There are people who think of God as external to themselves, and vindictive and powerful. Probably a few who think of God as external to themselves but doddering and irrelevant. My God is something who speaks to me, a way of having cognitions and understanding things, and not external but participatory… I am not always God but God is a valid sense of self.
Ntozake Shange once had her dancers sing “I found god in myself and I love her fiercely”. Yeah, that. I have found the connections to others, and the shared plural sense of identity with others, from something that had its roots within me. And I kept asking larger questions, wanting to know, wanting to understand. One day the available connections were to everything, were to That Which Is. A Superplural sense of identity. To be part of the All. Everything interconnected. To be a process, to be a verb, a dance; to conjure with the voice that once said “Let there be light”, to stand up and be the point of initiative, to say I, to step forth and be so that it can be true that things are a certain way because somebody stood up and said “I am”, or “I got that”. Not passively waiting but making it be, being the reason that it is. Volition. But a volition merged and meshes with the interplay with other people.