# Theme Weddings - Fun or Stupid? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 5, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151 "2010-10-05T18:08:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/21 "2010-10-05T22:51:34Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > \ just seems like a lot of foolishness from people who should know better by now. That’s kind of what I was thinking. > [@Giles](#): > > Go as Gollum, saying, “My precious! We wants it!” as you try to steal the wedding ring. Okay, that’s a better answer. 😃 I dunno; it’s your day, sure, to do with as you wish, but some themes just seem too silly (Little Mermaid? Seriously?) for an actual wedding. Some might be interesting, like a Halloween wedding at the end of October or a black-and-white wedding, but after seeing a lot of theme weddings on [Wedinator,](http://wedinator.icanhascheezburger.com/) I’d have to say that they almost universally look silly. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/22 "2010-10-05T23:21:46Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > > [@Apollyon](#): > > > > Wedding was held at (technically just before) an SCA event (where we bought 2/3rds of the tickets for our guests) and people were asked to make an attempt at something suitable (and told that loaner outfits or at least tabards would be available). > > For the uninformed, what exactly is “SCA”? Society for creative anachronism. It’s a Mideval recreation group that strives to be historically acturate ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/23 "2010-10-05T23:23:43Z")
Honestly? Dumb. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/24 "2010-10-05T23:26:27Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > For the uninformed, what exactly is “SCA”? Society for Creative Anachronism. They dress in period clothing dating from 800-1600 CE in appearance and are involved in crafts and activities from that era as well. They recreate the past as it should have been not as it actually was. It’s also a good excuse to go camping, smoke a lot of weed, and have a lot of sex. Or at least that’s how it works in some individual SCA groups. Odesio ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/25 "2010-10-05T23:45:37Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I’d say either make an attempt to dress in theme or send your regrets. I agree. I’ve politely declined a wedding invitation where I was expected to dress in idiotic clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/26 "2010-10-05T23:53:07Z")
> [@Miss\_Woodhouse](#): > > I don’t like theme weddings. I believe getting married to be a pretty serious, important business. the biggest decision you will make in your whole life. Treating it like a birthday party for eight year olds just makes it seem like the couple isn’t taking this marriage decision all that seriously. > > If you want a Star Trek party, have one for your birthday. _Being_ married is serious important business. **Getting** married ranges from filling out some paperwork to throwing hugely expensive parties. It doesn’t matter if you do nothing, spend $150,000, or force your guests to dress up like monsters from a book. It’s all pretty irrelevant to actually being married. That said, most theme weddings sound pretty unpleasant for the guests. My dad’s second wedding was a luau themed party but it was at our house and done expressly because neither of them wanted to make a big deal or spend a lot of money. At most, guests needed an aloha shirt and casual summer dress was fine too. I think that’s fine if it’s what you want. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/27 "2010-10-06T00:47:05Z")
Thankfully I haven’t known anyone who’s had a theme wedding, as I wouldn’t be a fan of attending one. And I agree with **Fuzzy** - the marriage ceremony has little relevance/relationship to the relationship or marriage itself. I loathed planning my own wedding with the fire of a thousand suns, and would much rather have eloped. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/28 "2010-10-06T01:32:14Z")
I look at all the ‘woodland wedding’ items on Etsy. Beautiful invitations imprinted with acorns, wild grapevine-and-leaves head pieces, rustic arrangements for carrying down the wooded path, and of course the woodland-wedding-gowns. Hell, I wish I had been married in the woods in October, like a freakin’ woodland sprite, and had roast beast and mead at the reception. But I don’t think I would have ordered friends and relatives to dress up like Robin Hood and Maid Marion. Dressy casual would have been fine. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/29 "2010-10-06T01:39:04Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I look at all the ‘woodland wedding’ items on Etsy. Beautiful invitations imprinted with acorns, wild grapevine-and-leaves head pieces, rustic arrangements for carrying down the wooded path, and of course the woodland-wedding-gowns. Hell, I wish I had been married in the woods in October, like a freakin’ woodland sprite, and had roast beast and mead at the reception. But I don’t think I would have ordered friends and relatives to dress up like Robin Hood and Maid Marion. Dressy casual would have been fine. I agree with this. Hey, if you want you and your wedding party to dress up as sylvan fairies and forest trolls (or whatever fucking magical beast lives in the woods), that’s fine. But don’t pin it on the guests to indulge you in this fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![kathmandu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kathmandu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kathmandu)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/30 "2010-10-06T02:05:15Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Hey, if you want you and your wedding party to dress up as sylvan fairies and forest trolls (or whatever fucking magical beast lives in the woods), that’s fine. But don’t pin it on the guests to indulge you in this fantasy. Totally agree. Guests aren’t props. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/31 "2010-10-06T03:09:43Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > > [@PunditLisa](#): > > > > For the uninformed, what exactly is “SCA”? > > Society for Creative Anachronism. Silly Costumes Association. 😉 (Sorry **PunditLisa** , should have written out in full). ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/32 "2010-10-06T05:11:27Z")
What a bunch of party-poopers! I agree that guests should be made completely aware that regular dressy clothing is fine and that their comfort and enjoyment is most important. A family celebration is not the place to be asking people to step out of their comfort zones, and it’s absolutely true that demanding costumes at a formal borders on treating people like props. But all weddings are themed. The only difference is that the standard wedding is “wedding” themed. I find it all horribly tacky and boring- the lace, the flowers, the matchy-matchy decorations, the silly clone-style bridesmaid’s dresses, the forced “classy but fresh” thing everyone thinks they invented, even when you try to do it “with a twist” or “with some class”, you don’t…yuck. At least a different theme adds some variety. I get no enjoyment out of monogrammed napkins and dyed-to-match bridesmaids shoes, but maybe I could at least have some fun with costumes at a cemetery. Anyway, while I firmly believe weddings should be family events, I also think people so do what they love, not skulk around trying to be as inoffensive as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/33 "2010-10-06T07:04:20Z")
One of the biggest source of income for “castle” restaurants is weddings, so apparently having somewhat of a theme is pretty popular. When I go to a wedding-themed wedding (thanks, **even sven** ), I may use that as an excuse for a new pair of earrings, but I won’t wear summer dress in the winter on grounds of “it’s a wedding! For weddings you dress like this!” (as the women from Southern Spain were saying for a friend’s wedding), because I’m from Northern Spain and therefore believe that “you dress like that if it’s in June, when weddings used to be! Not on freaking January 3rd!”; I won’t buy a whole new outfit, or wear shoes I can’t walk in. When a couple from my SCA-like group got married, and since the immense majority of the guests would be SCA-ish (the groom’s brother was in the same group, for example), they held it in one of those “castle” restaurants, and one which would often hire people from our group to perform. We were asked to bring our faire clothing, and happy to oblige (cool, I don’t have to buy anything or spend hours anguishing over what to wear!). Would I have bought a faire dress for the occasion if I didn’t have one? No. But since I had it, I was happy to wear it. The only other kind of theme I’ve seen is people getting married during the local Fiestas in the area of Spain where Fiesta dress is red’n’whites and asking guests to wear red’n’whites rather than “wedding dress” (the feast was grilled and there were bloodless bullfights involved, so espadrilles and denim made a lot more sense than dressy shoes and flimsy silk). The bride wore white, the groom red’n’whites, with matching red silk sashes (the sash in red’n’whites is usually cotton). The guests had red’n’whites and if they didn’t, they could buy them for ridiculously low amounts (a throaway set will be less than $20). ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/34 "2010-10-06T07:11:31Z")
Can anyone see the bride hold up her hand with the wedding ring, chuckling one ring to rule them all. Declan ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/35 "2010-10-06T07:21:33Z")
Go the wedding as Gandalf. Bring fireworks. ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/36 "2010-10-06T13:20:19Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > He said that these people were more in love with the idea of a fancy party than the idea of actually working at living and making a life together. There’s a thread on theme weddings going on right now on SomethingAwful, and one of the participants put really well into words what I was thinking. Something like: “If I’m invited to a Star Wars -themed wedding, I don’t think ‘wow, John and Kate sure do love each other’, I think ‘wow, John and Kate sure do love Star Wars’.” I think weddings should be about the couple, sure, and what they like and enjoy, sure, but like someone earlier said, guests are not props for YOU AND YOUR PERFECT DAY. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/37 "2010-10-06T13:31:51Z")
> [@auRa](#): > > guests are not props for YOU AND YOUR PERFECT DAY. But that’s true whether they are dressed in Star Wars costumes or in tuxedos. I think what I’m still trying to understand about the OP is why does she find it offensive to be asked to wear a specific kind of clothing which she already happens to own, and which it seems like most guests will already happen to own. To me there’s a difference between “Honeyboo and I are totally into My Little Pony so we’ll have a My Little Pony-themed wedding, and any of you who is allergic to pink is just screwed” and “Honeyboo and I are part of a My Little Pony Fan Club; most of our guests are also members of the same My Little Pony Fan Club; therefore, the party that we’re throwing to celebrate our commitment to each other will be My Little Pony-themed because we know that’s something the majority of the guests love.” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/38 "2010-10-06T13:34:57Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Go the wedding as Gandalf. Bring fireworks. Better yet, have the husband go as Tom Bombadil, and see how many attendees he can annoy the shit out of by interrupting the service with his jolly, obnoxious rhyming before the two of you get thrown out. ---
**Author:** ![Leaking\_Boot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e68b1a/32.png) [@Leaking\_Boot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaking_Boot)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/39 "2010-10-06T14:16:44Z")
If you’re going to have a theme, I suppose LotR is rich enough, but easy to dress for. A couple in my town had a Shrek wedding. No joke, they went as Shrek and Fiona. [It suits them.](http://www.walyou.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/shrek-wedding.jpg) I know that’s me being bitchy. Still, can you imagine trying to dress as Donkey or the Gingerbread Man? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/40 "2010-10-06T16:17:48Z")
Not sure if I would call it themed, but my first wedding was a 5 minute ceremony during a housewarming party for our new apartment, and the dress code was hawaiian shirt and comfy as it was a summer wedding in Virginia Beach, and I would say that 95% of the guests were off John’s submarine, and a few other military branch members we knew from the game store. I have always thought the idea of spending horrid amounts of money, and getting a church silly - mainly because I am a deist and don’t go to any specific church and John is catholic, and no catholic church in the area woul dhave been willing to marry us as I positively refuse to do any sort of bullshit canna classes, or fill out the questionaire. I think we spent a total of $250, most of it on booze and food, and much fun was had by all. Granted, the marriage only lasted 3 years, but we have a very amicable split and are still friends today. My brother spent almost $30K on a wedding, and the marriage lasted 9 months and was very acrimonius at the end. I think I did much better … [my now marriage will hit the 20 year mark in Feb, and we spent $25 for the justice of the peace, we had to borrow wedding rings for the ceremony and nobody was told about it until after the hitching …] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151.md?page=3)