# Then Santa Claus Showed Up With Chocolate Cake **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 17, 2004, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576 "2004-05-17T12:07:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/101 "2004-05-21T13:51:04Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > **Ex** called me **Angel Pants**. Y’all are my witnesses. > > So, what should I blackmail him for? A year’s supply of beer or a year’s supply of hand dipped chocolates. The “year’s supply” being my definition of a year’s supply. 😃 > > BTW, **Tupug** I’m still waiting on that doctor’s excuse. Keep yer drawers on, **Swampy** , it takes time for them to deliver those online degrees, ya know. Heck, you want this doctor’s note to look all official and no-nonsense, don’tcha? As far as furniture goes, I must reveal a deep and shameful secret. ☹ My living room furniture came from Rooms To Go. It’s just that I get bored with it after a couple of years of big young adults have flopped all over it and six pairs of doggie feet have run rampant. There I said it. I feel much better now. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/102 "2004-05-21T13:52:28Z")
**COOL!** I started Page 3. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/103 "2004-05-21T14:12:32Z")
> [@Tupug Anachi](#): > > Keep yer drawers on, **Swampy** , it takes time for them to deliver those online degrees, ya know. Heck, you want this doctor’s note to look all official and no-nonsense, don’tcha? > > As far as furniture goes, I must reveal a deep and shameful secret. ☹ My living room furniture came from Rooms To Go. It’s just that I get bored with it after a couple of years of big young adults have flopped all over it and six pairs of doggie feet have run rampant. There I said it. I feel much better now. **Tupug** not to worry. I generally do keep my drawers on during the day. Although every once in a while I do have an occasion to do otherwise. 😉 So, I’m thinkin’ maybe yer online degree should be in Psychiatry. Seems that’d be more plausible to have a Psychiatrist giving me a written note to excuse me from stoopid meetings. I’m curious, does Rooms to Go have like a drive thru? Do you just pull up to the speaker and order a number three with extra scatter rugs? Can you supersize your order by adding, say, an extra ottoman? Do they have a sign out front saying how many rooms they’ve sold? Can you get any kinda room? Even a bathroom? If that’s true then that’d be a cool store. 🆒 **Rue** you could always use white chalk to whiten your teeth. Or one of those white out sticks maybe. The white out stick would probably work better cause they’re usually kinda thin and I’d think you’d be able to reach waaaaaaaaay back in yer mouth and get all the back teeth too. Let us know how that comes out, ok? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/104 "2004-05-21T14:14:33Z")
Oh, one more thing. **Tupug** one of your dogs only has two legs? Or do you have three two legged dogs? That’s just wierd. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/105 "2004-05-21T14:45:06Z")
I think I only noticed that **welby** wasn’t around because he wasn’t posting to irritate you, **Ex**. Brain of a gerbil, me. Can’t pay attention to anything for very long. Better than a goldfish, I guess. I will let **swampy** continue in his delusion that I have any interior decorating sense at all. I can’t pack yet, and it’s killing me. We’re not moving for a month, and I want to pack NOW! All of those sentences started with “I”. What a self-centred person I must be. They’ve taken off the automatic sig function, so why is the email notification still on? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/106 "2004-05-21T15:45:50Z")
> [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > I will let swampy continue in his delusion that I have any interior decorating sense at all. Of course you have interior decorating sense. Your style is eclectic, spontaneous, mad, mod and fab! At least that’s what you should tell everyone. Then they’ll envy your bohemian flair for the unique and whimsical. See, there you are. You have your own unique style of decorating. 😉 -swampbear (who watches waaaaaaaaay to much HGTV) ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/107 "2004-05-21T16:08:54Z")
Well, shoot, I had a whole post put in here and SOMETHING ate it. I had posted about my dirty little secrets, and the fact that I would probably buy some of those baskets that **Swampy** had suggested and the fact that those baskets could be had for a song, so that wouldn’t use the whole amount of money I could spend. I also told **Ex** that we always notice his absence. I mean, what would we do without our **Ex?** I posted a bunch of other stuff too, but now I can’t remember it all. So, this will have to do. Oh, since we haven’t heard from **FCM** , I hope all is going well for her and the big move. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/108 "2004-05-21T16:34:24Z")
I’m still worried about mime sperm. No particular reason, but it beats worrying about some of the other stuff I could worry about. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/109 "2004-05-21T16:42:20Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > I’m still worried about mime sperm. > No particular reason, but it beats worrying about some of the other stuff I could worry about. I think we’d all do well to worry about mime sperm. I mean what if they start using it to procreate? Mimes would be everywhere! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/110 "2004-05-21T17:13:06Z")
Mimes could be everywhere, but you’d never hear about it. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/111 "2004-05-21T17:23:42Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > Mimes could be everywhere, but you’d never hear about it. They could be just inches from your face trying to break through the invisible wall that surrounds every mime. I’m scared! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/112 "2004-05-21T17:38:04Z")
Hey, I made chocolate cake last night! I just wanted to support the thread title, though I look nothing like Santa Claus and I brought it for classified employee day, not a picnic. The peanut butter pie was a no go since my car’s still in the shop and I had to make something with ingredients on hand. I cleaned my fridge of eggs and whipping cream and my candy jar took a direct hit right in the chocolate bar region. It’s not looking too great for my car, sad to say. It now seems as though the best I can hope for is 800 bucks worth of damage. If it turns out to be even worse, I’ll be buying a new car. My wonderful little car, that’s served me beautifully for nearly ten years, is worth about three thousand dollars according to the blue book. This shocks me because I paid a heck of a lot more. Yes, red goes with purple. Take it from me, I’m an art teacher and I know these things. You see, red and purple are on opposite sides of the color wheel, so they’re complimentary. They have to look good together, because it would be rude if they didn’t, since they’re complimentary colors. Hah! I crack me up. Also, remember that a good dose of eclectic decorating helps to avoid the dread matchy matchies. **Ex** , I’ll pick a fight with you if you miss **welby** so. Soft cheeses are delicious and snails are pretty good too. Mmmmm, escargot and brie, nummers. Berets are silly on grown men though. And mimes and their sperm are a no go too. I’m not doing too well with this fight starting am I? **Welby** , get in here, we need you! Also; Happy Birthday to meeee, happy birthday to meeeeee! I’m now officially old. **Bumba** , but but, they’re black pumpkins that look like _giant poo_. Grow those puppies right in the front yard. Genius always finds a way, small garden or not. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/113 "2004-05-21T17:56:19Z")
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to **Ashes, Ashes**! ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/114 "2004-05-21T18:01:53Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > I said my teeth are clean **Swampy** , not bright. The dentist started talking about how they have this new whitening procedure that only takes an hour and my teeth would be super sparkly. When I got my crown (six months ago) they matched the color so no one would notice my second last molar wasn’t the same color as my other teeth and they had to go at least a third back, maybe halfway, on the tooth chart. At least I was closer to “Blindingly White” than I was to “How Much Exactly Do You Smoke?”. My front 6 teeth are capped. Spent all my bonus money (back when I actually got bonus money - ah, the mid 90’s) getting it done. Wasn’t a cosmetic thing - kept getting cavities in the front teeth because the enamel didn’t form right. Mom has same thing. So - I take very, very good care of my teeth now. I had a good dentist - he was my dentist from when I was a little girl. He did such a good job that the hygenist at my last appointment said she couldn’t tell they were capped until she was actually in my mouth. I freaked the dentist out once - he was drilling a cavity that we thought didn’t need novacaine. Hit a nerve - I jumped - he jumped. Since then, he’s always asked me if I was SURE I didn’t need novacaine on the fillings. And to go with the cooking theme here - planning to make lasagna on Sunday, and raspberry cream cheese brownies to go with it. Yum. Chocolate. Movie night tomorrow night - and dinner out with friends. Susan ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/115 "2004-05-21T18:39:14Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > **Bumba** , but but, they’re black pumpkins that look like _giant poo_. Grow those puppies right in the front yard. Genius always finds a way, small garden or not. But what do they _taste_ like **Ashes**? Do they taste like regular pumpkins? I’ll look for them, but if I can’t find my yellow tomatoes, I don’t hold out too much hope for black pumpkins. BTW, what’s classified employee day? How are you classified? Are you Top Secret?Or Top Drawer? I’ll bet you’re Top Drawer, huh? One more thing; forty ain’t old, okay? Bumbazine - settin’ out mime sperm traps, just in case. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/116 "2004-05-21T18:42:53Z")
\ clearing throat\ **HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!! HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!! HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY DEEEAAAARRRR AAAASHES, AAAASHES!!! HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/117 "2004-05-21T18:43:31Z")
> [@Bumbazine](#): > > Bumbazine - settin’ out mime sperm traps, just in case. That has got do be the single wrongest thing I’ve read all day. My hat’s off, sir. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/118 "2004-05-21T19:07:23Z")
I just proposed to a bunch of y’all in [this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=257416) Feel free to decline if you wish. Anyone who I didn’t propose to, feel free to include yourselves in the proposal if you are so inclined. What the heck. What’s a few more or a few less? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/119 "2004-05-21T19:08:51Z")
Oh, and _mime sperm traps_ BAND NAME! ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/120 "2004-05-21T19:21:27Z")
Good question **Bumba** , I don’t remember what the catalog said about flavor. I hope flavor wouldn’t follow form, you are correct. On the other hand, imagine the looks on people’s faces as they walked by and saw your giant poo growing. That would be worth not being able to eat them. Have you tried Shepard’s Seeds for your yellow 'maters? There’s Seed Savers and on [Thathomesite.com](http://Thathomesite.com), they have gardening forums where people might be able to hook you up. Why couldn’t I remember I knew that stuff back when you first mentioned it? Oh yeah, focused on black poo-like pumpkins. Sheesh. Naw, I’m not classified Top Drawer or nothin’, I’m certified. Classified would be cool, but no, I’m a teacher with a certificate and the aids and secretaries and guards are the cool classified ones. Last week they brought us goodies and this week we’re returning the favor. You don’t wanna know how many calories are lurking in the lounge right now. Thenk yew veddy mucho for the happy birthdays. It makes turning thirty freakin’ five a little easier. Somebody get me a little paper sack, I’m hyper ventilating. Just the thought of ever having gotten this old makes my vision go a little blurry around the edges. My mental picture of mime sperm traps is frightening and disturbing in the extreme. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576.md?page=7)