# The Worst Pizza You Ever Ate **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 1, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227 "2001-09-01T00:38:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![maryliza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dfb087/32.png) [@maryliza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maryliza)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/21 "2001-09-03T09:54:32Z")
Stone Willy’s Pizza. University of Chicago. The school had implemented a new meal-plan which was mandatory for freshmen. It consisted of x number of meals per week, plus “flex dollars” which were to be spent in the student club building, which was supposed to have a deli, some fast food places and other assorted dining choices. Except that the student club building wasn’t finished and there was nowhere to use flex dollars except at a student café. Try spending 300 dollars on Snapple and muffins within the course of a year. It’s surprisingly hard to do. To make up for it, the school created a pizza delivery service, called Stone Willy’s. (No, I’m not kidding.) The pizza was awful, terrible, beyond bad. Not to mention you got your pizza at least an hour and a half after ordering it, and your order was always wrong. A miserable experience for everyone. Stone Willy’s, fer cryin’ out loud. What were they thinking??? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/22 "2001-09-03T10:27:12Z")
I had a shrimp pizza in a cafe on Pine Island, Florida. It tasted like vulture-regurgitated road kill that had been soaked in cod liver oil and cat urine. I don’t remember the monetary cost, but in trauma it was enormous. ---
**Author:** ![buddy1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@buddy1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddy1)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/23 "2001-09-03T13:32:51Z")
…is the worst excuse for pizza-I tried them twice-both times it was horrible! The sauce is tasteless, the cheese is like melted plastic, and the box probably would taste better than the crust! How do they sell this awful crap?=Well, nobody ever went broke understimating the taste of the American public! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/24 "2001-09-03T14:51:21Z")
… and decide to order one of the wonderful $3.99 10inch pizzas from Gumby’s Pizzeria - it will be the nastiest pizza experience in your life. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/25 "2001-09-03T15:08:29Z")
Although this one can’t match the impressive flights of eloquence in earlier posts, I have a special reason for citing it. Taormina is the most touristy town in Sicily. That means it has the loveliest views but the worst food. On a terrace cafe I ordered pizza for lunch and got — well, tasteless, tough cardboard as you all know so well; the flavor of freezer burn overpowered everything else. What made it so painful was that in Sicily, the home of pizza, you’d expect better, fer Chrissake. This is in line with the worst Turkish coffee I ever had was in Istanbul. And I had to wait over a half hour for it! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/26 "2001-09-03T22:25:46Z")
**THE BEEF THIEF** in California. 20+ years ago, my parents, brother, and I had the misfortune of partaking of this “restaurant.” In addition to steak, they had pizza, which they made by smearing the thickest, most congealed tomato paste you’ve ever seen onto the crust, and then laying **slices** of white cheese-looking stuff on top of it. (Not grated mozarella. **Sliced** mozarella. They might as well have been using processed American cheese food.) One of my family members got physically ill from eating there that night. Still … it wasn’t as bland as Little Caesar’s… ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/27 "2001-09-04T00:01:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anamorphic \* > \*\*There’s a chain here in So. Cal. called Shakey’s (might be in other places as well, I’m not sure). I had the extrememe misfortune of accidently walking into one of these places and ordering pizza and giving them some of my hard-earned money and then sitting down and actually consuming said pizza. > > Gack. By far, the worst pizza, perhaps some of the worst food-stuff I’ve ever had. Far worse than any high-school cafeteria pizza, far worse than any cheap frozen pizza. It was like bad goverment cheese slightly melted on a strip of flavored cardboard. > > I don’t remember how much the pizza was. I’ve blocked as much of the experience from my mind as I can. But the thing that boggles my mind is, these Shakey’s places are freakin’ EVERYWHERE! Which means people actually eat there enough to not only keep the place in business, but enough to give them motivation to open more of these ‘restaurants’. \*\* Dude! Put down that crack-pipe and check out the Shakey’s in Redlands (where I grew up), that Shakey’s has some of the best pizza I’ve ever had! As far as worst goes? A long time back, I recall pulling into a joint called “Straw Hat Pizza” late at night while on a road trip. Horrible. Horrible. Terrible. Nauseating. A must-have for masochists everywhere! -Ashley ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/28 "2001-09-04T00:33:13Z")
Time- Mid 1980’s Place- Oak Ridge, Tennessee Store- Pizza Hut Subject- Phoney Pepperoni [sub]cool name for a band, huh?[/sub] My family & I went for a Sunday drive, out to Oak Ridge. We stopped at Pizza Hut for lunch. We ordered Italian Sausage. Simple, right? _WRONG! WRONG! DOUBLEGOLDANG WRO_N_G!!!_\*\* :mad: THERE WAS NO SAUSAGE ON THAT PIZZA! IT WAS… _ **HOT DOG!!!** _ Chopped hot dog. Bleagh. 😛 The manager _insisted_ it was real sausage. Hot dog is not good on pizza. Bleagh. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/29 "2001-09-04T02:20:31Z")
The worst pizza anywhere on God’s green Earth is at Chuck E. Cheeses. Blech! Really bad! And I’m not fussy! Luckily the only few times an adult has to experience this missery is when some friend/relatives brat has a party there. Second worst pizza I ever had was at a McDonalds in Madison,Wisconsin. It was the first time I every saw a Micky Dee’s have pizza, so I tried one. Yuck! Like raw ape puke on a soggy soda cracker! ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/30 "2001-09-04T02:41:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elmwood \* > **Ontario. Anywhere in Ontario. Oh my God, the pizza is horrible across the border. You would think that the pizzerias in the Niagara Peninsula and Toronto would learn some lessons** Interesting… are you really under the impression that the city with the third-largest Italian population in the world (only Rome and Milan have more) doesn’t have good pizza? Sounds more like next to no experience, to me. And, I’ve eaten in Buffalo dozens of times. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by pkbites_ > \*\*The worst pizza anywhere on God’s green Earth is at Chuck E. Cheeses. Blech! Really bad! \*\* _That_ I gotta agree with! My kids, unfortunately, like that terrible place. ---
**Author:** ![Opus1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/858c86/32.png) [@Opus1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opus1)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/31 "2001-09-04T02:54:49Z")
I had pizza in Japan once with no sauce. Just cheese on bread, with a small bowl of tomato slices on the side. What, am I supposed to lift up the cheese, insert the tomato slice, and eat? ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/32 "2001-09-04T03:05:38Z")
I don’t eat pizza very often, but I do remember one unfortunate trip to Pizza Hut when I was about ten years old. They were advertising a pizza called the “Ultimate Pepperoni Pizza” or something like that, and the commercials, needless to say, showed it covered with so much pepperoni that you couldn’t even see the cheese. Of course, when we ordered one, it had a grand total of three pepperonis. We never went there again. The pizza in my college dining hall is also rather repulsive. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/33 "2001-09-04T03:18:12Z")
The second-worst pizza ever had (for my orst, ee above) was in a Boston pub. It’s gone through many changes of ownership since, so I won’t give the name. If the still have pizzas, they can’t be any worse. The quality as best summed up by my friend, who shared it with me: “This tastes like a matzoh with ketchup on it.” ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/34 "2001-09-04T15:18:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ashtar \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Anamorphic \* > > \*\*There’s a chain here in So. Cal. called Shakey’s (might be in other places as well, I’m not sure). I had the extrememe misfortune of accidently walking into one of these places and ordering pizza and giving them some of my hard-earned money and then sitting down and actually consuming said pizza. > > > > Gack. By far, the worst pizza, perhaps some of the worst food-stuff I’ve ever had. Far worse than any high-school cafeteria pizza, far worse than any cheap frozen pizza. It was like bad goverment cheese slightly melted on a strip of flavored cardboard. > > > > I don’t remember how much the pizza was. I’ve blocked as much of the experience from my mind as I can. But the thing that boggles my mind is, these Shakey’s places are freakin’ EVERYWHERE! Which means people actually eat there enough to not only keep the place in business, but enough to give them motivation to open more of these ‘restaurants’. \*\* > > Dude! Put down that crack-pipe and check out the Shakey’s in Redlands (where I grew up), that Shakey’s has some of the best pizza I’ve ever had! > > As far as worst goes? A long time back, I recall pulling into a joint called “Straw Hat Pizza” late at night while on a road trip. Horrible. Horrible. Terrible. Nauseating. A must-have for masochists everywhere! > > -Ashley \*\* No crack pipe to be put down. Okay, I will admit I could’ve possibly hit a bad Shakey’s on an off-day. But I answered the question honestly; it was by far the worst pizza I’ve ever eaten, and it was so bad, I’m never going to chance another Shakey’s again! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/35 "2001-09-04T22:31:53Z")
Oh, gods. Get **Nen and dpr** in here. They can back me up on this one. In the lovely Bucktown neighborhood in Chi there’s a place called Lou Lou’s. It’s owned by the same people that own the Bar Louie’s and other restaurants, for those that want to know. Fairly standard menu, burgers, pastas and pretty good pizza. Usually. We ordered…jeez, what WAS on that thing? It had balsamic/fig jam for a base, I think. Some kind of meat…gorgonzola. It was HIDEOUS! Absolutely unpalatable. Horrid. Monster-movie pizza. The Pizza That Ate My Face. Gack. I shudder still to think of it. We all had one bite, except for Nen. That dear, brave soul had two. A few weeks later I was talking to the manager and asked about it. He said that lots of people order it and love it. Apparently we have childish taste buds. Some people like puking in each other’s mouths, too. Not Mrs. Sys daughter, though. Nuh-uh. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/36 "2001-09-11T04:35:43Z")
“Why Pay More” brand frozen pizza, for 99 cents. Why, indeed? I have to be wary when getting pizza with my sister. She invariably wants pizza where the cheese is three times thicker than the crust. And it’s not a regional thing, either: she’s done this in three different states. One, that we got near Top Of the World, in eastern PA, lodged in my throat. I got up, gagging, and had to pull it out of my mouth by hand; then I couldn’t eat any more. Also, I really appreciated my brother-in-law imitating me the next night. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2001, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227/37 "2001-09-11T06:39:36Z")
Nice to see Domino’s get lambasted so consistently. They _still_ stink! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-pizza-you-ever-ate/79227.md?page=1)