# The Worst Movie Critic in America **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 25, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527 "2014-03-25T15:47:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/21 "2014-03-25T17:29:01Z")
> [@MovieMogul](#): > > Really? Because when I hit “View Comments”, they come up blank. Did you go to the bottom of each review? ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/22 "2014-03-25T17:33:07Z")
It looks like “movie reviews via Mad Libs.” Exact same format, practically copy-and-pasted form text with just the names changed. Frankly, based on the scant information contained within each “review,” (which could be acquired from Wikipedia) I’m skeptical she’s actually seen _any_ of these movies. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/23 "2014-03-25T17:35:27Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > I think she’s a robot. The review in the OP does read like text grabbed by a bot. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/24 "2014-03-25T17:35:53Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Wow. Those read like a book report by a 10 year old. > > ETA: > That’s one hell of a ninja **pulykamel**! Wow. Even down to the grade, pretty much (4th grade generally being 9 or 10 years old). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/25 "2014-03-25T17:39:48Z")
Undoubtedly this is a plot by the Tribune to bring scorn upon bloggers and protect the Trib’s fading income. I’ve seen better writing from drunks reviewing Chipotle on TripAdvisor. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/26 "2014-03-25T17:46:49Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > The review in the OP does read like text grabbed by a bot. Actually, you’re right. The OP evokes both 4th grade book report and the results of a natural language processing grad student working on an algorithm for automated review generation. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/27 "2014-03-25T17:56:30Z")
Well, modern movies seem written by computer, modern reviews should follow. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/28 "2014-03-25T17:57:06Z")
Bot, snot. I like the succinctness. “This had more action. … It had non-stop action.” Now, you can’t get more action than non-stop action, can you? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/29 "2014-03-25T18:03:01Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Steve Rogers Captain America lives in the modern world. He must battle things from the past including the Winter Soldier. Will he succeed? Will he be able to handle the present mixed with the past? > > > > I have to say I did enjoy this Captain America better than the first Captain America Use the _Moose-And-Squirrel_ accent, it’s a Soviet-era report on a worthy opponent! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/30 "2014-03-25T18:05:20Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > Bot, snot. I like the succinctness. “This had more action. … It had non-stop action.” > > Now, you can’t get more action than non-stop action, can you? Heh, that’s like a Carlin or Seinfeld routine. _If the action’s non-stop, where would you put any more action!_ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/31 "2014-03-25T18:13:09Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > Bot, snot. I like the succinctness. “This had more action. … It had non-stop action.” > > Now, you can’t get more action than non-stop action, can you? > [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Heh, that’s like a Carlin or Seinfeld routine. _If the action’s non-stop, where would you put any more action!_ “I saw on HBO, they were advertising this boxing match. They said ‘it’s a fight to the finish.’ That’s a good place to end.” - Mitch Hedberg ---
**Author:** ![Srsly\_Dad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@Srsly\_Dad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Srsly_Dad)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/32 "2014-03-25T18:13:43Z")
> [@](#): > > I have to say I did enjoy this Captain America better than the first Captain America: The First Avenger. Wait - there was a second _Captain America: The First Avenger_ movie? Why would they make two movies with the same title? I am absolutely amazed at how poorly she can write. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/33 "2014-03-25T18:17:26Z")
Oh my… I don’t have the words. (But then again, neither does Sarah) > [@](#): > > In Non-stop Bill(Liam Neeson) is an air marshal. Agent Marenick(Shea Whigham) worked with Bill. Anson Mount(Jack Hammond) worked with Bill. Jen(Julianne Moore) is the passenger that seats next to Bill. Tom(Scoot McNairy), Nancy(Michelle Dockery), Nate Parker(Zack White), Austin(Corey Stall) are all passengers or workers on the plane. But how do Tom, Nancy, Nate and Austin relate to Bill? Are they Bill-adjacent? I may watch the movie if only to find out the answers to these burning questions. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/34 "2014-03-25T18:18:06Z")
Heh. “Black Widow(Scarlet Johanseen).” She makes Mick LaSalle look like William Faulkner. ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/35 "2014-03-25T18:23:37Z")
I haven’t seen “American Hustle” yet, but I suspect it’s worth more than [one star](http://www.chicagonow.com/sarah-takes-on-movies/2013/12/movie-review-american-hustle/) To quote Sarah: “The costumes were great but the acting was pretty bad. I should have known by Christian Bale being in this movie.” Uh, sure. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/36 "2014-03-25T18:33:09Z")
About Sarah: > [@](#): > > Hey I’m Sarah. Born and raised in Chicago. I love watching the newest movies before they officially come out. Well, she’s certainly qualified to write movie reviews. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/37 "2014-03-25T18:34:49Z")
Perhaps this is deliberate trolling. Maybe they figured they’d get more hits on their site by writing deliberately terrible reviews. ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/38 "2014-03-25T18:39:48Z")
In her [Veronica Mars](http://www.chicagonow.com/sarah-takes-on-movies/2014/03/veronica-mars/) review, the possessive of Mars is “Mar’s”. Thrice. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Evil\_Prince\_Zorte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@The\_Evil\_Prince\_Zorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Evil_Prince_Zorte)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/39 "2014-03-25T18:39:50Z")
I suspect comments may be getting deleted. You can sense she was really excited by the Veronica Mars movie because it looks like she might have spent 10 minutes on the review instead of 5, but probably still wrote it on her iPhone while sitting in the theater. I think she might have a touch of ADD, or plagued by the sort of distraction that was a problem for the dogs in UP whenever they encountered squirrels as evidenced by this paragraph. Snacks are her weakness of course, not squirrels- > [@](#): > > I would say as a true dedicated fan that I enjoyed the film something that was a long time coming for me. Marshmallows you will be happy to see the cast of Veronica Mars again up on the big screen this time. The fans raised 5.7 million dollars for this film to be made. I think the key to all of this is the blurb under her picture- > [@](#): > > Hey I’m Sarah. Born and raised in Chicago. I love watching the newest movies before they officially come out. “My friend who works for the newspaper said you can see movies for free before anyone else and all you have to do is write something about them. She is getting me a pass that I can show to get into the screenings!” Just wait until she starts attending junkets. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/40 "2014-03-25T18:46:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Hey I’m Sarah. Born and raised in Chicago. I love watching the newest movies before they officially come out. So those rumors about all the newest movies being secretly gay are true. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527.md?page=3)