# The ZPG Zealot handshake thread party extravaganza **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2016, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713 "2016-06-29T16:14:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/161 "2016-06-30T17:57:14Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Hopefully this has been helpful, and can help avoid miscommunications in the future! [You have my vote](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=19445431#post19445431). ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/162 "2016-06-30T18:33:33Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > [You have my vote](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=19445431#post19445431). But not **Asimovian** ’s, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/163 "2016-06-30T18:34:55Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > But not **Asimovian** ’s, apparently. So sad… my one bit of SDMB fame, moderated away in minutes. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/164 "2016-06-30T18:38:18Z")
Better a dead thread than a dead saint. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/165 "2016-06-30T18:38:30Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > So sad… my one bit of SDMB fame, moderated away in minutes. ☹ Quite the contrary. I’ve guaranteed that no other Doper will ever achieve the status of such a nomination within that thread. You, and only you, will hold that honor forever! ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/166 "2016-06-30T18:56:41Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > [Moderating] > Don’t say “fuck you” to other posters. > > No warning issued. > [/Moderating] Well I’ll be fucked! 😛 My apologies to the board. Learn something new everyday. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/167 "2016-06-30T19:05:34Z")
Not that this thread is a hug-fest or anything, but I’m actually surprised that the level of civility in this thread. **ZPG Zealot** has got to be among the most disturbed posters I’ve ever seen on this board, with ideas that range from the bizarre to the truly disturbing. And yet, this thread is still more “WTF is with these ideas?” and not so much a pile-on. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![Bone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bone/32/407_2.png) [@Bone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bone)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/168 "2016-06-30T19:26:17Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Not that this thread is a hug-fest or anything, but I’m actually surprised that the level of civility in this thread. **ZPG Zealot** has got to be among the most disturbed posters I’ve ever seen on this board, with ideas that range from the bizarre to the truly disturbing. And yet, this thread is still more “WTF is with these ideas?” and not so much a pile-on. > > Yet. I suggest the [Craig Ferguson approach](http://www.truthdig.com/avbooth/item/remember_that_time_craig_ferguson_stood_up_for_britney_spears_20140428#). I think there are potential mental health issues present and because of that I find it unseemly to prod a person in that circumstance. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/169 "2016-06-30T20:05:22Z")
> [@Bone](#): > > I suggest the [Craig Ferguson approach](http://www.truthdig.com/avbooth/item/remember_that_time_craig_ferguson_stood_up_for_britney_spears_20140428#). I think there are potential mental health issues present and because of that I find it unseemly to prod a person in that circumstance. You may be right. She may have mental health issues. But I’m pretty she can still hear you. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/170 "2016-06-30T20:28:55Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > ORLY?.. Hand her this pencil, will you? > > Still think she’s just quirky that way? > > At the risk of stating the obvious, “Zealot” is in her user name. When people tell us who/what they are, it behooves us to listen. I stand corrected! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/171 "2016-06-30T20:54:29Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > You may be right. She may have mental health issues. But I’m pretty she can still hear you. edoc ni etirw uoy fi toN ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/172 "2016-06-30T21:01:49Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Yes there is a choice. It takes less than five second to politely ask a woman if it is all right to shake her hands. Any woman who has a problem with this should be told that this is gesture of politeness intended because not all of her sisters are comfortable with physical contact in public. If she can’t understand this, well, she’s the one that’s etiquettily challenged The CHOICE is that I can choose to be offended or not. I can either tell myself the guy’s trying to rape me or that he’s doing what most people have agreed is a polite gesture of respect. I choose the latter. It’s as simple as that. I’m no one’s victim. What a shame that your choice is to be one. My existence is much less stressful. You keep mentioning you’re in “academia”. Would you care to provide details? I find it difficult to believe. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/173 "2016-06-30T21:27:24Z")
I personally wish we had another Roma on the board so I could see how much of her stuff is cultural and how much of it goes beyond. I know the idea of not touching is cultural. But the fact that she thinks even offering a handshake is bad: I find it hard to believe anyone could think that. ---
**Author:** ![TipTapTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/34f0e0/32.png) [@TipTapTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TipTapTwo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/174 "2016-06-30T21:29:31Z")
[QUOTE=Whiskey Dickens] Oh and super fuck you to ZPG Zealot. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Miller] [Moderating] Don’t say “fuck you” to other posters. No warning issued. [/Moderating] [/QUOTE] Now wait, maybe even **ZPG Zealot** could come back and answer my question, but if simply proffering a hand is equivalent to a man asking a woman “are you a whore? Want to fuck?” then every time a person in a thread extends their e-hand to another (or even talks about shaking hands with others in any context) then they are, in ZPG’s eyes, asking “fuck you?” and being accepted with a “yes, fuck me!” ZPG really thinks that **kayaker** literally did an act to that grandma that was equivalent to really fisting her. And ZPG thinks grandma thinks that **kayaker** fisted her so good that her literal/metaphorical greeting-based sexual proclivities changed to demand/impose mutual-fist-fucking-as-a-greeting from/on others. What I am getting at is, specifically only for **ZPG Zealot’s** case, in a ZPG Zealot thread, does "{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}” literally translate in her own mind to “super fuck you.” What would be the equivalent of a big friendly bear hug, if simply shaking hands is rape? Some kind of crushing German dungeon porn experience? If **ZPG Zealot** could come back and tell me what an Italian/French hug and kiss greeting combination is equal to (again, since handshakes are “vanilla” rape, such further intrusion must be exponentially worse), I would appreciate it… But again, I am sure the Straight Dope does not condone talking about genuine (in relation to the poster’s mental view that is being goaded into typing out such darkness) abuse in such a manner, and that such discretion is ultimately in the hands of the poster feeling abused (ZPG through her own and her client’s beliefs) and the mods. So now this post became a test between **ZPG Zealot’s** beliefs unifying with her client’s plights (how genuine/immovable are they) and the mods’ beliefs of her sincerity that everyone simply talking about shaking hands or greeting another is equivalent to reading about accounts of rape and other abuses. Gah, either way I lose, If the mods decide ZPG’s continued use of the board since 2003 is proof enough that she does not truly mind(or believe) reading about handshakes, or anyone touching anyone else in any social context, is equal to reading about rape, then I probably get 3 warnings and a suspension for even creating this mess to begin with. If I lose and the mods decide ZPG’s sincerity trumps everyone else mocking her, as she pushes through the walls of textual abuse in order to spread her beliefs, then I probably straight up get banned. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/175 "2016-06-30T21:33:04Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > But not **Asimovian** ’s, apparently. Don’t listen to that guy. He’s a known spoilsport, stick in the mud, and he’s been known to consort with whores. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/176 "2016-06-30T21:33:57Z")
“Fuck you” is explicitly forbidden under the forum rules and has been forever. You might want to read those before going off again. Edit: For TipTapTwo ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/177 "2016-06-30T21:57:33Z")
> [@glee](#): > > In competitive chess, you shake hands both before and after the game. > A refusal to do this is taken very seriously and may result in a forfeit. > > I personally have played chess all over the world and every game had the two required handshakes. This included games against men, women and children of many nationalities, religions and cultures. > > I have also worked for several large companies (plus a private school) and every one of them expected me to offer a handshake to customers (and parents), whether male or female. This had the backing of each HR department. There’s also the [handshake line](http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1653502-a-winning-tradition-what-the-post-series-handshake-line-means-to-hockey) done during sports playoffs. It’s most associated with the NHL, but it’s practiced in other leagues as well. It’s not a rule, just a custom, but players who skip the line are considered to be seriously disrespectful to skip it. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/178 "2016-06-30T21:59:12Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Once again, there a lot of cultures within the United States were it is not the norm. Certainly working at academia I have never encountered it as a overshadowing blanket norm like “Try to cover your mouth when you cough” and “Don’t repeat racial slurs.” Just because a lot of people choose to do something doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Furthermore many “so-called” common behavior needs to be changed for the greater good. The idea that politeness requires a woman to let a man touch her body is one of them. Don’t feel you need to defend your beliefs here. You’re just as entitled to those beliefs as anyone else is to their beliefs. I thought this steaming pile of plop of a board had progressed to the point where we allowed others to be who they choose to be, free of ridicule and scorn. I guess not. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/179 "2016-06-30T22:00:43Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Luckily, **ZPG Zealot** , you don’t need an interpreter – when a man puts out his hand without invading your personal space, without touching you (or even close), then he’s asking “would you like to shake hands?” So, from now on, you can translate this in your mind as a question asking if you’d like to shake hands, and you are free to say “no”. > > If he does touch you without your consent, then I totally agree that he is in the wrong. > > Hopefully this has been helpful, and can help avoid miscommunications in the future! Sorry, not acceptable, that is not a proper request. That is trying to intimidate someone into touching you. It’s a very nasty thing to do. If men would only get into their heads that the only acceptable way to touch a woman is to get her actual permission, there would be a lot less problems in the world. Of course, a lot of jerks would no longer be able to molest people also. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713/180 "2016-06-30T22:08:53Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Sorry, not acceptable, that is not a proper request. That is trying to intimidate someone into touching you. It’s a very nasty thing to do. If men would only get into their heads that the only acceptable way to touch a woman is to get her actual permission, there would be a lot less problems in the world. Of course, a lot of jerks would no longer be able to molest people also. “Psycho” may be too strong a word, but not by much. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-zpg-zealot-handshake-thread-party-extravaganza/758713.md?page=10)