# The Worst crime I have ever committed is.....

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 13, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457 "2000-07-13T18:05:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![light\_strand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a6a055/32.png) [@light\_strand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/light_strand)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/41 "2000-07-13T23:20:06Z")

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Two friends of mine and I got pulled over in Detroit by 10 marked cars, 6 unmarked cars, and the Chief of Police. An EXTREMELY impressive display!

It’s a long story. However, we didn’t get arrested, but escorted out of the city.  
Lesson learned:

NEVER, I repeat NEVER, toast the Chief of Police for the city of Detroit with a bottle of vodka from a moving car. Even if he DOES look like he’s having a good time!

Oh and I spent the night in jail once.

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**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/42 "2000-07-14T00:06:28Z")

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While in College I was part of a group responsible for 63 bodies that were dumped in approximately 1 acre of land.

I even have pictures!

Osip

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**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/43 "2000-07-14T00:09:08Z")

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Oh wow, I feel pretty good about myself then. Thanks guys and gals. Ummmm the bodies thing…what can I say…wow

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/44 "2000-07-14T00:16:42Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Osip \*  
> \*\*I even have pictures!  
> \*\*

Can I see 'em? 😃

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**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/45 "2000-07-14T01:11:42Z")

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When I get around to scanning them I do not see why not… but some are quite gruesome.  
also in case you wondering. I have never served in the military. I was in Tennesse at the time _evil grin_

Osip

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**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/46 "2000-07-14T02:35:37Z")

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**Osip** - the Body Farm? (I currently reside in Tennessee).

StG

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**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/47 "2000-07-14T03:13:04Z")

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We’re talking crime here, right? Not silly shit?  
I stole some petty cash from a church when I was a kid. It was a baptist church, so maybe it doesn’t count. 😉  
A couple cars. (For joyriding)  
Copper wire from new construction.  
Sex with a minor. (Me 19, her 17)  
Fraud against very old dollar bill changers. Want details?  
Went to juvie at 17, scared the shit outta me. Been too 🆒 for crime ever since.  
Well, except for with Julie. Doesn’t count either.  
Oh, and drugs. 99% mj. Love that stuff.  
Peace,  
mangeorge (Feels better)

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**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/48 "2000-07-14T03:29:58Z")

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mangeorge: in most states, sex w/ a minor is legal if the age difference is only 2 or 3 years (varies state by state). Thought I was on the “victem” end of that one a while back; found out later I wasn’t.

I also shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, but then I blinked, and had to shoot another.

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**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/49 "2000-07-14T03:48:22Z")

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Aside from the off-mentioned shoplifting:  
Various drug related offenses  
Concealed weapons (only a couple times)  
Locally mandated sex offenses (I enjoyed it, too)  
Assault and Battery (only once, I swear)  
Harbored fugitives (just two)

So you see, I’m practically lily-white!

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/50 "2000-07-14T03:55:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by mangeorge \*  
> \*\*Went to juvie at 17, scared the shit outta me.  
> \*\*

What kind of “juvie”? I went to kiddie prison (yes, prison, as in lock down, toilet in your room, strip search, room checks every 10 minutes or so, and inspection after every meal–to make sure that the plastic spoon and fork you were given are still intact so you can’t kill yourself with them–the staff treated you like a criminal [which, of course you were, but they were very unkind and much more rude than they needed to be]) when I was 14 years old.

But the first time I was ever taken away from my home, I was locked up in a place called the [insert county name here]County Youth Shelter. Which is no punishment. You have a teacher come in for three hours a day for “school”, got to sit around and play cards or sega all day, had a straight-from-Germany cook who prepared the best meals I have ever had, and the staff were so extremely laid back, you’d swear they were your best friend.

There are many different kinds of kiddie jail. Be more specific please.

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**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/51 "2000-07-14T04:35:47Z")

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I shot Kennedy.

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**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/52 "2000-07-14T04:59:30Z")

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Back in 1985-86, while in college, I had a good friend who sold ectasy. Actually he supplied dealers. It became illegal in summer of 1985, and it was probably never totally legal to distribute it in a dealer fashion. I never dealt. I lived by myself and kept my partying to other peoples places. So I kept his supply, with a small cut of the profits plus subsidized partying.

Anyway, one afternoon I was driving down a road with more than a personal supply in my vehicle. Totally sober, but without my wallet or drivers licence, the only time in my life I ever ran into a police stop point. They asked for my drivers licence, I did not have it. I did remember my number and told them. The officer gave me a ticket for no licence (actually a warning, I had to go to the station and show them my licence). That and hanging out at the Stark Club in Dallas with illegal substances in 86 perilously close to the time there was a huge bust were the closest to having to spend a few months in jail.

The dealer friend quit when his supplier got busted. He is now a succesful regional manager for a legitamite company.

Thinking about it now, DAMN! How stupid!!

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**Author:** ![seriousart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@seriousart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seriousart)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/53 "2000-07-14T05:23:56Z")

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I once got pulled over by one squad car and then pinned in by 2 more for stealing my own car.

It’s my car, officer.  
It’s been reported stolen.  
I know. I reported it. I also reported it found.  
Where’s your registration?  
I can’t find it… Look, if I was going to steal a car, I sure as Hell wouldn’t have stolen a #%$@ '87 Olds Omega!

This interogation process went on for about a 45 minutes at 4 in the morning.  
No arrests though, thankfully.

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**Author:** ![SarumanRex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@SarumanRex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SarumanRex)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/54 "2000-07-14T07:47:32Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by friedo \*  
> \*\*I shot Kennedy. \*\*

I was on the grassy knoll but my gun jammed…Dammit. 😃

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**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/55 "2000-07-14T11:33:51Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by StGermain \*  
> \*\ ***Osip** - the Body Farm? (I currently reside in Tennessee).
> 
> StG \*\*

_Bells and Whistles going of_ We have a winner Folks.  
Yes I was a student at The Anthropological Research Field for a sememster. Or, Bass’s Anthroplogical Research Field (B.A.R.F) Guess, I owe you a beer St G.

Osip

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**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/56 "2000-07-14T12:42:09Z")

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I don’t tell people this, but my worst crime would be DWI. I was pulled over after a party and was only a mile from my house. I lied and told the officer I was just tired (even though I was covered in food and beer from a food fight). I was SO lucky he didn’t give me a ticket. It was so obvious I was wasted. I think the officer knew my dad, though, which is probably why he let me go. And my family never found out.

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/57 "2000-07-14T12:51:11Z")

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Shoplifting food when I was homeless, jobless,  
penniless and hungry (never got caught).

Marijuana and LSD. Big deal.

Oddly, I’ve never been drunk in public. I  
was a private wino, but never drove, drunk  
or sober.

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**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/58 "2000-07-14T13:28:03Z")

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DWI’s, only 2 of which I got caught for.

In ASAP classes I had to take, we learned that the average DWI suspect has driven drunk 75 times for every one time he is caught. Sadly, I think this is very true.

Once in DC, after tying several on in upper Georgetown, I blew through a stop light on 15th St NW, near the White House. A cop pulled me over right away, but all he had me do was park my car on one of the Ellipse’s access roads, lock my key in the car, and find another way home. Since the subway was closed and I didn’t have enough cash for a cab, this meant a 4 mile walk to my office to sleep it off. Fortunately, I had a key there and went back in the morning to get it.

Although I’m thankful that I didn’t get prosecuted for that incident, it’s rather sad when the DC Police have to dismiss “lesser” crimes because of all the violent crimes that do occur.

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**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/59 "2000-07-14T14:14:08Z")

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I really have lead a sheltered life.  
Only a couple of assult charges that were dropped when we got to court. I was a security guard, they got beat up (by me of course)when they broke a local by-law.

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**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\
**Post date:** [July 15, 2000, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-crime-i-have-ever-committed-is/25457/60 "2000-07-15T00:01:49Z")

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It was a kiddie prison, in 1962, **Silver\_Fire**. Just as you describe. I had a lot of trouble handling being locked up, and being told what to do. Still do.  
Did you learn the “Toilet Telegraph”? 🙂  
Peace,  
mangeorge

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