# The ZPG Zealot handshake thread party extravaganza **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2016, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713 "2016-06-29T16:14:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/141 "2016-06-30T15:15:40Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > What about during basketball or a pickup game of football and you make a good play. Is it offensive to get a friendly pat on the backside and a compliment such as “nice hustle?” I don’t play mixed sports (or do anything else that’s going to cause me to have physical contact with a male), so I don’t have to make that distinction. When I was child in school, I hated, hated, hated, anything co-ed because it was frequently used as an opportunity for the boys to molest the girls and the schools did nothing. They thought it was funny. It was the first time I really understand how to hate. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/142 "2016-06-30T15:18:01Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Yes, everyone should try to do no harm. The problem is, there is no choice that does no harm to anyone. Well, i assumed the standard choice, which is to offer a handshake politely, without grabbing anything, did no harm. But you seem to disagree. > > Making a fuss about my being a woman and checking before shaking my hand, but not before shaking the hand of a man, harms me. It announces to everyone in the room that this person views me as a woman first, and a colleague second. Yes there is a choice. It takes less than five second to politely ask a woman if it is all right to shake her hands. Any woman who has a problem with this should be told that this is gesture of politeness intended because not all of her sisters are comfortable with physical contact in public. If she can’t understand this, well, she’s the one that’s etiquettily challenged ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/143 "2016-06-30T15:23:43Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Any woman who has a problem with this should be told that this is gesture of politeness intended because not all of her sisters are comfortable with physical contact in public. If she can’t understand this, well, she’s the one that’s etiquettily challenged All of my sisters are perfectly comfortable shaking hands. And if we weren’t, we would say so. Politely. And we wouldn’t call other women whores for being fine with it. See, that’s what real consideration looks like. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/144 "2016-06-30T15:29:18Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Yes there is a choice. It takes less than five second to politely ask a woman if it is all right to shake her hands. Any woman who has a problem with this should be told that this is gesture of politeness intended because not all of her sisters are comfortable with physical contact in public. If she can’t understand this, well, she’s the one that’s etiquettily challenged But many women have told me that this would offend them or make them uncomfortable, while only one person (you) has told me that offering a handshake (without invading space, touching you, demanding anything, or throwing a tantrum) would do so. Just by the numbers, in my quest to cause as little harm as possible, I should take the advice of the many women over your input. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/145 "2016-06-30T15:29:35Z")
**ZPG Zealot** : Fighting women’s equality and setting back social progress, one hand shake at a time, since 2003. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/146 "2016-06-30T15:35:37Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Obviously you’ve never read anything she’s posted. This is a woman who has [endorsed infanticide](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=546471), for crissakes. ([But adoption is bad, mmkay?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=548442)) She’s full of shit and I don’t care how “victimized” she was in the past. It’s not an excuse for being a sociopath. Trying not to hijack from the subject matter. But infanticide has been the alternative for millennium for women unable to get abortions or families without access to birth control trying to limit the number of children. In all the cases involved, it was advocated as the method of last resort only when all legal channels such as abortion were blocked by someone else. Seriously, what do you expect someone to do. Just accept being used as breeder for their enemies (because obviously someone trying to force another into being a parent should be classed as an enemy)? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/147 "2016-06-30T15:37:41Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > Surely then, if a man asks a woman if she shakes hands, he’s effectively saying that he considers it likely enough that she’s a prostitute So ZPG demands that a man asks her to shake her hand yet, according to her, doing that means the woman is a whore. Well now it makes sense. ZPG is a whore. > [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > We met a fella the other day who shook mine and my wife’s hands. I am now honor-bound to kick his ass. No, you are supposed to kill your wife. Haven’t you learned anything from the Expert of Whore Etiquette? > [@iiandyiiii](#): > > But many women have told me that this would offend them or make them uncomfortable, while only one person (you) has told me that offering a handshake (without invading space, touching you, demanding anything, or throwing a tantrum) would do so. Just by the numbers, in my quest to cause as little harm as possible, I should take the advice of the many women over your input. Only at least 14 more times to go. > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > (because obviously someone trying to force another into being a parent should be classed as an enemy)? Of course they should be classed as the enemy especially the women who give birth when the man doesn’t want them to. So the women are forcing the man to be a parent and are the enemy so the man should be legally allowed to kill the woman and unborn child. I’m glad we are finally in agreement on something. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/148 "2016-06-30T15:40:44Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Yes there is a choice. It takes less than five second to politely ask a woman if it is all right to shake her hands. Any woman who has a problem with this should be told that this is gesture of politeness intended because not all of her sisters are comfortable with physical contact in public. If she can’t understand this, well, she’s the one that’s etiquettily challenged Why does one have to ask verbally? Is it okay if someone asks you in sign language? Because that’s essentially what someone is doing when they extend their hand to you. They are asking permission to shake your hand. I’m not getting what is significantly more respectful with using one’s vocal cords as to asking the same thing vis a vis a hand gesture. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/149 "2016-06-30T15:55:13Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Trying not to hijack from the subject matter. But infanticide has been the alternative for millennium for women unable to get abortions or families without access to birth control trying to limit the number of children. In all the cases involved, it was advocated as the method of last resort only when all legal channels such as abortion were blocked by someone else. Seriously, what do you expect someone to do. Just accept being used as breeder for their enemies (because obviously someone trying to force another into being a parent should be classed as an enemy)? You’re a fucking psycho. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/150 "2016-06-30T15:57:26Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Why does one have to ask verbally? Is it okay if someone asks you in sign language? Because that’s essentially what someone is doing when they extend their hand to you. They are asking permission to shake your hand. > I’m not getting what is significantly more respectful with using one’s vocal cords as to asking the same thing vis a vis a hand gesture. And, by extension, why does **ZPG Zealot** hate deaf and/or mute people? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/151 "2016-06-30T16:11:28Z")
You know, if there’s someone I want as a social worker, it’s a person who thinks men are rapists, women are sluts and children aren’t human. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/152 "2016-06-30T16:36:04Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > For a long time now I’ve smoothly slid proffered handshakes into fistbumps. > > I’m a guy with no problem shaking hands, I do it only to add some whimsy, which it does. I recently fistbumped an elderly woman who then went around fistbumping everyone she could, cackling each time someone responded. > > I don’t imagine **ZPG** would appreciate being fisted.☹ [Be careful with that](http://i.imgur.com/XpNUA0w.jpg) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/153 "2016-06-30T16:38:37Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > You’re a fucking psycho. She might not be. What’s apparent is she has very strong feelings about personal sovereignty. In my eyes it’s extreme but I don’t know if it’s psychotic. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/154 "2016-06-30T16:57:32Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > She might not be. What’s apparent is she has very strong feelings about personal sovereignty. In my eyes it’s extreme but I don’t know if it’s psychotic. ORLY?.. Hand her this pencil, will you? > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > …I almost never have a man other than my husband hand me something directly. I ask other men to place items on the desk or table and then I pick it up … Still think she’s just quirky that way? At the risk of stating the obvious, “Zealot” is in her user name. When people tell us who/what they are, it behooves us to listen. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/155 "2016-06-30T17:10:46Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Why does one have to ask verbally? Is it okay if someone asks you in sign language? Because that’s essentially what someone is doing when they extend their hand to you. They are asking permission to shake your hand. > I’m not getting what is significantly more respectful with using one’s vocal cords as to asking the same thing vis a vis a hand gesture. I would be perfectly fine with asking in American Sign Language through an interpreter if that is the only language the man speaks. Verbal consent avoids a lot of confusion. It greatly reduces the possibilities of coercion. After all one can nonverbally threaten with facial expression and body language or misinterpret nonverbal communication. When in doubt ask clearly in a language both parties understand, is always the best policy. ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/156 "2016-06-30T17:21:30Z")
“Excuse me, madam, but I believe you to be a prostitute. Might I acquire your sexual services in exchange for a small sum of money?” Sorry, I wasn’t sure, but I figure when in doubt, ask clearly. Totally not offensive. Not like a handshake, at least. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/157 "2016-06-30T17:27:34Z")
So perhaps you need an interpreter to follow you around, asks if a man extends his hands the interpreter can say "ZPG, Mr so-and-so would like to shake your hand. Does he have permission to do so? " Then you can say "no, I’m sorry, i don’t shake hands. " Or you can mentally interpret that gesture and still respond verbally. Instead of how you currently interpret it -" He’s a rapist! " ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/158 "2016-06-30T17:36:55Z")
Luckily, **ZPG Zealot** , you don’t need an interpreter – when a man puts out his hand without invading your personal space, without touching you (or even close), then he’s asking “would you like to shake hands?” So, from now on, you can translate this in your mind as a question asking if you’d like to shake hands, and you are free to say “no”. If he does touch you without your consent, then I totally agree that he is in the wrong. Hopefully this has been helpful, and can help avoid miscommunications in the future! ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/159 "2016-06-30T17:47:41Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I don’t like social kisses. Some of my family-by-marriage has started doing this. Ick. I remember back when I was 20ish and working in the US over the summer. My boss invited me to dinner with his family one evening which was going splendidly. Their college-age daughter came home a bit later, she’d been at the movies with some friends, and I was a bit tipsy already and it was a really hot Colorado evening and I just routinely moved in for the peck on the cheeks. Which is how you say “hi” to a girl in France, and nobody thinks twice about it (the only argument being whether 2, 3 or 4 pecks is the correct amount :p). She had this instinctive backwards movement and flashed me the most panicked, “what the fuck do you think you’re doing ?!” look I’ve ever seen in my life. That’s when I remembered y’all don’t do that :smack:. She shook my hand instead, but the next 30 minutes or so were a bit weird 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/160 "2016-06-30T17:56:57Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > Oh and super fuck you to ZPG Zealot. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} [Moderating] Don’t say “fuck you” to other posters. No warning issued. [/Moderating] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713.md?page=9)