# There are no good cow jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 2002, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298 "2002-11-05T01:50:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/61 "2002-12-05T05:54:11Z")
[http://www.bestcreatives.com/MadCow.html](http://www.bestcreatives.com/MadCow.html) Pg-13 ish 😉 ---
**Author:** ![fizgig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/62 "2002-12-05T05:54:31Z")
An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is. “These, senor,” replied the waiter in broken English, “are the cojones, how you say, the testicles, of the bull killed in the ring today.” The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the dish and thought it was delicious. So he comes back the next evening and orders the same item. When it is served, he says to the waiter, “These cojones, or whatever you call them
are much smaller than the ones I had last night.” “Yes, senor,” replied the waiter, “You see
the bull, he does not always lose.” Eh, you’re right. No good cow jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/63 "2002-12-06T08:41:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by grendel72 \* > \*\*Una vaca visitaba la ciudad cuando un muchacho le ayudĂł a travĂ©s de la calle. Ella dijo a Ă©l, “Moo-i bueno.” \*\* Moo-chas gracias!! ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/64 "2002-12-06T11:37:47Z")
DanielWinthrow: color me stupid, but I don’t get it. 😕 Can someone explain it to me? Please? ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/65 "2002-12-06T13:27:58Z")
I don’t get it either, **Daniel** Sun’s rays meet? Focus
 ::so confused:: ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/66 "2002-12-06T13:46:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazelle from Hell \* > \*\*I don’t get it either, **Daniel** > > Sun’s rays meet? > > Focus
 > > ::so confused:: \*\* Well, dammit, **I** find it intellectually satisfying! You got it, Gazelle: a triple pun in which each word is a different part of speech and fits together to make a different sentence. I like it, anyway. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/67 "2002-12-06T14:32:37Z")
Here’s mine. It’s a bit dated, as you might be able to tell from the subject matter. So two cows are in a barn, eating hay, chatting. “So, Bessie, I’ve been hearing there’s mad cow disease going around. It’s gotten me kind of nervous.” “Really?” “Yeah! You’re not nervous?” “Nah. It doesn’t affect peguins.” ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/68 "2002-12-06T14:43:43Z")
MOOO! moo moo mooo moo moo? MOOO!!! ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/69 "2002-12-06T14:49:27Z")
In a thread explaining the origins of cow-orker, **flodnak** said: > [@](#): > > 1. jokes involving cows are funny and 2. jokes involving cows and funny words (“Ork! Ork! Ork!”) are very funny. ---
**Author:** ![Morrison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Morrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrison)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/70 "2002-12-06T17:48:36Z")
Where do cows go for fun? To the Mooooooooooooooooooooooovies! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/71 "2002-12-06T18:42:26Z")
A tractor salesman, having a slow day, was driving around the county. He stopped when he saw a farmer, who had a bull hitched up to a plow. The salesman rushed over and started his tractor pitch. The farmer told him he already had two fine tractors. “Then why are you plowing with a bull?” asked the perplexed salesman. “I’m just trying to show this stupid hunk of beef that there’s more to farming than f\<\>king and tearing up fences.” –Nott ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/72 "2002-12-06T20:11:57Z")
From the song “Cows With Guns” by Dana Lyons: > [@](#): > > Nobody thunk it, nobody knew, > No one imagined the great cow guru. > Cows are one. > > He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal, > He loved Che Guevara - a revolutionary veal. > Cao Tse Tung. > > He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred, > He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd. > Cows doldrums. > > He mooed: “We must fight, escape or we’ll die,” > Cows gathered around, 'cause the steaks were so high. > Bad cow pun. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298/73 "2002-12-06T21:06:21Z")
What do you call a cow on a motorcycle? Kawasaki. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-good-cow-jokes/135298.md?page=3)