# Then Santa Claus Showed Up With Chocolate Cake **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 17, 2004, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576 "2004-05-17T12:07:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/121 "2004-05-21T19:24:55Z")
Thirty-five? You’re getting all angsty about turning _thirty-five_? Shoot, yer just a baby. ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/122 "2004-05-21T19:26:57Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > While a floating tank would be hell for cool, I think keeping me happy is a lost cause right now. Cheer up! You can probably find one of [these](http://battletanks.com/pt-76.htm) fairly easily on the surplus market. Think of the envy of all the other Real Men™ in the neighbourhood. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/123 "2004-05-21T19:35:58Z")
**Swampy** , Psychiatry it is! I expect my diploma to arrive any day now from the Leakey University School of Voodoo, er, I mean Psychiatric Medicine in Costa Maraca. Rooms to Go doesn’t have a drive up winder that I know of but you can order complete rooms online and they _deliver_! I know you can order a bedroom right down to the curtains and linens but maybe we’d best leave the bathrooms to the Home Depot. There aren’t any **Tripod** doggies living with me. They all have the right number of paws. Perhaps an explanation is in order. (Ahem) Currently there are four dogs in residence. Three of them are the ill-mannered mini couch climbers. (The dogs are minis…not the couch) Dog number four belongs to The Princess and because he bears (I said bears, heh, heh) a striking resemblence to Chewbaca, isn’t allowed on the furniture. Not that he would anyway…he’s much too polite. Does that clear things up for ya? And, now, I need to go read all the mimey sperm threads to see if I need comment. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/124 "2004-05-21T19:42:59Z")
> [@Bookkeeper](#): > > Cheer up! You can probably find one of [these](http://battletanks.com/pt-76.htm) fairly easily on the surplus market. Think of the envy of all the other Real Men™ in the neighbourhood. Whoa! I bet I wouldn’t have any more trouble with crappy drivers and parking space either. Plus I could just skip that stupid bridge every day. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/125 "2004-05-21T19:52:42Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > Whoa! > > I bet I wouldn’t have any more trouble with crappy drivers and parking space either. Plus I could just skip that stupid bridge every day. Wouldn’t it be cool with tin cans and bows tied on it with a big ol’ “Just Married” sign on the back? Good, that takes care of transportation. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/126 "2004-05-21T20:46:09Z")
**Ashes,** **HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR AAAASHES! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUU**! Heck, if 40 ain’t old, neither is 35…I speak from experience. Hell, in my book 60 isn’t old. Funny, how the older YOU get, the younger the OLDER people seem to be. All this talk of mime sperm is rather…disturbing. I mean, do the little swimmers swim in little invisible boxes??? ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/127 "2004-05-21T20:50:13Z")
Mime sperm do that swimming against the wind thing - that’s why so few of them actually make it anywhere… Then they pretend to pull their tail and pick invisible flowers from the walls of the uterus. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/128 "2004-05-21T20:55:55Z")
I’m quoting **swampy** from the other thread that he linked to up there: > [@](#): > > **Bumbazine, Exgineer, Rue DeDay, ShibbOleth, welby** (the fun men in Rue’s MMP threads). ☹ I know I don’t post all that often, but I’ll try harder! Really! And I have beer! No cookies, though. And I’m not really sure how I rate on the burly scale. But I have beer! ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/129 "2004-05-21T21:12:48Z")
**lightingtool** , I wasn’t one of the ladies mentioned. That means I’m available. Will YOU marry ME? I won’t even drink your beer, I promise! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/130 "2004-05-21T21:16:58Z")
😛 I’m out of my league with the mime sperm thing so I think I’ll leave it alone. **Ashes** , happiest of birthdays to you. ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/131 "2004-05-21T21:20:30Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > **lightingtool** , I wasn’t one of the ladies mentioned. That means I’m available. > > Will YOU marry ME? I won’t even drink your beer, I promise! 😃 I was going to propose to you in the other thread **scout** , but since we’ve wondered at times if we are the same person, I didn’t think it wise. If we are two different people, I have enough trouble handling myself at times, much less another person just like me. And if we are the same person, it gets into a mucho weird place - but that’s normal in Rue’s threads. Susan/scout/third personality to be named (I cracked up at the mime sperm swimming against the wind, **tanookie**. ) ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/132 "2004-05-21T21:54:27Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > Thirty-five? You’re getting all angsty about turning _thirty-five_? > > Shoot, yer just a baby. I love you for this. Oh yes, good news on my car. It’s not dead just sick. I’ll have my baby back by next friday at the latest. Good mechanics rule. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/133 "2004-05-21T23:03:32Z")
Heh. When you were posting about buying furniture the other day, **susan** , I reflected on our similarities yet again. What a birthday gift, **Ashes**! Phew. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/134 "2004-05-22T03:33:51Z")
Wade A. Minute. It’s **Ashes[sup]2[/sup]** birthday too? **ahem** **HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!! HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!! HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY DEEEAAAARRRR ASSSHESSSSS[SUP]2[/SUP]!!! HAAAAPPPPYYYY BIIIIRTHDAAAAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!!** **WHEW** **My** birthday is June 2nd. I’m just sayin’ ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/135 "2004-05-22T15:35:54Z")
I am going to eat peanut butter oie for breakfast. :goes into kitchen, gets enormous glob of pie, comes back and sits down: I am currently eating peanut butter pie. Everyone should envy me. It’s great. Is it okay if I get lazy and accept your proposal in this thred, **swampbear**? And is it okay that I’m aslo married to **interface2x**? He proposed a while ago. And thank you for making me feel better about my interior design. If nothing else, it’s certainly unique. Yesterday, I gave in and bought more books. I also found out that I get 40% off the remaindered books. This means 40% off books that were originally, say, $30, and are now $5.99. I find myself strangely compelled by completely useless books now. I almost bought a history of jello. I got me a copy of Diana Gabaldon’s _The Fiery Cross_ and Mr. Lissar an illustrated copy of Dylan Thomas’ poem _Fern Hill_. I’ll give it to him whenever he wakes up. **Ashes** , have a birthday slice (or glob) of virtual peanut butter pie. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/136 "2004-05-22T17:33:29Z")
> [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > I am going to eat peanut butter pie for breakfast. > > … > > I got me a copy of Diana Gabaldon’s _The Fiery Cross_ and Mr. Lissar an illustrated copy of Dylan Thomas’ poem _Fern Hill_. I’ll give it to him whenever he wakes up. > > **Ashes** , have a birthday slice (or glob) of virtual peanut butter pie. Yum, peanut butter pie and Dylan Thomas. Nice combo. I used to work at this restaurant, now defunct, that was famous for it’s sandwiches and desserts. One of the desserts was frozen peanut butter pie. I think that they used sour cream instead of cream cheese (I could be wrong) and they’d put the whole thing in a giant Hobart mixer and fluff it up nice and light. Then they’d pour the fluffy mixture into a chocolate graham cracker crust and freeze it solid. We’d let it thaw just a bit before cutting it. Then you serve with ample hot fudge poured over the top. D-licious! A good friend of mine was the head cook at that restaurant. I bet he still has the recipe or remembers how to make that. Anyone interested in the recipe? If so I’ll track him down and get it. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/137 "2004-05-23T00:49:45Z")
Just as some of you keep returning to peanut butter pie (which has very little appeal to me, although smothering it in hot fudge sause raises the ante a bit), I keep returning to mime sperm. Correct me if I’m wrong **Bumbazine** , but wouldn’t a mime sperm trap be an invisible box? Or would an invisible box be as difficult to get into as out of? Is it a sin to spill mime sperm on the ground? How about if it gets spilled on the couch? Or the backseat of a car? I’m sure some mime sperm would be distracting from trying to swim against the wind by a tug-of-war game with an imaginary rope. And if one of the little rascals actually made it to the egg, would it fertilize the egg, or only mime fertilizing it (her?)? If we were to move on to mime pregnancy, could this sentence have more than one interpretation? Anyone still willing to marry me? Cause I won’t stop, people. I’m just going to continue to be weird. I’m not outgrowing it, I’m not hiding it, I’m just not going to be normal, and that’s that. I’m worth it. I’m weird, but I’m bodacious. I’m just saying . . . ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/138 "2004-05-23T03:56:48Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > Correct me if I’m wrong **Bumbazine** , but wouldn’t a mime sperm trap be an invisible box? They’re ovoid, and vewwy, vewwy quiet. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/139 "2004-05-23T15:00:48Z")
I’m interested in the recipe. So sleepy. Got home at 2:00 a.m. What am I doing up at this time? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576/140 "2004-05-24T00:57:34Z")
> [@lightingtool](#): > > I’m quoting **swampy** from the other thread that he linked to up there: > ☹ > > I know I don’t post all that often, but I’ll try harder! Really! And I have beer! No cookies, though. And I’m not really sure how I rate on the burly scale. But I have beer! **lightingtool** will you marry me? **Lissla** I am humbled by your acceptance. **Ex** accepted too. Do I need to start auditioning bands and getting quotes from caterers? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/then-santa-claus-showed-up-with-chocolate-cake/245576.md?page=8)