# There are no more new user names available on Match.com **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 24, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913 "2004-09-24T18:29:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/21 "2004-09-24T22:06:09Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > SHIT! That was a WOMAN!?! Hey, you try having seven kids AND smoking three packs of Pall Malls every day and see how soft and feminine your voice sounds. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/22 "2004-09-24T22:11:30Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Hey, you try having seven kids AND smoking three packs of Pall Malls every day and see how soft and feminine your voice sounds. Wasn’t talkin’ about the voice. Let’s just say she must have **really** needed the money. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/23 "2004-09-24T22:14:12Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Wasn’t talkin’ about the voice. Let’s just say she must have **really** needed the money. Well, the STD clinics ain’t exactly free, you know what I’m sayin’? It would help if they had some sort of punch card where your tenth visit was free, but so far no luck. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/24 "2004-09-24T22:15:58Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Well, the STD clinics ain’t exactly free, you know what I’m sayin’? It would help if they had some sort of punch card where your tenth visit was free, but so far no luck. “Buy ten pricks, get the eleventh prick for free!” ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/25 "2004-09-24T22:18:33Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > “Buy ten pricks, get the eleventh prick for free!” “Ask about our layaway plan!” ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/26 "2004-09-24T22:25:51Z")
You two should take this act on the road. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/27 "2004-09-24T22:40:45Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > You two should take this act on the road. I suggest the Starbucks on 23rd this time. The handicapped stall has really good handrails… ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/28 "2004-09-24T22:57:03Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I suggest the Starbucks on 23rd this time. The handicapped stall has really good handrails… No good, they know me there. How about the Starbucks on 22nd? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/29 "2004-09-24T23:05:21Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > No good, they know me there. How about the Starbucks on 22nd? Which one? The one where that bald guy with the eye patch overcharges for biscotti, or the one where the green-haired girl with genital warts never puts enough foam on your latte? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/30 "2004-09-24T23:11:13Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Which one? The one where that bald guy with the eye patch overcharges for biscotti, or the one where the green-haired girl with genital warts never puts enough foam on your latte? I can’t fucking stand biscotti. I’ll take genital warts and foam deficiencies any day of the week. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/31 "2004-09-24T23:13:34Z")
I was going to say that I was sure that **DirtySanchez** was available… but then, who knows? ---
**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/32 "2004-09-24T23:21:26Z")
At the risk of actually answering this post and _completely_ hijacking this thread… This is a bug the website I work for sees once in a while. E-mail them to complain, I bet it isn’t that all the possible names are taken but instead something is wonky in their membership database. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/33 "2004-09-24T23:21:39Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > I’ll take genital warts and foam deficiencies any day of the week. Well, that would explain why you’re into my mom… ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/34 "2004-09-24T23:29:15Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Well, that would explain why you’re into my mom… And out of, and into, and out of, and into… ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/35 "2004-09-24T23:31:49Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > So to sum up, my love life sucks and [Match.com](http://Match.com) is not trying to help. Oh, and [eHarmony.com](http://eHarmony.com) also told me they have no matches for me. > > So, any cute, single female dopers with low standards out there in the DC metro area? 😉 > > And since this is the Pit: FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck! Hey, there’s an UberHeteroHomoWorldWidePictorialDoperCircleJerk going on [over here, my boy…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=276941) ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/36 "2004-09-24T23:31:52Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > And out of, and into, and out of, and into… and out of. Best thirty seconds of your life. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/37 "2004-09-25T00:13:46Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > and out of. Best thirty seconds of your life. Now now, don’t go sellin yourself short. You’re still number two. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/38 "2004-09-25T02:30:46Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Oh, and [eHarmony.com](http://eHarmony.com) also told me they have no matches for me. I’ve been told that this is the standard eHarmony marketing technique. Give it a week or so and they’ll probably send matches. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2004, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/39 "2004-09-25T04:02:41Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > I decided the other day that my love life sucks. So, I decided I could do worse than to sign up for a few dating sites. > \ > > So, any cute, single female dopers with low standards out there in the DC metro area? 😉 I’m not trying to be a smartass here, but please tell me something. I travel around some, and get to DC for a few days once every year or so. Nowhere have I noticed such a disproportionately large number of attractive single women as there are in the DC area. At least this is true of the bars I’ve been in. Most of the women I’ve run into there are friendly, intelligent and seem altogether acceptable. If bars aren’t your thing, the same should be true of museums, bowling alleys, churches or 'possum races. Why, fer shit’s sake, would a guy living in the DC area try to find someone online when there’s such a wonderful selection wandering around in the neighborhood? So the first few you try don’t work out. The same will be true with meeting someone online, and believe me, it’s a lot more fun checkin’ out the prospects face-to-face than it would be checkin’ 'em out over a computer! Can you show me the flaw in my reasoning? Why do you think online is better than the girl that’s right next door or just up the street? ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/40 "2004-09-25T04:06:04Z")
Ha! I registered succesfully on the second try. JoeSki42 is now taken. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913.md?page=3)