# The Zombie Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 1, 2014, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439 "2014-05-01T14:50:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/1 "2014-05-01T14:50:26Z")
For discussion about zombies, vampires, lycanthropy, and other supernatural sexually transmitted diseases. 1. If you can drink AIDS infected sperm and not become infected, can you drink vampire blood or eat zombie meat? 2. Does a vampire, werewolf or zombie have to bite you to transform you into one of them? What if they spit in your eye? Kiss your skinned knee? Double dip your salsa? 3. If a mosquito bites a zombie will it become a zombie mosquito? 4. If a mosquito bites a vampire, and gets infected, what will it eat afterwards? Tacos? 5. If a zombie/vampire infects a vampire/zombie, will the resulting creature be technically alive? 6. If the living dead are technically living the “afterlife,” and they are by nature evil, does that mean Earth is Hell? 7. If zombies only eat human flesh, shouldn’t broccoli and other vegetables repel them? Why isn’t a Good Earth store the safest place during the zombie apocalypse? 8. If garlic repels vampires, are Koreans invulnerable? 9. What body part do zombies find the most delicious and/or easiest to digest? 10. Why don’t vampires carry handi-wipes or make people wash their necks? Feel free to discuss/add more questions. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/2 "2014-05-01T15:01:43Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > For discussion about zombies, vampires, lycanthropy, and other supernatural sexually transmitted diseases. > > 1. If you can drink AIDS infected sperm and not become infected, can you drink vampire blood or eat zombie meat? > > 2. Does a vampire, werewolf or zombie have to bite you to transform you into one of them? What if they spit in your eye? Kiss your skinned knee? Double dip your salsa? > > 3. If a mosquito bites a zombie will it become a zombie mosquito? > > 4. If a mosquito bites a vampire, and gets infected, what will it eat afterwards? Tacos? > > 5. If a zombie/vampire infects a vampire/zombie, will the resulting creature be technically alive? > > 6. If the living dead are technically living the “afterlife,” and they are by nature evil, does that mean Earth is Hell? > > 7. If zombies only eat human flesh, shouldn’t broccoli and other vegetables repel them? Why isn’t a Good Earth store the safest place during the zombie apocalypse? > > 8. If garlic repels vampires, are Koreans invulnerable? > > 9. What body part do zombies find the most delicious and/or easiest to digest? > > 10. Why don’t vampires carry handi-wipes or make people wash their necks? > > Feel free to discuss/add more questions. 1 - Cooking kills the pathogens. 2 - Zombies: you have to die. Werewolves: you have to survive an attack. Vampires have to desanguinate you. The question is, can you be all three at once? 3 - Mosquitoes are not human. Why are there no zombie dogs on _The Walking Dead_? 8 - Italians would be safe, too. ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/3 "2014-05-01T15:08:28Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > For discussion about zombies, vampires, lycanthropy, and other supernatural sexually transmitted diseases. > > 1. If you can drink AIDS infected sperm and not become infected, can you drink vampire blood or eat zombie meat? Sure, I see no reason why you couldn’t drink vampire blood or eat zombie meat but yeah, you may be infected if you do. > [@](#): > > 1. Does a vampire, werewolf or zombie have to bite you to transform you into one of them? What if they spit in your eye? Kiss your skinned knee? Double dip your salsa? Depends. Not all mythical monsters are created the same way. > [@](#): > > 1. If a mosquito bites a zombie will it become a zombie mosquito? Not likely. > [@](#): > > 1. If a mosquito bites a vampire, and gets infected, what will it eat afterwards? Tacos? See answer above but in the unlikely event that it did occur they would eat other mosquitos. > [@](#): > > 1. If a zombie/vampire infects a vampire/zombie, will the resulting creature be technically alive? Yes under the double negative rule. > [@](#): > > 1. If the living dead are technically living the “afterlife,” and they are by nature evil, does that mean Earth is Hell? The desire to feed is not inherently evil so the premise of the question is false. > [@](#): > > 1. If zombies only eat human flesh, shouldn’t broccoli and other vegetables repel them? Why isn’t a Good Earth store the safest place during the zombie apocalypse? I don’t eat furniture but I’m not repelled by Ikea stores. > [@](#): > > 1. If garlic repels vampires, are Koreans invulnerable? If said Koreans are made of garlic then yes, otherwise no. > [@](#): > > 1. What body part do zombies find the most delicious and/or easiest to digest? Brains > [@](#): > > 1. Why don’t vampires carry handi-wipes or make people wash their necks? Immortals don’t need handi-wipes. > [@](#): > > Feel free to discuss/add more questions. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/4 "2014-05-01T15:22:42Z")
> [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](#): > > I don’t eat furniture but I’m not repelled by Ikea stores. So if I am repelled by Ikea stores, I’m a sofapire? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/5 "2014-05-01T15:25:38Z")
1. If animals could be transformed into vampire animals, what would, say a vampire cat, transform into? Would a vampire bird transform into a fish? ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/6 "2014-05-01T15:45:52Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > 1. If animals could be transformed into vampire animals, what would, say a vampire cat, transform into? Would a vampire bird transform into a fish? Sadly to say no, as far as shapeshifting goes it’s bats all the way down. ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/7 "2014-05-01T15:47:50Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > So if I am repelled by Ikea stores, I’m a sofapire? Depends, what do you eat? If you are eating vams then you are a vampire but if you are eating sofas then you are a sofapire. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/8 "2014-05-01T15:54:06Z")
> [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](#): > > Depends, what do you eat? If you are eating vams then you are a vampire but if you are eating sofas then you are a sofapire. I’ve been known to enjoy a good chaw on my pillow. ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/9 "2014-05-01T16:01:55Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > I’ve been known to enjoy a good chaw on my pillow. Then no you are not a sofapire. Sorry, didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/10 "2014-05-01T16:12:44Z")
> [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](#): > > Sadly to say no, as far as shapeshifting goes it’s bats all the way down. Would an infected bat turn into a bigger or smaller bat? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/11 "2014-05-01T17:01:42Z")
By coincidence, I am currently listening to the audio version of _The Zombie Survival Guide_ by Max Brooks. It’s quite good (so far) in a kind of tongue-in-cheek, deadpan way. Almost as good as his also excellent _World War Z_ book, which is in turn much better than the execrable movie of the same name (_spits ritualistically_). He claims that zombies do not actually digest the flesh they eat, and that their digestive tracts are shut down, or nearly so. Then where does the energy to allow them to move come from? Brooks makes it a point to mention that zombies do not breathe, so presumably the energy cannot come from oxidation of any sort. Likewise Brooks mentions that zombies do not learn, and pay essentially no attention to anything but spotting and attacking humans. Yet in the sections on “Defense”, Brooks says not to wear armor, because the clanking of the plates or mail attracts zombies in search of food. Likewise he recommends silencers for firearms, and/or crossbows, also so as not to attract zombies. If zombies cannot learn or apply logic, how could they learn to associate anything with food? Inquiring minds want to know. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/12 "2014-05-01T17:16:43Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Would an infected bat turn into a bigger or smaller bat? Also, when an infected animal changes into another animal, would it lose all its fur? Or, would it suddenly be wearing clothes? How do you silence a crossbow? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/13 "2014-05-01T20:35:46Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > He claims that zombies do not actually digest the flesh they eat, and that their digestive tracts are shut down, or nearly so. Then where does the energy to allow them to move come from? Brooks makes it a point to mention that zombies do not breathe, so presumably the energy cannot come from oxidation of any sort. > > Regards, > Shodan Shodan, I just mentioned those very things in the other CS NotLD thread, and didn’t want you to think I was cribbing your notes if you make it over there. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/14 "2014-05-01T21:08:08Z")
Why are zombies so fond of congregating outside of shopping malls? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/15 "2014-05-01T21:13:28Z")
> [@Don\_Draper](#): > > Why are zombies so fond of congregating outside of shopping malls? Black Friday deals. 🙂 This was actually speculated on in the original Dawn…Peter posits that the mall was an important place in their pre-zombie lives. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/16 "2014-05-01T22:11:23Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Black Friday deals. 🙂 > > This was actually speculated on in the original Dawn…Peter posits that the mall was an important place in their pre-zombie lives. :rolleyes: Come on :rolleyes: really? Did you live through the 1970’s? His point may be dated today but they were dead on when the movie came out. Malls have always been full of zombies but George just made them undead. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/17 "2014-05-01T22:22:19Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Black Friday deals. 🙂 > > This was actually speculated on in the original Dawn…Peter posits that the mall was an important place in their pre-zombie lives. :rolleyes: > [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](#): > > Come on :rolleyes: really? Did you live through the 1970’s? His point may be dated today but they were dead on when the movie came out. Malls have always been full of zombies but George just made them undead. I stand by my original statement: Black Friday deals. 😃 No, I don’t doubt for a minute the mall was important in their pre-walker lives, it was important to me at that time (born 1960), I :rolleyes: because it seemed like a stretch they’d remember it after death. And then re-animation. The impression I got from the earlier films was that the brains had turned to mush and the zombies were active because of the piece of the brain stem that the radiation controlled. ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/18 "2014-05-01T22:42:26Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I stand by my original statement: Black Friday deals. 😃 > > No, I don’t doubt for a minute the mall was important in their pre-walker lives, it was important to me at that time (born 1960), I :rolleyes: because it seemed like a stretch they’d remember it after death. And then re-animation. The impression I got from the earlier films was that the brains had turned to mush and the zombies were active because of the piece of the brain stem that the radiation controlled. I see. I didn’t read it like that. To me it was like muscle memory. They did it by habit because it’s always what they’d done. They didn’t have to think about it it was all they ever had done. Again, it was a jab to the state of most mall goers of the day who were simply gathering there because that’s what they did. Not that I was any different. I was a mall rat too. It was cheaper than a babysitter. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/19 "2014-05-01T23:18:42Z")
> [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](#): > > I see. I didn’t read it like that. To me it was like muscle memory. They did it by habit because it’s always what they’d done. They didn’t have to think about it it was all they ever had done. Again, it was a jab to the state of most mall goers of the day who were simply gathering there because that’s what they did. Not that I was any different. I was a mall rat too. It was cheaper than a babysitter. Good point re: muscle memory. Of course, that was back when malls weren’t geared for strictly the 13-29 YO female consumer crowd. My favorite mall had a pet store, a five-and-dime, an independent record store, a BIG movie house you didn’t have to cross a rainy parking lot to get to, and a couple Monkey Ward-type stores where the toys were all the way in the back. Nothin’ at the mall for me, now. ::sniff:: Nobody has called me on a flub I made earlier: it was Steven that made the **the mall was an important place in their pre-zombie lives** , not Peter. Here’s how that works–“The name is Steven, Steven, STEVEN…P-E-T-E-R, STEVEN.” Can I get an “AMEN”? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Gretchion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8edcca/32.png) [@Gretchion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gretchion)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2014, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zombie-thread/687439/20 "2014-05-02T05:45:59Z")
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