anything whatsoever. Just a couple cones that had been knocked around and so could be interpreted in many creative ways. ---
**Author:** ![Rock-n-Rolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/22d042/32.png) [@Rock-n-Rolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock-n-Rolga)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/36 "2000-07-13T21:51:52Z")
I think the official charge was inciting a riot… …at **DENNY’S**! ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/37 "2000-07-13T22:06:37Z")
Guilty of instances too numerous to count of a victimless crime: Carried a concealed handgun illegally so, oh I don’t know, I wouldn’t be raped, sodomized or killed when there wasn’t the smiling, friendly policeman within easy reach? Better lock me up quick, I’m obviously a menace to society! And here in KC, which if you’ve never seen a map, the “city” is in fact made up of numerous small suburbs all stuck together. Each one has a different law completely on how you can even legally carry a gun from place to place. For example, in Olathe I can have it in the front of the car, but not within reach of the driver. In the county outside of Olathe, I can have it in the front and within reach. Drive 1 mile further to Lenexa, and it must be locked in the trunk. Drive a little further and it must be unloaded and locked, but not necessarily in the trunk. But I’m not even sure anymore, because the laws are worded so vaguely you can’t tell. I asked the Lenexa police department **in person** where I could legally carry my guns, and they said “well, it all depends on whether the DA likes you or not, or how shady a character you are, miss”! Yup, that selectively applied arbitrary justice is great, huh? So as you drive from home to work, you are: Law-abiding for 5 blocks. Criminal for 20 blocks. Law-abiding for about 10 blocks. Criminal for 18 blocks. You get the picture? Isn’t “Home Rule” great? Una ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/38 "2000-07-13T22:31:46Z")
Speeding should not count as a crime. Sorry. That said I’ve been know to smuggle drugs across international borders. But not in a long, long time. ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/39 "2000-07-13T22:46:39Z")
Ummmm, I was kind of embarrassed to contemplate my few incidences of shop-lifting (nothing over $5), but now I’m embarrassed in the opposite direction. I didn’t realize the board was home to so many criminal masterminds . . . And Tymp, you’re just scaring me. What must you have done that has such a long statute of limitations?! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/40 "2000-07-13T23:09:12Z")
I dubbed the library’s copy of “Bambi.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457.md?page=3)