# The worst song of all time is....... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 8, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123 "2001-11-08T03:47:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![DemonSpawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac8455/32.png) [@DemonSpawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonSpawn)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/121 "2001-11-15T14:37:04Z")
Thanks to all of you, who have now reminded me of songs that I had happily forgotten…I now have a multitude of bad songs in my ear that I can’t turn off…a choir of Whitney, Mariah, Celine…with poser metal and country in the background…BLECH! However, the one song that makes me jump up screaming from the couch and kick in the stereo is “Live it up” by Mental As Anything. It has it all: stupid lyrics, oom-pah-pah melody…if this song is on when my radio alarm goes off in the morning, the day is basically over already. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/122 "2001-11-15T16:40:34Z")
I can’t believe nobody has mentioned **Bob Dylan** yet. Gawd, I can’t STAND to hear even one second of his wretched voice! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/123 "2001-11-15T17:46:23Z")
\*The Tennessee Waltz. I was dancing with my darlin’ to the Tennessee Waltz When an old friend I happened to see. I introduced her to my darlin’ and while they were dancing, My friend stole my sweetheart from me.\* Well, Missy, if you were familiar enough with the song to be dancing to it, maybe the lyrics should have clued you to not introduce your boyfriend to any of your old running mates. Actually, my vote has to go to the late Marty Robbins, for _El Paso_. WHY does the chick run out to give a last kiss to the man who murdered her boyfriend, as he lies dying in the dirt behind Rose’s Cantina? The sequel to that song (released about twenty years later), should get an honorable mention. Thankfully, I can’t remember the name of it, but it seemed to be about a bush pilot flying over the desert of West Texas, when he is revealed to be the reincarnation of the ill-fated gunman from the first song. I might have enjoyed the song if it had ended with the ghost of Felina making him crash his plane, but it didn’t. Other honorable mentions: _Billy, Don’t be a Hero_ _Big John’s Cajun Queen_ (another sequel) _The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia_ _Tell Laura I Love Her_ _Angie Baby_ _Delta Dawn_ (congratulations, Ms Reddy, you get two) _Western Union_ just kidding, **aha** 😉 ---
**Author:** ![whatami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85f322/32.png) [@whatami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatami)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/124 "2001-11-15T18:33:23Z")
Thanks to all of you! I now have a list of 2 pages of songs that I love but forgot all about! The one song that I have not seen, and find it incredibly hard to believe no one has mentioned, unless to save the mental health of anyone in this thread is…(drum roll please) _a weemawup a weemawup a weemawup_ (cont. for 29 min.) _In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight._ ARRRRGGHHHH What have I done to myself??? ---
**Author:** ![furnishesq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/977dab/32.png) [@furnishesq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furnishesq)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/125 "2001-11-15T19:56:36Z")
I can not believe that no one has mention Gordon Lightfoot’s imfamous classic “If you could read my mind” ``` * If you could read my mind love What a tale my thoughts would tell just like a paperback novel the kind the drug store sells. . . ``` ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/126 "2001-11-16T08:56:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guy Incognito \* > \*\*Bob Seger’s “Turn the Page”. \*\* Ya know, I heard the Metallica version first, so now whenever I hear this song on the radio I find myself singing in James Hetfield’s voice: \* There I go-ah, On the road agean-ah. There I am-ah, Up on the stayaaa-gah. Here I go-ah, Playin the saong ageannn-ah. There I gohh-ahh, Turn the paaayyyy-gahhhh. \* ---
**Author:** ![andrew\_dupont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@andrew\_dupont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrew_dupont)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/127 "2001-11-16T10:45:40Z")
quote: _“Bad, Bad Leroy Brown” and what appears to be the same song, “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim,” both by Jim Croce._ ::sheds a tear:: Dude, don’t EVEN talk about Jim Croce. He was killed in a helicopter crash, so all of his music automatically kicks ass. No, really, his entire “Photographs and Memories” album is _verboten_. Off-limits. Cool stuff. I’m troubled to hear some of the coolest songs ever get hosed on (about half of them in one single post), but _My Heart Will Go On_ and ANYTHING by Barbra Streisand tie in my book for WORST SONG EVER. ---
**Author:** ![Enuma\_Elish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5e9695/32.png) [@Enuma\_Elish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enuma_Elish)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/128 "2001-11-16T14:10:44Z")
OK, the first time I read this thread, I was going to mention ‘(she’s) havin’ my baby’ by Paul Anka. I decided not to because I don’t believe in spreading needless pain. However, since its cherry has been picked: I have hated this song for years. Dave Berry’s column showed me I wasn’t alone. Some very intelligent posters in this thread have concurred. I believe in the afterlife because I **know** I will hate this song long long long after I am dead! shudder blech I have to wash now… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/129 "2001-11-16T14:36:06Z")
_Oh, my darling **Knock three times** on the ceiling if you want me Twice on the pipe if the answer is no Oh, my sweetness Means you’ll meet me in the hallway Mmm, twice on the pipe means you ain’t gonna show_ ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/130 "2001-11-16T15:26:36Z")
There’s some old song from the fifties…can’t remember who sang it. It goes, “When you’re young and so in looooove…as weeeee And bewildered by the wooooorld…we seeeeee How can we keep love alive, How can anything survive, When these little minds tear you in twooooo…” AAGGHHHH! Make it stop! Make it stop! “Town Without Pity.” That’s what this horrible piece of…horribleness is called. And anything by Neil Diamond. I’ve always wondered, who is Rosie and why is the poor girl crackling? Can’t she get some ointment or something for that? And let’s not forget, “I love the nightlife, I want to boogie, on the disco rou-OUUUUND!” Excuse me, I think I’ll go sing “Itsy-Bitsy Spider” repeatedly with my daughter until all this goes away… ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/131 "2001-11-16T15:37:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whatami \* > \*\*_a weemawup a weemawup a weemawup_ (cont. for 29 min.) > > ARRRRGGHHHH What have I done to myself??? \*\* Ohgodno! Now it’s back in my head, and it won’t go away! My son and I were in the car. He was about 4 years old at the time. That song came on. My son has incredible verbal memory. Days and nights of “a weem a weck a weem a weck a weem a weck a weem a weck…” follow. Damn you, Tokens! Damn you all to hell! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Bee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Larry\_Bee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Bee)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/132 "2001-11-16T16:52:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dwc1970 \* > \*\*I can’t believe nobody has mentioned **Bob Dylan** yet. Gawd, I can’t STAND to hear even one second of his wretched voice! \*\* Philostine ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/133 "2001-11-16T19:44:14Z")
I hate to say it, but I LOVE a bunch of the songs named here. Love them! > [@](#): > > The Girl is mine–by M.Jackson & P.McCartney Ramona, you pinged me on that one. An audible gasp. Damn, that’s a bad one. I nominate Billy Ocean “Hey You! Get Into My Car!” What the fuck is that??? Also, Steeley Dan for “Cousin Dupree”. Total creepout. [http://www.steelydan.com/lyr2vn.html#track7](http://www.steelydan.com/lyr2vn.html#track7) "Honey how you’ve grown Like a rose Well we used to play When we were three How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree She turned my life into a living hell In those little tops and tight capris I pretended to be readin’ the National Probe As I was watchin’ her wax her skis On Saturday night she walked in with her date And backs him up against the wall I tumbled off the couch and heard myself sing In a voice I never knew I had before CHORUS I’ll teach you everything I know If you teach me how to do that dance Life is short and quid pro quo And what’s so strange about a down-home family romance? " WHAT? WHAT? WHAAAAAT? Zette ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/134 "2001-11-16T22:17:15Z")
I’ve heard that song before, but I must have convinced myself that I hadn’t. After reading all those lyrics, I’ve come to the conclusion that dude is fucked in the head. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/135 "2001-11-17T00:31:01Z")
_She ran calling Wiiiiiiiiiildfire…_ Can I suggest a current nominee? Dunno who it’s by but it’s some unspeakably lame R&B ballad (easily the worst musical genre ever IMHO) that goes “I know that he loves me because blah blah blah …” and some tripe about their first argument and how they compromised and haven’t argued since and _AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH_ I just want to grab that singer by the throat, throttle her and then tell her that “he” is actually shagging her little sister, or something, anyway… DIE! DIE! DIE! (Sorry, I just have to hear that song every day at the gym and it’s really starting to piss me off :mad: ) ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2001, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/136 "2001-11-17T13:33:28Z")
My incomplete list of my All Time Most Hated Songs. **The Little Drummer Boy** (Chistmas song, Any version, any artist) - This song is in the top spot because I hate it so much it actually makes me angry. I think a Christmas Eve nightmare would have this song as its soundtrack and include an army of alive nutcracker guys doing their stiff-legged mummy walk at me. **Brass In Pocket** , The Pretenders - I don’t know why I hate this song so much. It might be the singers voice. I think the line I hate the most is “I want some of your attention, give it to me”. Shut up, bitch. Stop begging for attention. **Song I Don’t Know The Title Of** - It might be called ‘I Know That Love Is True’ but I don’t know. It’s sung by some guy with a really annoying voice, and there is an annoying, breathy ‘Ha haha haaaaa ha’ part in it. This song makes me want to stick gum in my ears. **Another Song I Don’t Know The Title Of** - The first line goes “She’s just sixteen years old, leave her alone they saaaaaaaaay” . Yes, leave her alone you dirty old man. She’s 16, you perv. **Any and Every Song By Rush** - I’m sorry to all you people who like Rush, I hate them. Maybe I don’t ‘get it’. I don’t know. I hate Geddy Lee’s whiny voice, I hate their icky annoying songs. I hate the song Tom Sawyer most of all, but any other Rush song will also make my skin crawl. **On Broadway** , George Benson (i think) - The Less Talk/More Music station in NY used to play this oh, about 3 times a day. I especially hate the part when he says “On Broad-way-hey-hey-heeeey” and then the backup singers say (On Broadway)… ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2001, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/137 "2001-11-18T00:05:21Z")
I am a fan of Jefferson Airplane, but even they could screw up. Ever hear their song **My Best Friend**? Even the great Frank Zappa could mess up. Such songs as **Doreen, Goblin Girl** and **Fine Girl** should have never been written. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/138 "2001-11-18T00:27:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wicked Blue \* > \*\ ***Song I Don’t Know The Title Of** - It might be called ‘I Know That Love Is True’ but I don’t know. It’s sung by some guy with a really annoying voice, and there is an annoying, breathy ‘Ha haha haaaaa ha’ part in it. This song makes me want to stick gum in my ears. > > **Another Song I Don’t Know The Title Of** - The first line goes “She’s just sixteen years old, leave her alone they saaaaaaaaay” . Yes, leave her alone you dirty old man. She’s 16, you perv.\*\* The first is “True” by Spandau Ballet. I think the second one is called “Into The Night” but I can’t remember the singer’s name either. ---
**Author:** ![YWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6f9a4e/32.png) [@YWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWalker)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2001, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/139 "2001-11-18T01:53:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NutMagnet \* > \*\*------------------------------ > Infectious Lass > I can’t seem to find anything on: > I’ve Never Been To Me by Charmaine (I think!) as mentioned earlier, is my all time most hated song. I have mentioned on this board before that I found its “I’ve kissed princes and undressed kings but I would much rather be a poor housewife with 8 screaming brats and I would be so much more fulfilled blah blah” subtext…bloody annoying > > ``` > Sounds detestable – I’ll give it 8.5 WSOATS on your say-so > > ``` > > \*\* Check out the lyrics to Charlene’s “I’ve Never Been to Me” [here](http://www.clinton.net/~sammy/charln.htm), **NutMagnet** , and you may want to think about upgrading that score a bit. It gets particularly retch-worthy when she gets to the SPOKEN part of the song, but the part that really gets to me is: > [@](#): > > Sometimes I’ve been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete > But I took the sweet life, I never knew I’d be bitter from the sweet > I’ve spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free > Hey lady… > I’ve been to paradise, (I’ve been to paradise) > But I’ve never been to me (In other words, if you don’t breed, your life is useless and you’re a whore…) And for those of you who nominated “She’s Having My Baby”: I’ll agree with you that the Paul Anka version reeked, but I still laugh my head off when I remember Dr. Johnny Fever of WKRP in Cincinnati playing “She’s Having my Baby” by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123/140 "2001-11-18T02:19:19Z")
1. Theme song to “Something about Mary”. 2. “Thirty Point Buck”, a deer hunting song 3. All opera arias. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-song-of-all-time-is/92123.md?page=8)