# The worst song of all time is....... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 8, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123 "2001-11-08T03:47:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/61 "2001-11-09T01:30:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SolomonGrundy \* > So my pick is _Oh, Yoko_ by John Lennon. \*\* Yeah, this was his weakest song on **Double Fantasy**. _Oh Yoko_ from **Imagine** was much better. ---
**Author:** ![rushtopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e47774/32.png) [@rushtopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rushtopher)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/62 "2001-11-09T03:04:39Z")
Can I nominate anything by Gary Puckett? Especially Young Girl? Young Girl get out of my mind… My love for you is way out of line… something. You’re much to younnngggg girllllll The amount of songs he has about liking too young women is a little creepy. Oh and Carly, THE SONG IS ABOUT HIM!!!1 I also happen to hate MacAurthur Park, it has to be a joke about the cake right? ---
**Author:** ![oliversarmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@oliversarmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oliversarmy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/63 "2001-11-09T03:43:05Z")
What about that damned “Pina Coloda Song.” It’s so bad, I don’t know how to spell it. ---
**Author:** ![Frank\_O.Pinion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/839c29/32.png) [@Frank\_O.Pinion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_O.Pinion)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/64 "2001-11-09T03:46:56Z")
I Am The Walrus. It’s just wierd, and it makes no sense. It actually creeps me out a little, and I don’t go for songs that scare me. ---
**Author:** ![Rmat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85e7bf/32.png) [@Rmat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rmat)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/65 "2001-11-09T03:54:42Z")
Kids helped me here: \*\*Love Will Keep Us Together I believe in Miracles Midnight at the Oasis Mandy \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/66 "2001-11-09T04:14:04Z")
“Muskrat Love” (Captain and Tennile) […how this became a hit has always baffled me.] “Go All The Way” (The Raspberries) […I hate… nay … _despise_ this song… it’s like Disney’s “It’s A Small World” for me… I even regret typing the words because now I can hear the song and I can’t get it out of my head!!!] ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/67 "2001-11-09T04:21:41Z")
Maybe **My Ding-a-ling** by Chuck Berry. What a waste. ---
**Author:** ![king\_of\_spain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7cd45c/32.png) [@king\_of\_spain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/king_of_spain)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/68 "2001-11-09T04:33:24Z")
I’m with **Trion** and **Odieman**. Nothing else even comes close to the sheer aural pain that is “In the Year 2525.” I still remember the feeling of utter horrified fascination the first time I heard that song. However, although it’s nowhere close to Worst of All Time, it does my heart good to see I’m not the only one who hates the Pina Colada song. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/69 "2001-11-09T05:05:38Z")
OK, this squarely falls under the “novelty” category, but I can’t let it pass. The public radio show “This American Life” did a show called “Numbers” a few years back. One of the segments is about two people who first conducted a poll on what characteristics people like and dislike about paintings - then attempted to create a painting that, statistically speaking, almost everyone should love, and another one that everyone should completely hate. They then did the same thing with music. From their [web site](http://www.diacenter.org/km/musiccd.html): > [@](#): > > The most unwanted music is over 25 minutes long, veers wildly between loud and quiet sections, between fast and slow tempos, and features timbres of extremely high and low pitch, with each dichotomy presented in abrupt transition. The most unwanted orchestra was determined to be large, and features the accordion and bagpipe (which tie at 13% as the most unwanted instrument), banjo, flute, tuba, harp, organ, synthesizer (the only instrument that appears in both the most wanted and most unwanted ensembles). An operatic soprano raps and sings atonal music, advertising jingles, political slogans, and “elevator” music, and a children’s choir sings jingles and holiday songs. The most unwanted subjects for lyrics are cowboys and holidays, and the most unwanted listening circumstances are involuntary exposure to commericals and elevator music. You can hear bits of the songs [here](http://www.thislife.org/pages/archive98.html#88). The piece starts about 10m 30s into the realaudio clip. Personally, I much prefer the “bad” song… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/70 "2001-11-09T14:15:13Z")
**Midnight at the Oasis** cracks me up. I actually own the damn thing, having run across it in some bargain bin. Whenever I play it, it gives me that familiar feeling of being in a bar that’s trying to get everybody to go home. Word Man’s **Seasons in the Sun** still tops my list. It’s lacerating my brain right now and I keep trying to make _We had joy we had fun_ end but it just goes up an octave and repeats itself. ---
**Author:** ![Infectious\_Lass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Infectious\_Lass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infectious_Lass)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/71 "2001-11-09T14:46:39Z")
**I’ve Never Been To Me** by Charmaine (I think!) as mentioned earlier, is my all time most hated song. I have mentioned on this board before that I found its “I’ve kissed princes and undressed kings but I would much rather be a poor housewife with 8 screaming brats and I would be so much more fulfilled blah blah” subtext…_bloody annoying_ **I just called to say I love you** by Stevie Wonder was another one I always hated. Horrible syrupy thing. It was number 1 in the Uk for about 7 years as well! [/slight exaggeration] Oh and **everything I do I do it for you** by Bryan Adams. Ugh! Again horrid sentimental trash. I guess all the Darrens and Sharons down the disco had it as ‘their tune’, pass the blinking sickbag! Oh and I love ‘Seasons in the Sun’ and ‘In the Year 2525’! Honestly as I have said before, I thought ‘Seasons’ was really moving and beautiful when I was a kid and I still have a soft spot for it! Yeah the guy in it does go on a little bit too much about dying though (and why is he dying? he never tells us!) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/72 "2001-11-09T14:53:53Z")
All these responses, and no one’s mentioned _House of the Rising Sun_ by the Animals? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/73 "2001-11-09T14:58:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by king of spain \* > \*\*I’m with **Trion** and **Odieman**. Nothing else even comes close to the sheer aural pain that is “In the Year 2525.” I still remember the feeling of utter horrified fascination the first time I heard that song. > \*\* With all due respect to all the folks who have cited other songs, I can’t understand how “In The Year 2525” wasn’t a unnanimous choice. That song is awful in every way a song can be awful; mind-numbingly stupid lyrics, pretentious, inadvertently hilarious vocals; a terrible tune and beat, seemingly endless and pointless repetition… I can’t imagine how a song could possibly be worse without being deliberately written as a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/74 "2001-11-09T15:07:23Z")
“I Am the Walrus”???!!! Are you kidding? That song kicked ass! That song kicked the cosmic ass of the universe! 🆒 Look, just because it was too deep or difficult for you doesn’t make it a bad song. It was sheer frickin’ genius. If it disturbed you—hey, it was meant to be disturbing. To shake you up and make you think a little. If you thought “I Am the Walrus” was too much to handle, I guess you haven’t heard “Tomorrow Never Knows.” :eek: “Oh Yoko” was a nice little love song. WTF is wrong with it? (This from a person who doesn’t find fault with anything Lennon ever did—with one exception: “Run for Your Life”:mad:). Yeah, there have been some extreme stinkers already cited here. “What’s Going On” (the Non Blondes one, _not_ the Marvin Gaye classic “What’s Goin’ On”) and “Akey (sp?) Brakey Heart” :rolleyes: are truly evil. But my personal worst of all time is (the fortunately long forgotten) “Hold the Line” by Toto. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![AndrewL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@AndrewL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndrewL)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/75 "2001-11-09T15:16:19Z")
I’ll agree with the nominations for “cats in the cradle” and “macarthur park”. Another sure candidate for worst is a son whose title I think is “Deacon Blue” or something like that by Steely Dan. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/76 "2001-11-09T15:23:11Z")
What? No mention of **My heart will go on**? ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/77 "2001-11-09T15:36:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rysdad \* > Second place goes to anything written by Steve Miller. No-talent schmuck. Nope, Rysdad, you are wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. FIRST PLACE goes to Steve Miller and his shitball-o-riffic classic-rock station staple, “The Joker”. WORST LYRICS EVER. And that fucking “Reet reeeeaarrr” guitar lick in it makes me want to stab my ears with dull # 2 pencils. Dammit, I am getting angry now just thinking about it. Also, honorable mention goes to Rod Stewart’s “If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy song”. If I have the title wrong, don’t bother correcting me because I can assure I don’t care what it’s called. In fact, most of Rod’s catalog sucks the crank. He’s definitely in my “Top five artists whose nose you’d like to break” list. I think his hair helped get him there. I don’t want top break Steve Miller’s nose, and his music is worse. Rod and his hair. ::balls up fists::: ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/78 "2001-11-09T16:36:25Z")
“Doll Parts” by Hole. This song incites me to my own personal riot. Also, anything else by Hole, Bush, Smashing Pumpkins, Britney Spears, boy bands, rap that rips off - oh, I mean samples - from good rock songs… There’s such a variety of songs from the midden heap, it’s hard to select the most putrid and vile. ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/79 "2001-11-09T17:21:05Z")
Choices, choices, so many choices **W** orst **S** ong **O** f **A** ll **T** ime * * * I’m Henry the Eighth I Am Excellent choice I give it 9.5 on the WSOAT scale Almost qualifies as Novelty, but it got heavy mainstream airplay in the 60`s * * * “Your Song” by Elton John Representative of a whole category of “song about the song” Give ‘em all 8 WSOAT points Add to the list: Jim Croce - I’ll Have to Say I Love You in a Song * * * For the lyrics and sappy melody, this is definitely a hearty 10 on the WSOAT scale Good morning, starshine, the earth says “Hello” You twinkle above us, we twinkle below Good morning, starshine, you lead us along My love and me as we sing our early morning singing song Gliddy, glup, gloopy Nibby nabby noopy La, la, la, lo, lo Sabba sibby sabba Nooby abba nabba Le, le, lo, lo Tooby ooby walla Nooby abba nabba Early morning singing song Thanks **don’t ask**. Thanks a lot. Show a little mercy, will ya? * * * Frank O – I can’t seem to find the lyrics for Toby Keith’s latest travesty. However, [http://webworld.ibusinessdot.com/cd/country/how\_do\_you\_like\_me\_now.htm](http://webworld.ibusinessdot.com/cd/country/how_do_you_like_me_now.htm) seems to dislike him: “…songs like the self-written “Die with Your Boots On” and a pointless ditty called “Country Comes to Town,” even Keith’s hard-edged baritone swaggering over flashy, high-voltage arrangements can disguise the basic lack of musical substance and creative vision. Yet on “Heart to Heart,” a tender song Keith wrote for his young son, and an exquisite story song called “New Orleans,” Keith surprises by turning in heartfelt, impassioned performances that transcend the general ordinariness that is otherwise the order of the day.” * * * Achy Breaky Heart Absolutely appalling I give it 9 WSOAT points The repugnance was compounded by the idiotic hairdo, that stupid kick/stomp and hearing it every 5 minutes. * * * \*\*Kat and reeder \*\*– Thanks for this reminder. No, really. [sub]@%@ jerks[/sub] I don’t remember disliking this song when it came out, but now I think it had to be a joke - 9.5 WSOAT points MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark All the sweet, green icing flowing down… Someone left the cake out in the rain I don’t think that I can take it 'cause it took so long to bake it And I’ll never have that recipe again Oh, no! * * * Pour Some Sugar on Me – Def Leppard Jabe – I don’t know. Sounds kind of poignant. Shame I haven’t heard it. 7.5 WSAOTs on lyrics alone (Pour some sugar on me) Ooh, in the name of love (Pour some sugar on me) C’mon fire me up (Pour your sugar on me) Oh, I can’t get enough I’m hot, sticky sweet from my head to my feet yeah (Huh!) Hey! (Huh!) Hey! (Huh!) Hey! (Huh!) Listen! Red light, yellow light, green-a-light go! Crazy little woman in a one man show Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up (Loosen up) I loosen up * * * Cracklin Rosie – Neil Diamond Definite clunker – but not annoying enough for high praise 7 WSOATs Cracklin’ Rosie, get on board We’re gonna ride till there ain’t no more to go Taking it slow Lord, don’t you know Have me a time with a poor man’s lady Hitchin’ on a twilight train Ain’t nothing there that I care to take along Maybe a song To sing when I want Don’t need to say please to no man for a happy tune Oh, I love my Rosie child She got the way to make me happy You and me, we go in style Cracklin’ Rosie you’re a store-bought woman You make me sing like a guitar hummin’ So hang on to me, girl Our song keeps runnin’ on * * * Young Girl – Gary Puckett (and the Union Gap, no less) 7 WSOATs Rushtopher – You’re right Also - This Girl Is A Woman Now Gary Puckett At Christmas WTF??? He’s starting to look like Barry Manilow here [http://www.crescentmoontalent.com/corporate/gpuckett.htm](http://www.crescentmoontalent.com/corporate/gpuckett.htm) * * * My Dingaling – Chuck Berry In the Novelty song class, I think Now this here song it ain’t so bad Prettiest little song that you ever had And those of you who will not sing must be playing with your on Ding-a-ling I beg to differ, Chuck, especially lines 1 and 2 * * * Muskrat Love – Captain & Tenille 9 WSOATs Even in their heyday, people were asking WTF? Muskrat Muskrat, candlelight Doing the town and doing it right in the evening It’s pretty pleasing Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land And they Shimmy Sam is so skinny And they whirl and they twirl and they tango Singing and jinging a jango Floating like the heavens above Looks like Muskrat Love Nibbling on bacon, chewing on cheese Sam says to Suzie Honey, would you please be my Mrs. Suzie says, yes with her kisses Now he’s tickling her fancy, rubbing her toes Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes as they wriggle Sue starts to giggle [retch] gaaaaaaaaa [/retch] * * * Infectious Lass I can’t seem to find anything on: I’ve Never Been To Me by Charmaine (I think!) as mentioned earlier, is my all time most hated song. I have mentioned on this board before that I found its “I’ve kissed princes and undressed kings but I would much rather be a poor housewife with 8 screaming brats and I would be so much more fulfilled blah blah” subtext…bloody annoying ``` Sounds detestable – I’ll give it 8.5 WSOATS on your say-so ``` * * * How about: KUNG FU FIGHTING CARL DOUGLAS Oh-oh-oh-oh… Everybody was Kung Fu fighting, those jerks were fast as lightning In fact it was a little bit fright’ning, but they fought with expert timing There was funky China men from funky Chinatown They were trapping when up, they were trapping when down It’s an ancient Chinese art, and everybody knew their part For my friend, ain’t you a stiff, then I’m kickin’ from the hip AAAAAAGGGGHHH I can’t go on! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/80 "2001-11-09T17:32:27Z")
Bryan Adams is the reason NAFTA took so long to sign. Hearing _The Best Years of our Lives_ allows my balls to pass unscathed through chickenwire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123.md?page=5)