# The "written by a coked up orangutan" thread
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 23, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137 "2013-05-23T17:00:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 13
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@HotDogWater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HotDogWater)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/1 "2013-05-23T17:00:06Z")
Hey how ya doin that yours? mind if a have a little taste? got any bananas? no, i’m really not hungry I just like bananas know what I’m sayin? goddam the females over there sure got some sloped foreheads huh? am I right or am I right? I bet they can care for and socialize their young, ya know what I mean? mind if I have a little more of that? oh yaaaa, that hits the spot. did I ever tell you about that nest I built in that tree that time? let’s go out, you wanna go out? got any more of that?
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### Author:  [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/2 "2013-05-23T17:08:54Z")
Um - hi there. Are you enjoying your [iPad?](http://redapes.org/multimedia/apps-for-apes/)
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2013, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/3 "2013-05-23T17:11:13Z")
The baboon next door? He’s a narc. Pass it on.
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### Author:  [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/4 "2013-05-23T17:18:51Z")
This chimpanzee friend of mine says he can hook me up with a Columbian spider monkey that can get this stuff uncut from source.
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### Author:  [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/5 "2013-05-23T22:53:24Z")
I think I’ve got a bug on my back. Could someone scratch it off please?
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### Author:  [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/6 "2013-05-23T22:55:19Z")
These leaves make a really great hat. Perhaps I can show you how to use them as such.
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### Author:  [@HotDogWater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HotDogWater)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/7 "2013-05-24T14:11:35Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=691514](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=691514)
Please see post 17 to prevent the dreaded whoosh.
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### Author:  [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2013, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/8 "2013-05-24T14:14:16Z")
Rob Ford? Is that you? 😕
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### Author:  [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2013, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/9 "2013-05-24T14:18:59Z")
Why is someone giving their good stuff to a monkey?
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### Author:  [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2013, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/10 "2013-05-24T14:58:53Z")
Ook?
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### Author:  [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/11 "2013-05-24T20:34:51Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#):
>
> Why is someone giving their good stuff to a monkey?
Psst. Don’t use the M-word. He doesn’t like it.
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/12 "2013-05-24T23:59:50Z")
> [@HotDogWater](#):
>
> [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=691514](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=691514)
> Please see post 17 to prevent the dreaded whoosh.
I am humbled and honored.
The orangutans, however, are ticked off that Clint Eastwood has stopped returning their calls. They insist they’re over it, it’s been thirty years, the old dudes have gone to rehab and there’s new up and coming young orangs who are ready for serious dramatic roles, if only he’d read the scripts so they can break out from writing copy for local news in Arkansas.
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [May 25, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-written-by-a-coked-up-orangutan-thread/659137/13 "2013-05-25T00:09:10Z")
However, credit where credit’s due, **friedo** was the one who created the phrase, and **Polycarp** the one who first turned it into a clever post. I merely advocated for its elevation.