# There are no more new user names available on Match.com **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 24, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913 "2004-09-24T18:29:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/1 "2004-09-24T18:29:20Z")
I decided the other day that my love life sucks. So, I decided I could do worse than to sign up for a few dating sites. I started with [Match.com](http://Match.com). They want me to pick a user name. So I enter one. Hmm…already taken. I try a few more. None of them are available. They offer a few options where they add numbers to the bottom. One of them looks okay, so I enter it and hit Enter. I’m sure to get in now, right? I mean, I picked one of their options. It has to be available, right? Wrong. Already taken. Huh? I tried well over 100 names. All of them were taken. I even tried every option that they offered when my name was taken. They were all taken, too. So to sum up, my love life sucks and [Match.com](http://Match.com) is not trying to help. Oh, and [eHarmony.com](http://eHarmony.com) also told me they have no matches for me. So, any cute, single female dopers with low standards out there in the DC metro area? 😉 And since this is the Pit: FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck! ---
**Author:** ![JayElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@JayElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JayElle)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/2 "2004-09-24T18:39:24Z")
So how many "Lord Ashtar"s can there be on [match.com](http://match.com)? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/3 "2004-09-24T18:47:33Z")
I’ve never used [Match.com](http://Match.com), but I’m going to give you a list of three usernames right now, and I _guarantee_ you at least one of them will be available: 1. scabby\_penis69 2. LookinForWarmHolesToStickItIn 3. GotGonorrhea? ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/4 "2004-09-24T19:00:58Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > 1. LookinForWarmHolesToStickItIn 😃 ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/5 "2004-09-24T19:16:51Z")
I wonder if \*\*ReallyWannaDoYa \*\* is taken. Can’t hurt to try! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/6 "2004-09-24T19:23:35Z")
Well, it scans with **saramamalana,** so maybe you’re looking for somebody to write you poetry? :dubious: Woo! Romantic! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/7 "2004-09-24T19:25:09Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck! I thought that comes later. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/8 "2004-09-24T19:29:00Z")
- Peter\_Gosinia78 - HuFlungDung118 - s00p3rc00Ld00d99 ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/9 "2004-09-24T20:24:02Z")
> [@](#): > > FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck! I wonder if that one’s taken. Did you try it? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/10 "2004-09-24T20:45:08Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I’ve never used [Match.com](http://Match.com), but I’m going to give you a list of three usernames right now, and I _guarantee_ you at least one of them will be available: > > 1. scabby\_penis69 > 2. LookinForWarmHolesToStickItIn > 3. GotGonorrhea? I regret to inform you that #2 is unavailable(unless you are a hot single woman lookin for some no-strings attached fun). Enjoy, LookinForWarmHolesToStickItIn ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/11 "2004-09-24T20:51:22Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > I regret to inform you that #2 is unavailable(unless you are a **hot single woman** lookin for some no-strings attached fun). > > Enjoy, > LookinForWarmHolesToStickItIn (emphasis mine) Hot? Single? _Woman_?? The specific nature of your request seems to imply a selectivity which is grossly misrepresented by your username, **Lookin**. Perhaps you should give up your name to someone without such high standards… ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/12 "2004-09-24T20:58:24Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > The specific nature of your request seems to imply a selectivity which is grossly misrepresented by your username, **Lookin**. Perhaps you should give up your name to someone without such high standards… You know, I heard the same bitchin and complaining somewhere before. Was that you on the other side of the glory hole in the Starbucks on 5th street? Enjoy, LookinForWarmHoleToStickItIn ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/13 "2004-09-24T21:08:35Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > You know, I heard the same bitchin and complaining somewhere before. Was that you on the other side of the glory hole in the Starbucks on 5th street? Yeah, but that was because you wouldn’t get off your cell phone. I mean, how rude is that? ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/14 "2004-09-24T21:35:04Z")
The following screen names may well be available: **MultipleMiggs** **HerpeticHeretic** **StyleNecrophile** **CrackWhorePimp EdGeinFan RohypnolWarrior QuarterInchPenis CaptainDonkeyPunch ChesterTheMolester AskMeAboutMyAnalFissure** I’m here to help. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/15 "2004-09-24T21:43:11Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > The following screen names may well be available: > > **MultipleMiggs** > **HerpeticHeretic** > **StyleNecrophile** > **CrackWhorePimp > EdGeinFan > RohypnolWarrior > QuarterInchPenis > CaptainDonkeyPunch > ChesterTheMolester > AskMeAboutMyAnalFissure** > > I’m here to help. Ya know, I’d be willing to bet money that **Tentacle Monster** is available as well… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/16 "2004-09-24T21:47:29Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > CaptainDonkeyPunch Baaaahahahaha… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/17 "2004-09-24T21:47:30Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Yeah, but that was because you wouldn’t get off your cell phone. I mean, how rude is that? Cost me $50 in phonesex charges to make it through that session. You could show a little gratitude. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/18 "2004-09-24T21:56:19Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Cost me $50 in phonesex charges to make it through that session. You could show a little gratitude. My mom _did_ need the money… ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/19 "2004-09-24T21:58:09Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > My mom **did** need the money… SHIT! That was a WOMAN!?! ---
**Author:** ![The\_world\_s\_most\_deadliest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@The\_world\_s\_most\_deadliest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_world_s_most_deadliest)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/20 "2004-09-24T21:58:54Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > The following screen names may well be available: > > /snip > \*\* > AskMeAboutMyAnalFissure\*\* > > I’m here to help. So…how’s your anal fissure? Mine’s fine, thanks. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913.md?page=2)