# The Worst Movie Critic in America **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 25, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527 "2014-03-25T15:47:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/61 "2014-03-25T22:11:20Z")
> [@drm](#): > > I was about to ask people to take it easy on some 15 year old making a post. After all, some people come into their own later than others. Apparently, she has a BA in photography. Carry on. Well you _know_ she didn’t major in English or journalism. > [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Hahahahahah. > > I love that the state of the thread is that she could be > > [ol] > [li]13[/li][li]retarded[/li][li]both[/li][/ol] You forgot bot. ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/62 "2014-03-25T22:14:06Z")
She “likes” every single one of her own Facebook posts. [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/sarahtakesonthemovies) ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/63 "2014-03-26T04:20:18Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > I keep hearing these reviews in Dr. Steve Brule’s voice. - Hi Im doctor Steve Brule aand today I watched the movie RoboCop. I have to say I did like the original RoboCop better. I thought the first half of the remake was slow and boring. The second part was NON STOP ACTION! VIOLENCE! and kept you interested. I like that Buster Keaton got to act as a bad guy. The part of Samuel el Jack’s son dragged on as the news guy. Gary Old Man did a good job playing the scientist. Overall I would say it was an okay movie. Nothing special there. Just go see it, ya dingus! For your health!\* ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/64 "2014-03-26T04:54:41Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I’ve heard 4th grade, I’ve heard review bots, but perhaps they’re just bad translations? > > Here’s my scenario as to how Sarah got her job… > > “Hey, I found a girl who can write reviews for $10/week, 4 movies a week.” > “Sign her up.” > “Wait… I was joking. This kid is Nigerian and she, Saria, just arrived…” > “I don’t care. $10/week? I’ll look great come bonus time. Sign her up, NOW. We can always get Google to translate the rough patches.” > “We get bonuses? But our business is dying…” > “Want me to find somebody to do your job for $15 a week?” > :gulp: “Er, no.” > “Then shut up about bonuses and don’t let it get back to me! And, uh, we’ll call her ‘Sarah’. Oh, stop worrying - nobody will tell the difference!” I think they’re overpaying her by around twelve dollars a week. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/65 "2014-03-26T11:05:42Z")
Wait, she’s getting paid? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/66 "2014-03-26T12:04:03Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Here’s my scenario as to how Sarah got her job… > > “Hey, I found a girl who can write reviews for $10/week, 4 movies a week.” She’s not paying them enough. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/67 "2014-03-26T13:43:52Z")
Probably not. Honestly, I don’t know if she’s getting paid, but when I wrote that it was under the (now mistaken) assumption that she has the same job that Gene Siskel once had. Apparently she’s just a bad blogger. Why doesn’t **Equipoise** go for that job? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/68 "2014-03-26T14:10:34Z")
Y’know, having read a couple of her entries, I’m calling bullshit and shenanigans on this one. This is a put-on. It’s too self-aware. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/69 "2014-03-26T14:24:20Z")
Now I’m starting to feel bad for her, you guys are a bunch of meanies. Anyway, I have a friend who is a bonafide movie critic (inasmuch as anyone is bonafide these days, but he does do it professionally, it’s been his calling since he was a kid and he posts reviews on Efilmcritic and Ebert’s site among other places). His reply was that he was impressed since Captain America isn’t screening in Chicago until today and the Other Woman won’t screen for another month. That was one of the things I was wondering about since I had only started seeing ads for it in the past couple days (and so far, it looks awful, but maybe it has nonstop action. It may have plenty of laughs. Cameron Diaz (woman) and Leslie Mann (another woman) may be great fun together). So how is Sarah seeing movies before they come out? In any case, yeah she’s pretty bad but maybe she’ll improve along the way, though it appears the cards are stacked against her in this case. Kind of makes me want to start a blog there because I know I could do it better. ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/70 "2014-03-26T15:13:53Z")
I’ll have you know that “Sarah” is the pure, authentic voice of the mainstream majority, unpolluted by ivory-tower pretensions and doubletalk. Like Joe the Plumber, a true working class hero who speaks humble yet devastating truths to power. It’s so typical that all the effete snobbish elites in this thread are quaking in their boots and desperately trying to discredit a voice like hers. Those efforts will fail miserably, as they always do. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/71 "2014-03-26T15:19:07Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > In any case, yeah she’s pretty bad but maybe she’ll improve along the way, though it appears the cards are stacked against her in this case. The Other Woman is her 68th movie review. She’s been doing this for a full year. Here is her first. You tell me what progress she’s made. > [@](#): > > The Croods was a funny and entertaining movie, I definitely enjoyed it and would recommend you check it out. I really have nothing bad to say about this movie. It kept me interested and not wanting to leave the theater to see what happens next. This movie takes you on a comedic family adventure so hold on! Kids at heart and kids alike will enjoy this movie. The movie has really good 3D not your typical 3D that they just throw in. This will be another hit for DreamWorks. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/72 "2014-03-26T15:23:11Z")
Why would she have to leave the theater to see what happens next?? ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/73 "2014-03-26T15:25:10Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > The Other Woman is her 68th movie review. She’s been doing this for a full year. > > Here is her first. You tell me what progress she’s made. Well I did say that the cards are stacked against her. 🆒 On top of that, her reviews could easily be written after reading the movie’s summary on IMBD. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/74 "2014-03-26T15:25:55Z")
If we’re going to do that thing where we ignore the intended meaning of her sentences for the ‘logical’ parsing, we’re going to be here for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/75 "2014-03-26T15:45:08Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > Y’know, having read a couple of her entries, I’m calling bullshit and shenanigans on this one. This is a put-on. It’s too self-aware. I suspect this as well. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/76 "2014-03-26T15:51:36Z")
I swear to God I’m going to pistol whip the next guy who says, “Shenanigans.” ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/77 "2014-03-26T15:55:12Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I swear to God I’m going to pistol whip the next guy who says, “Shenanigans.” Is “tomfoolery” OK? ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/78 "2014-03-26T16:04:28Z")
> [@BlackKnight](#): > > Perhaps this is deliberate trolling. Maybe they figured they’d get more hits on their site by writing deliberately terrible reviews. Ah, the Jennifer Rubin approach. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/79 "2014-03-26T16:08:14Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > Is “tomfoolery” OK? No, because that opens the door for terms like “gumption”, and that’s where I’m gonna have to start to killin’. And while I’m making demands that no one is going to obey, please stop posting excerpts from Sarah’s reviews. I get two lines in and can physically feel my brains draining out my ears. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527/80 "2014-03-26T16:21:02Z")
Could this be intentional without being satire? Could she possibly be dumbing it down because she thinks that her audience can’t read higher at higher than a fourth grade (heck, I’d say kindergarten) level? Is she maybe the ESL movie critic? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-movie-critic-in-america/684527.md?page=5)