# Theme Weddings - Fun or Stupid? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 5, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151 "2010-10-05T18:08:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/61 "2010-10-07T15:57:29Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > LOL, ok, ok, I got married AT the aquarium! Yeesh, a sister can’t buy a break around this joint. Just for that I demand that you admire [some wedding pictures](http://www.lifemagical.com/index.php?c=2076&p=1). ADMIRE, damn you!!! I love it! ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/62 "2010-10-08T14:01:51Z")
I’m admiring! You all look so happy! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/63 "2010-10-08T14:10:08Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > > [@Malthus](#): > > > > Your guests may have found breathing to be a bit of a challenge. 😉 > > LOL, ok, ok, I got married AT the aquarium! Yeesh, a sister can’t buy a break around this joint. Just for that I demand that you admire [some wedding pictures](http://www.lifemagical.com/index.php?c=2076&p=1). ADMIRE, damn you!!! That looks like a fun party was had by all - and not a mermaid in sight. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/64 "2010-10-08T15:13:47Z")
I’m trying to think which is smaller–the probability that I’d ever be invited to a themed wedding, or the probability that I’d accept if I were. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/65 "2010-10-08T15:20:07Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > …instead of our dirty sweaty Faire costumes? You could do a load of laundry beforehand. :dubious:😃 > [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > There’s a professional photographer I work with occasionally who’s based in Vegas - he said that he stopped doing weddings other than the Star Trek ones on the fake Enterprise bridge, up until those stopped as well, because the brides were much much less dramatic about the whole thing. For those who aren’t familiar, here is the [totally](http://www.mentalfloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/Star%20Trek%20Wedding.jpg) [awesome](http://media.photobucket.com/image/star%20trek%20wedding/relander/startrek1.jpg) Star Trek wedding. (That second guy looks a little like **Hello Again** ’s husband). ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/66 "2010-10-08T15:24:50Z")
And [here](http://www.suite101.com/content/how-to-have-a-lord-of-the-rings-wedding-a137369) are some tips on throwing an LOTR wedding. (By the way, Googling “hobbit wedding” calls up a lot of slash fiction). 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/67 "2010-10-08T15:28:27Z")
Hybby and me went to a wedding last month. The dress code was “Fifties or just festive and summery”. I thought dressing up is fun, so I found an costume shop run by volunteers for the local amateur theater groups. It was great fun assembling a costume, and it cost us less then 30 bucks. I just rented a skirt and umpteen petticoats, my husband rented an green shirt with ruffles. The rest of the costume was our own clothes. But of the 70 or so guests, less then ten guests had taken the effort. The bride and groom appreciated it hugely that we were in fifties style. They had put on display the grooms four classic old American Cars as props, and we fit in nicely and got a lot of appreciative comments from other guests. It was a great icebreaker in conversations. So try and do it and have fun, especially if the invitation specifies that its hobbits or bust. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/68 "2010-10-08T18:05:36Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > \ > (By the way, Googling “hobbit wedding” calls up a lot of slash fiction). 😛 “Sam will kill anyone who tries anything with Frodo.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/69 "2010-10-08T20:22:20Z")
I do NOT recommend being the party pooper who goes in normal dress clothes without at least communicating with the bride and groom. When I was 10 or 11, my cousin got married on halloween and had a costume wedding. My parents hated the idea, because “weddings are serious”. Being the only kid your age in a three-piece suit (which is, as a few have said, just another costume when it comes right down to it) is a really stupid thing, we stuck out like a sore thumb and frankly I found it disrespectful to the couple. Twenty years later, I still think it was shitty of my parents to do, and I would have politely declined or made at least some modest effort. I imagine the more elaborate the theme is, the most likely it is that arrangements will be provided or regular clothes will be acceptable. Halloween themed? Put on your damn costume and go celebrate with your friends, dammit. Or politely decline. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/70 "2010-10-10T21:20:08Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Hybby and me went to a wedding last month. The dress code was “Fifties or just festive and summery”. I thought dressing up is fun… > > The bride and groom appreciated it hugely that we were in fifties style… When a good friend got married – he was the best man at my wedding – the dress code was pretty typical wedding formal except that the groom’s party were in black-tie highland dress (kilts, Prince Charlie jackets, etc). The groom began to get… slightly nervous I guess, that only he and two others would be in kilts, and asked if perhaps his friends might offer some moral support. 🙂 In the end about 6 or 7 of us joined the groom’s party in wearing kilts for the evening… and a good time was had by all. (At some point in the evening the matron of honour managed to convince the kilt wearing gentlemen present to “go commando” – I can’t recommend it unless one is wearing a long undershirt… that heavy weight wool can chafe sumthin’ fierce!) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/71 "2010-10-11T06:54:50Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > > [@Malthus](#): > > > > Your guests may have found breathing to be a bit of a challenge. 😉 > > LOL, ok, ok, I got married AT the aquarium! Yeesh, a sister can’t buy a break around this joint. Just for that I demand that you admire [some wedding pictures](http://www.lifemagical.com/index.php?c=2076&p=1). ADMIRE, damn you!!! OMG! You look like you were having fun! How dare you! Brides are supposed to look either dyspeptic or stoned! (Well, a lot of them do) ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/72 "2010-10-11T15:31:53Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > > [@Hello\_Again](#): > > > > LOL, ok, ok, I got married AT the aquarium! Yeesh, a sister can’t buy a break around this joint. Just for that I demand that you admire [some wedding pictures](http://www.lifemagical.com/index.php?c=2076&p=1). ADMIRE, damn you!!! > > OMG! You look like you were having fun! How dare you! Brides are supposed to look either dyspeptic or stoned! (Well, a lot of them do) Is that actually a thing? My mom loves to tell the story, based on a wedding photo of her coming down the aisle on the arm of her brother (their father was confined to a wheelchair and couldn’t even come into the church due to the fact it was the early 1970s and not everyone had ramps), her with a beaming smile and him looking angry. Apparently he’d been repeatedly whispering “This is the most serious day of your life, you shouldn’t be smiling like that, you look like a fool.” ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/73 "2010-10-11T16:25:40Z")
I don’t know about that, but there’s an absolutely hysterical photo of my aunt’s wedding day floating around somewhere–it’s taken in the limo on the way to the ceremony, my aunt in her full late-80s wedding regalia (giant poofy hideous dress, floral headdress, the whole shebang) is sitting next to my grandmother in her full-on late-80s mother-of-the-bride regalia (there’s a lot of spangles) and BOTH of them are looking equal parts pissed off and upset, staring out opposite sides of the limo. I have a sneaking suspicion that my dad, the wedding photographer, took the photo not because it was a special moment to cherish, but because he thought it would be a fantastic way to make his little sister insane in coming years. Twenty years later: what do you know? It still works! ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/74 "2010-10-11T16:56:24Z")
Also, people shouldn’t be afraid of declining an invitation (to ANY social event) if something about it makes them ill at ease – and those doing the inviting should not see that as an affront, either. It’s supposed to be an invitation to share a happy event, not a command performance (and definitely it’s not a test of what you’ll do to show you care). That said, well yeah, there are themes and then there are themes, for better or worse some will be found by the average citizen to be easier to go along with. A luau-wedding in the sand with Aloha shirts, muumuus and torches will still be more widely socially accepted than the Tolkien Hobbit theme because the average population is more used to the former pop-culture idiom. (BTW why do I have the strong suspicion that there are a whole frakkin’ lot more \*Elvish-\*theme weddings?) BTW the abovementioned idea of loaner tabards at a Ren/Fantasy theme is kind of interesting and a good idea for these types of events… give the non-fan guest a way to symbolically join in. An overgarment, a headgear, something that goes along with the idea but does not make them be _entirely_ in costume: that shows BOTH sides willing to lighten up. And even then they can still sit with grandma snarking at others’ outfits… ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/75 "2010-10-11T17:04:38Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Is that actually a thing? My mom loves to tell the story, based on a wedding photo of her coming down the aisle on the arm of her brother (their father was confined to a wheelchair and couldn’t even come into the church due to the fact it was the early 1970s and not everyone had ramps), her with a beaming smile and him looking angry. Apparently he’d been repeatedly whispering “This is the most serious day of your life, you shouldn’t be smiling like that, you look like a fool.” Maybe it was a “thing” at some point, but it isn’t anymore in my experience. I’ve been to over 200 weddings, and brides are usually positively beaming when they come down the aisle. I’ve never heard anyone express displeasure at that. Heck, even at Roman Catholic masses, the priest is often cracking jokes and making the bride and groom laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/76 "2010-10-14T00:26:58Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > I think you all need play therapy. It’s FUN! It’s supposed to be FUN! Have some FUN, guys! > > And if you dont think it’s fun, and intend to go half-assed or sit around with a sour face all night expressing you disapproval of all this FUN happening around you, then please, please do the bride a favor and just stay home. The thing is, if you don’t go (because you think the whole thing is silly and know you’re just going to be in a bad mood and ruin for everyone else) then there’s quite a good likelihood the Bride and Groom might take offence (especially if you’re a good friend), and no matter how much you insist the reason you don’t want to come is because you hate LOTR/Star Wars/The Middle Ages and don’t want to dress up, they’re still likely to take it as an affront to them personally. In other words, being invited to theme weddings where you’re not into the theme isn’t fun, basically. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/77 "2010-10-14T22:10:04Z")
Well, if it was something I thought would be fun, that I was into or could relate to, maybe. If it was something that made me feel silly or foolish, then no, sorry. It’s like anything, some people will be on board, others not getting it at all. As long as the majority of the people who matter to you, are on board, it’s all good. And, of course, as long as you graciously accept it’s not for everyone, there will be a few who opt out, don’t hold it against them, is all. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/78 "2010-10-14T22:27:43Z")
You guys are uptight. One of you said that you thought less of your friend when you heard she’d had one? I hope you told her that so that she’d have the chance to think less of you. Even though I think you party-poopers are having an overreaction the reason I don’t want one for myself is one that’s been mentioned: When I heard about the couple who had a Halo themed wedding I didn’t think “they sure love each other”, I thought “they sure love Halo”. The idea of a themed wedding would normally appeal to me (the chance to make a fool of myself and everyone around me? faggudaboutit) but I think that’s one of the few days I’d like to take seriously. But… now that I think about it… a Betazoid wedding sounds interesting… ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151/79 "2010-10-15T18:00:36Z")
I think it’s stupid, but it’s your wedding, have fun. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theme-weddings-fun-or-stupid/556151.md?page=3)