# The ZPG Zealot handshake thread party extravaganza **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2016, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713 "2016-06-29T16:14:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/121 "2016-06-30T06:11:14Z")
IIRC, she’s also claimed she finds breast-feeding perverted, even though Roma traditions are the exact opposite. So she really only uses her background as an excuse when it fits her biases even when it doesn’t) ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/122 "2016-06-30T06:11:19Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > FTR, I feel fairly confident in saying that handshaking aversion is not part of Roma culture, and **ZPG Zealot** is lying when she implies that it is. Of course she is. How do you know when ZPG Zealot is lying or trolling? She’s posting. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/123 "2016-06-30T06:59:20Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Of course she is. How do you know when ZPG Zealot is lying or trolling? She’s posting. Bwaaaaaaah. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/124 "2016-06-30T12:09:56Z")
For a long time now I’ve smoothly slid proffered handshakes into fistbumps. I’m a guy with no problem shaking hands, I do it only to add some whimsy, which it does. I recently fistbumped an elderly woman who then went around fistbumping everyone she could, cackling each time someone responded. I don’t imagine **ZPG** would appreciate being fisted.☹ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/125 "2016-06-30T12:23:48Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > But that is what these things are to her, they are a cultural prohibition. She’s Roma. She’s whatever specific branch of Roma she is. She speaks as if she was the voice of all women, when her attitudes are shared neither by the majority of the women within 500 miles of her, nor by many Roma. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/126 "2016-06-30T12:47:53Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > I learned to bow before going to Japan for a business trip. The problem with these greetings is that status is inherently a part of them, while hand shaking is inherently pretty equal. A cat can shake the hand of a king. Not that hand shaking is better in any absolute way, it is more suited to American culture. Nah, a cat wouldn’t shake hands with a king. It would just start washing its butthole with gusto. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/127 "2016-06-30T12:52:53Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > What about during basketball or a pickup game of football and you make a good play. Is it offensive to get a friendly pat on the backside and a compliment such as “nice hustle?” Not offensive but if you are going to do the [credit card swipe](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Credit%20Card%20Swiping) it is polite to ask permission first. Through a bizarre set of circumstances I found myself at the reception for the first Kuwaiti ambassador to Iraq since the 1990 invasion. I was on the receiving line and met him and his wife. The guy in front of me mistakenly put out his hand to shake the hand of the ambassador. He was not shot. He was not accused of rape. He was not dragged out of the al Rasheed. Instead she graciously said she does not shake hands. Then we had a nice brief conversation about the military. Amazing how that worked out even in a Muslim country. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/128 "2016-06-30T13:00:21Z")
You mean, she was pleasant even though he’d just raped her? Wow! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/129 "2016-06-30T13:06:50Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I don’t imagine **ZPG** would appreciate being fisted.☹ Phrasing!! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/130 "2016-06-30T13:08:23Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > You mean, she was pleasant even though he’d just raped her? Wow! Lets keep things accurate. Attempted rape. ---
**Author:** ![emulsified](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emulsified/32/2915_2.png) [@emulsified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emulsified)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/131 "2016-06-30T13:29:31Z")
I will admit that at times, when it’s been a while, I will shake my own hand. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/132 "2016-06-30T14:17:55Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Why shake hands at all? I’ve gotten thorough plenty of business meetings without extending my hands for a shake. There are lots of reasons people don’t want to shake hands - arthritis, allergies, they have a cold and don’t want to spread germs. People shake hands because 95% of us aren’t pants-wetting children looking for reasons to be offended. Also, non-dysfunctional people sometimes like to touch other people to form a connection. If you don’t like human connections, may I recommend discontinuing use of this board? I know this pit thread isn’t about you, but I want to take this opportunity to let you know that there’s a special place in hell for people who treat adopted children like pariahs. Oh and super fuck you to ZPG Zealot. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/133 "2016-06-30T14:19:34Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I can break that principal to administer CPR I hadn’t realized school officials had such brittle ribs, what with all that cafeteria milk they drink. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/134 "2016-06-30T14:50:32Z")
> [@emulsified](#): > > I will admit that at times, when it’s been a while, I will shake my own hand. Kudos on safe sex. It’s important. Make sure you wash your hand first, though. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/135 "2016-06-30T14:51:41Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Not offensive but if you are going to do the [credit card swipe](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Credit%20Card%20Swiping) it is polite to ask permission first. Whoa! That’s a real thing? And I thought it was only the Japanese who did [strange thinks to butts](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanch%C5%8D)! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/136 "2016-06-30T15:05:05Z")
In competitive chess, you shake hands both before and after the game. A refusal to do this is taken very seriously and may result in a forfeit. I personally have played chess all over the world and every game had the two required handshakes. This included games against men, women and children of many nationalities, religions and cultures. I have also worked for several large companies (plus a private school) and every one of them expected me to offer a handshake to customers (and parents), whether male or female. This had the backing of each HR department. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/137 "2016-06-30T15:05:44Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > And again, may I suggest that ‘shaking hands’ has little to do with male violence. It’s not the act of shaking hands that causes those men to beat their wives. In some (I’d imagine) VERY rare cases, the man might use that as an excuse to beat his wife, but it’s just an excuse he’s looking for. And if it wasn’t shaking hands, it’d be not cooking his meal on time, or ironing his shirt correctly. > > Your ‘beliefs’ are playing into the very hands of these violent men, and putting the responsibility to **end** that violence into the hands of the women you profess to protect. You are saying (in effect) “…behave yourselves wimmins and you won’t get bashed or killed…” Is that really the message you want to send? You completely misunderstand. The message I was trying to send is that men, well actually everybody in general, should err on the side of caution in how their behavior can effect those around them especially those they don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Sampsiceramos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Sampsiceramos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampsiceramos)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/138 "2016-06-30T15:09:49Z")
And yet coincidentally “err on the side of caution” as you suggest it never works out to be the actions statistically least likely to offend people, but the actions that offend you and your, ahem, _rather particular_ sensibilities the least. Funny, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/139 "2016-06-30T15:11:33Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Consent doesn’t have to be verbal, it just has to be clear and unambiguous. My extending my hand is an offer. Your taking my hand in yours is consenting to a handshake. > > However, note that there is NO hint in these that anyone might be offended if someone from another community OFFERS to shake hands. In fact, there is concern that refusing to accept the handshake might embarrass the other party. When it comes to matters of concerning physical touch, verbal consent is the best the standard. Seriously, nonverbal consent is too easily a quagmire in a lot of behavior. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/140 "2016-06-30T15:15:08Z")
Yes, everyone should try to do no harm. The problem is, there is no choice that does no harm to anyone. Well, i assumed the standard choice, which is to offer a handshake politely, without grabbing anything, did no harm. But you seem to disagree. Making a fuss about my being a woman and checking before shaking my hand, but not before shaking the hand of a man, harms me. It announces to everyone in the room that this person views me as a woman first, and a colleague second. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713.md?page=8)