# The worst television shows of all time. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 1, 1999, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601 "1999-09-01T18:15:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LongHrn99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e4f/32.png) [@LongHrn99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LongHrn99)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 1999, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/21 "1999-09-02T21:15:00Z")
Umm, everyone’s listed sitcoms so far, so I’m going to interject the Chevy Chase Show, the Martin Short Show, and the Magic Show all tied for crappiest attempt at a late-night type talk show. I love Chevy Chase and all, but for God’s sake, WHAT were they thinking? That’s FOX for you, though, if not for their recent cartoons plus the X-Files and Simpsons, that network would be a complete waste of electromagnetic waves. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 1999, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/22 "1999-09-02T21:32:00Z")
Guiness World Records on Fox. Is that show still on? I watched the first two episodes, and they were half-way OK. But it escalated into a freak show. And more than half the program is commercials. What garbage. Other choices: Sister-Sister. Boston Common. Married With Children. Jerry Springer. ANY soap opera. (Well, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen 'em all) ## Adam “Life is hard…but God is good” ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/23 "1999-09-03T02:18:00Z")
I just remembered this one: _Herman’s Head_ I think it was also a FOX show. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/24 "1999-09-03T02:41:00Z")
Does anyone remember a show called “Grand” that supposedly was about a family who’s fortune was in the grand piano business? It was supposed to be like a slapsticky spoof of shows like “Dallas” or something and just reeked to high heaven! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/25 "1999-09-03T04:27:00Z")
I never really realized how BAD “CHiPs” was until I saw an episode recently … oh my GOD. You can practically read the stage direction off the screen it’s so wooden. You can practically see people mouthing eachother’s lines as they anticipate their cue. Also, I always thought of the show as “the cute guy” and Ponch. Apparently the rest of the world somehow saw it the other way around, or at least the show’s producers did… they were always writing the ever-so-repulsive Ponch into all the leering-at-women scenes. Watching it again as an adult I see that John isn’t really that cute, he’s more of a goober, but he is several miles above Ponch. Now on to some other shows… Puttin’ On the Hits was an ok show, but what was that horrid MTV ripoff of it that was on for a while? They had like teams of people and they’d make them lipsynch to songs they didn’t know and all kinds of horrid things. My vote gets added here for Full House, Family Matters, and Saved by the Bell also… Do cartoons count? Smurfs. Snorks (aka “underwater smurfs”). Sailor Moon. Three’s a Crowd Roc Anything with Sinbad Who’s the Boss Whatever that spinoff of Dukes of Hazzard was called StarMan Doogie Howser, MD Barney & Friends I’ll be back when I think of more. * * * **\>^,^\<** “Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…” OpalCat’s site: [http://fathom.org/opalcat](http://fathom.org/opalcat) The Teeming Millions Homepage: [fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/26 "1999-09-03T04:45:00Z")
For the record, Married with Children is funny. I have the new worst show of all time, no contest. \Cop Rock\ ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/27 "1999-09-03T05:33:00Z")
I don’t know how I missed it before. Probably blocking out the pain. \\\\Strangers With Candy\\\\ * * * **\>^,^\<** “Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…” OpalCat’s site: [http://fathom.org/opalcat](http://fathom.org/opalcat) The Teeming Millions Homepage: [fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/28 "1999-09-03T13:24:00Z")
I don’t think anyone has come up with a show that has been worse than Small Wonder. Yes, I think practically everything on the list is bad (except for Xena Lesbian Princess). How about we try listing a top five list of these awful shows? SC ---
**Author:** ![AuraSeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/29 "1999-09-03T13:42:00Z")
**Omniscient** , you stole my trump card! Bastard! 🙂 I’ll just have to add _X-Files_ to the list instead. Of course, I’ll then have to dodge all the flames from fans who haven’t noticed the wooden dialog, repetitive storylines, and lack of anything that could ever be considered ‘acting’. (That last is not quite true; some of the extras have done good death scenes. But I have yet to see anything decent from Fox “One Facial Expression For The Past Five Years” Mulder or Dana “Don’t I Look Cute When I’m Skeptical” Scully.) * * * Of course I don’t fit in; I’m part of a better puzzle. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/30 "1999-09-03T13:59:00Z")
Omni, you putz! Damn. Years of therapy right out the freakin’ window. Steven Bochko (sp?) ought to be strung up for even pitching that concept. ---
**Author:** ![Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stevie_Rave_On)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/31 "1999-09-03T16:37:00Z")
I’d have to agree with Small wonder and Full House. BTW, didn’t the phrase “How Rude!” that Jar Jar Binks kept saying come from Full House. I think the middle sister always said it. (How do I know this, I was forced to watch this show growing up with three females and one TV) The Horror! ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/32 "1999-09-03T16:45:00Z")
> [@](#): > > The Master - An old ninja training an american guy to be a ninja… i forget why exactly, but they were always fighting crime Hey, this sounds like the series starring Lee Van Cleef and one of the Van Patten kids. It was repackaged into movies by some Japanese company and so became fair game for MST3K. If you get a chance, see the MySTified versions Master Ninja I and Master Ninja II. They’re hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 1999, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/33 "1999-09-04T05:03:00Z")
AuraSeer - If you get flamed for the XF comment, I’ll be right there with you. X-Files used to be okay, but has degenerated into “Look, an alien, Scully!” “No, it’s not, Mulder!” Someone put them out of their freaking misery! As for other bad shows… Full House Family Matters Secret Diary of Desmond Pfieffer Actually, damn near anything on UPN or WB. * * * “You have to laugh at yourself, because you’d cry your eyes out if you didn’t.” -Emily Saliers ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 1999, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/34 "1999-09-04T05:31:00Z")
I’m with you on X-Files, too; haven’t watched it in two or three years. They fell prey to the Picket Fences/Twin Peaks syndrome: taking themselves WAY too seriously. I’ve also been watching some of my favorite childhood TV shows in rerun and realizing that, as good as they were when I was 8, Petticoat Junction, The Beverly Hillbillies and even the vaunted Laugh-In are unbearable now. The only one that holds up is the surreal, Dada-esque Green Acres. “Zis has been a Filmvays presentation, dahling.” ---
**Author:** ![J\_String](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce73a5/32.png) [@J\_String](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J_String)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/35 "1999-09-03T18:22:00Z")
60 Minutes tops my list of all time bad shows. When was the last time you saw so many lies, misconceptions, and shoddy research in one place. The show’s so slanted, it’s flat. ---
**Author:** ![Sonic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Sonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonic)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/36 "1999-09-03T20:11:00Z")
I’m in the age group that’s supposed to swoon over boy bands, refer to Wednesday as “Dawson’s Creek day”, and cover my room in Leonardo DiCaprio posters.(shudder) Dispite what’s expected of me, I refuse to watch ANY of the following shows- \*Dawson’s Creek \*Buffy the Vampire Slayer \*TRL \*Any Aaron Spelling, or Kevin Williamson show \*Party of Five \*Moesha \*And many many more… While most of my friends fall into this downward spirol and become hooked on the WB, I just sit back and watch MST3K, The Simpsons, and laugh histerically.(o: Besides those, I think the worst TV shows of all time have got to be- \*My Brother and me \*Baywatch (Surprised it hasn’e been mentioned) \*Teen Angel \*Family Matters \*Small Wonder \*Zoobaly Zoo \*And of course- Full House. Even though they had the hilarious Bob Saget and those oh-so-cute Olsen twins. (I shouldn’t even have to tell you how sarcastic I’m being.) ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/37 "1999-09-03T21:08:00Z")
Dear God, man! First you guys start bashing X-files, then someones goes and speaks ill of Baywatch. I need to start reconsidering who I associate with online!!! ---
**Author:** ![EnigmaOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EnigmaOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnigmaOne)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/38 "1999-09-03T23:08:00Z")
For the record: Stand up commedians should never do TV sitcoms. ## Exception: Home Improvement I agree with Small Wonder being bad, and the only show that I can think of that was worse was called Open All Night…I think it ran for 3 consecutive weeks before it (mercifully) died. Geeze! That show sucked! – **Kalél** _Common ¢ for all ages…_ Doncha just hate word problems? “\If it takes a four-month old woodpecker, with a rubber bill, 9 months and 13 days to peck a hole through a Cypress log that is big enough to make 117 shingles, and it takes 165 shingles to make a bundle worth 93¢, how long will it take a cross-eyed grasshopper, with a cork leg, to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?" ---
**Author:** ![EnigmaOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EnigmaOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnigmaOne)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/39 "1999-09-03T23:12:00Z")
## I hate it when that happens! – **Kalél** _Common ¢ for all ages…_ Doncha just hate word problems? “If it takes a four-month old woodpecker, with a rubber bill, 9 months and 13 days to peck a hole through a Cypress log that is big enough to make 117 shingles, and it takes 165 shingles to make a bundle worth 93¢, how long will it take a cross-eyed grasshopper, with a cork leg, to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?” ---
**Author:** ![torq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@torq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torq)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 1999, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601/40 "1999-09-03T23:17:00Z")
You need to consider availabity/ubiquitousness as well. By that standard, Small Wonder (which is probably showing RIGHT NOW in syndication somewhere) is much worse than Cop Rock, which I have managed to avoid completely. After all, it doesn’t really matter very much how awful a show was if it aired exactly once, on channel 83, at 4:00 AM Sunday morning. I’d also like to submit “Good Times” and televised golf and/or bowling (particularly candlepin bowling) for consideration. In closing, I’d like to take my revenge on those of you who have managed to get my brain stuck on the theme song from Small Wonder by returning the favor: “Ssshee’s a smmaaaallll… wonnn-derrrrr…” Thank you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/8601.md?page=3)