# There are no more new user names available on Match.com **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 24, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913 "2004-09-24T18:29:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2004, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/41 "2004-09-25T05:15:17Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > … or the one where the green-haired girl with genital warts never puts enough foam on your latte? How sad is it that my first thought when I read this was, _Green hair is against Starbucks dress code._ You can take the barista out of the Starbucks, but … ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/42 "2004-09-25T05:19:03Z")
Just for gits and shiggles, I went and tried to register. Weirddave was taken, but they suggested Weirddave243 (there are 242 more of me out there?), weirddavenoogums (Noogums??? Am I to be matched with a 14 year old girl, then?) and smoochtiepooh.Smootchie fucking poo? I also have a hard time believing that one isn’t taken. Oh, I see, it’s Smooch **tie** poo **h**. What woman would answer an ad from someone calling himself smoochtiepooh? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/43 "2004-09-25T05:33:13Z")
Dude-you are definitely non-noogums material. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/44 "2004-09-27T13:51:33Z")
> [@John Carter of Mars](#): > > I’m not trying to be a smartass here, but please tell me something. I travel around some, and get to DC for a few days once every year or so. Nowhere have I noticed such a disproportionately large number of attractive single women as there are in the DC area. At least this is true of the bars I’ve been in. Most of the women I’ve run into there are friendly, intelligent and seem altogether acceptable. > > If bars aren’t your thing, the same should be true of museums, bowling alleys, churches or 'possum races. > > Why, fer shit’s sake, would a guy living in the DC area try to find someone online when there’s such a wonderful selection wandering around in the neighborhood? > > So the first few you try don’t work out. The same will be true with meeting someone online, and believe me, it’s a lot more fun checkin’ out the prospects face-to-face than it would be checkin’ 'em out over a computer! > > Can you show me the flaw in my reasoning? Why do you think online is better than the girl that’s right next door or just up the street? I just haven’t been having good luck lately. The bar scene near my place is kind of played out, and it seems that most of the girls I’d like to get involved with are married or taken. I did just meet a cute girl at a party Saturday night (and I think she digs me, too). I hope to “run into” her at a bar on Wednesday. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/45 "2004-09-27T14:01:08Z")
From a [Match.com](http://Match.com) search for lord\_ashtar : > [@](#): > > **Oops! Was that username spelled correctly?** > > Try again, and if you still receive this message, the member you’re searching for may have a hidden profile or new username. I think I just found you a username. You’re welcome. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/46 "2004-09-27T14:11:27Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > I’ve been told that this is the standard eHarmony marketing technique. Give it a week or so and they’ll probably send matches. Beats me. I got _rejected_ my eHarmony. From the site: > [@](#): > > We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish and enjoy happy, lasting relationships that we choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match. From an Pasadena Star-News article quoted on the eHarmony Web site: > [@](#): > > Warren says more than 350,000 people who have taken the personality test have been denied access to the service. He said people are rejected because the test showed they were not emotionally healthy, or because they tested to be especially "obstreperous,’ the eHarmony description of a person who’s difficult to live with. I guess that means I’m unloveable, huh? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/47 "2004-09-27T14:39:13Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > “We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish and enjoy happy, lasting relationships that we choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.” I got that too, then they started sending “matches” by e-mail a couple of days later. I think they do this to give you the impression that they are very selective about their choice. (I didn’t become a paying member - at least not yet - so I have no idea how well it works.) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/48 "2004-09-27T18:00:20Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I’ve never used [Match.com](http://Match.com), but I’m going to give you a list of three usernames right now, and I _guarantee_ you at least one of them will be available: > > 1. scabby\_penis69 > 2. LookinForWarmHolesToStickItIn > 3. GotGonorrhea? You could try LookinForW **o** rmHolesToStickItIn and see how many space faring transdimensional babes respond. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/49 "2004-09-27T18:05:24Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > I got that too, then they started sending “matches” by e-mail a couple of days later. I think they do this to give you the impression that they are very selective about their choice. (I didn’t become a paying member - at least not yet - so I have no idea how well it works.) Same here. Initially rejected and then sent matches a week later. And then agian and again, dropping the proposed rate numerous times. I didn’t really mind being rejected; I filled it out for amusement and don’t really like a lot of what I’ve read about the site. I don’t think being “obstreperous” is such a bad thing. (of course, that coudl explain why I’m still single tho’ 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/50 "2004-09-27T18:39:52Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > You two should take this act on the road. How about stand-up? This is really funny. it’s not like I can explain why I’m giggling anyway. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/51 "2004-09-28T11:50:33Z")
My brother’s online name is ivanichianus2. Apparently people still talk to him. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/52 "2004-09-28T16:57:08Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > So, any cute, single female dopers with low standards out there in the DC metro area? 😉 Hi, cute single female doper from the DC metro area here! 😉 Judging from some past boyfriends, one might say I have low standards! hehehe. However, I’m working on it! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/53 "2004-09-28T17:01:32Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > I guess that means I’m unloveable, huh? ☹ No, it means you’re not the generic, cookie-cutter robot that eHarmony is looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/54 "2004-09-28T17:37:51Z")
I have given loads of thought to your dilemma and have carefully thought of the following usernames that may work: \*\*The Donger 1982Camaro MulletMan TrailerParkTom UberTroll ScaryClownFaces Car\_full\_of\_scary\_Clowns Its\_In\_Da\_Hole Nearsighted\_Dorkarama Lives\_With\_Mom Sheep\_Farker Gerbil\_Stuffer 10Inch\_Cuke Barbie-Doll-Collector Likes\_Longeberger Was\_Featured\_On\_Cops Shut\_The\_Fuck\_Up&Cook\_Me\_Something\_Bitch \*\* Hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/55 "2004-09-28T17:57:39Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > Hi, cute single female doper from the DC metro area here! 😉 Judging from some past boyfriends, one might say I have low standards! hehehe. However, I’m working on it! Uh oh, I’m a little out of practice here…how does this work? So, **nyctea scandiaca** , how you _ **DOIN’** _? Dammit, that’s not right! How _ **YOU** _ doin’? There, that more like it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/56 "2004-09-28T18:07:50Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > **Shut\_The\_Fuck\_Up&Cook\_Me\_Something\_Bitch** I like this one. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/57 "2004-09-28T18:23:31Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I have given loads of thought to your dilemma and have carefully thought of the following usernames that may work: > … > **Lives\_With\_Mom** > … > Hope this helps. This one is also taken. I registered it this weekend after a fling that I hope **Giraffe** never finds out about[sub] at least not until after family gatherings for the holidays are done.[/sub] Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/58 "2004-09-28T18:33:53Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Uh oh, I’m a little out of practice here…how does this work? > > So, **nyctea scandiaca** , how you _ **DOIN’** _? > > Dammit, that’s not right! > > How _ **YOU** _ doin’? > > There, that more like it. 😃 I’m doing great. 😃 How YOU doin’?? Hey when you get your Match profile up, link it here! I wanna take a look! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/59 "2004-09-28T18:41:51Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > This one is also taken. I registered it this weekend after a fling that I hope **Giraffe** never finds out about[sub] at least not until after family gatherings for the holidays are done.[/sub] Nah, mom put it up on her website about fifteen minutes after you left. She has all your stuff in the “chicks with dicks” section, in spite of my protestations that you are way too hairy to pass for a chick, even with the big boobs. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/60 "2004-09-28T18:47:52Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > Hey when you get your Match profile up, link it here! I wanna take a look! 😉 Will do. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913.md?page=4)