# The Worst Theatrical Review Ever!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 23, 2002, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-theatrical-review-ever/133458 "2002-10-23T02:09:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-theatrical-review-ever/133458/1 "2002-10-23T02:09:54Z")
The _Guinness Book of Records_ mentions Alexander Woolcott’s broadway review of **Wham!** which read "_Ouch!_ " But there is one more dismissive. At the Duchess Theatre in London at the turn of the century there opened a show called **A Good Time**. next morning it got the simple review _“No.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-theatrical-review-ever/133458/2 "2002-10-23T03:15:33Z")
Just wait until [Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical](http://www.broadwaystars.com/news/2002_03_31_starchive.shtml#75083878) makes it’s debut! Supposedly some of the lyrics go: [quote] I’ve seen what he’s got down there And I’m worried just a little bit. Though I know I’m strong, he’s oh so long And I’m afraid it might not fit. Suck, blow, swallow slow, doggie-style no, no, no! [quote] It’s an off-Broadway production! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-theatrical-review-ever/133458/3 "2002-10-23T12:54:44Z")
James Agee’s entire review of the movie _You Were Meant for Me_ was “That’s what you think.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-theatrical-review-ever/133458/4 "2002-10-23T13:25:12Z")
I can’t remember the title, but as I recall, the NYT’s entire review for a one-man-show was “The cast was too large.” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-theatrical-review-ever/133458/5 "2002-10-23T13:36:06Z")
Wish I could remember the name of the reviewer or the title of the production (a comedy): “Laughter was heard at the back of the theater, which led one to believe that someone was telling jokes back there.” ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-theatrical-review-ever/133458/6 "2002-10-23T14:05:06Z")
In a 1933 review of the play “The Lake” starring Katherine Hepburn, Dorothy Parker wrote: “Miss Hepburn runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.” And another from Dorthy Parker, reviewing the play “The House Beautiful”: “The House Beautiful is The Play Lousy.” ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-worst-theatrical-review-ever/133458/7 "2002-10-23T14:20:35Z")
Darn, **Labdad** the House Beautiful one was mine. Grrrrr. I don’t remember the play, or the exact quote, but one review was the following. > [@](#): > > I didn’t like the play, but I saw it under adverse conditions. The curtain was up.