# There are no more new user names available on Match.com **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 24, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913 "2004-09-24T18:29:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/61 "2004-09-28T19:51:13Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Nah, mom put it up on her website about fifteen minutes after you left. She has all your stuff in the “chicks with dicks” section, in spite of my protestations that you are way too hairy to pass for a chick, even with the big boobs. You’re just mad that the hit counters on my page are higher than the pages with you on them. Although I must admit that picture of you that used to be on goatse.cx seemed to get a bit of traffic. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/62 "2004-09-28T19:51:59Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Will do. 😉 Lookin’ forward to it! Maybe I will send you a “wink!” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/63 "2004-09-28T20:44:18Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > You’re just mad that the hit counters on my page are higher than the pages with you on them. Although I must admit that picture of you that used to be on goatse.cx seemed to get a bit of traffic. I think you’ve got me mixed up with my brother. And you’re dreaming if you think you get even close to the hits he does. _He_ is an Internet celebrity. You’re just some hairy guy who talks on his cell phone during sex. (My mom was sort of pissed about that until I told her you do it to everyone, not just her.) ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/64 "2004-09-28T20:51:48Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > I like this one. But not as memorable as **GetYourBitchAssBackInTheKitchenAndMakeMeSomePie2484** ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/65 "2004-09-28T20:51:59Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I think you’ve got me mixed up with my brother. And you’re dreaming if you think you get even close to the hits he does. **He** is an Internet celebrity. You’re just some hairy guy who talks on his cell phone during sex. (My mom was sort of pissed about that until I told her you do it to everyone, not just her.) Damn, how many members of your family have I shagged anonymously through stall walls? Guess I should start keeping track. The instances where the hole in the wall is smaller than the hole on the other side are probably all you guys. Family resemblence and all that. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/66 "2004-09-28T21:25:58Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > No, it means you’re not the generic, cookie-cutter robot that eHarmony is looking for. So, how _ **YOU** _ doin’? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/67 "2004-09-29T11:45:31Z")
Other names that may work: **HelloFatCoont** **StinkyFat** **PimpleBoy** **Mr.Masterbater** **Drives\_A\_Pinto** **Mr. Sansabelt** **Mr. XXXXL** **PamperMeNow** **Rub\_My\_Stinky\_Feet\_Slut** ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/68 "2004-09-29T13:16:57Z")
**StomaMan** **NeedleTracks** **EverythingInTheDSMIV** **RejectedByEHarmony** **Faecephile** **TubBoy** **BasementDweller** **Shingles7231** ---
**Author:** ![Eolbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@Eolbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eolbo)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/69 "2004-09-29T13:44:20Z")
BiTcHB3aT3R is possibly available. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/70 "2004-09-29T13:51:12Z")
**StromThurmon’sLoveChild** is still available. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/71 "2004-09-29T16:07:54Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Damn, how many members of your family have I shagged anonymously through stall walls? Four, if you count the pig we bring along when we’re not in the mood. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/72 "2004-09-29T16:24:26Z")
Hmmmm… Let’s see now… **Bobbitt\_Boy Eunuchelhead Got\_Herpes GynoRooter 400\_Pounds\_O\_Lust Wimpenility** ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/73 "2004-09-29T17:07:34Z")
> [@](#): > > He said people are rejected because the test showed they were not emotionally healthy, or because they tested to be especially "obstreperous,’ the eHarmony description of a person who’s difficult to live with. Damn. What did you put? “Enjoys mutilating small animals for fun and profit”? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/74 "2004-09-29T17:12:07Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > Lookin’ forward to it! Maybe I will send you a “wink!” 😉 Check your email when you get a chance. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/75 "2004-09-29T21:17:26Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I have given loads of thought to your dilemma and have carefully thought of the following usernames that may work: > > \*\*The Donger > > Car\_full\_of\_scary\_Clowns > Shut\_The\_Fuck\_Up&Cook\_Me\_Something\_Bitch > > \*\* > > Hope this helps. You know, those two names would actually make me laugh and want to talk to the guy. I suppose it’s no suprise then that I’m single… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/76 "2004-09-29T22:14:13Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > You know, those two names would actually make me laugh and want to talk to the guy. > > I suppose it’s no suprise then that I’m single… 😛 Well, speaking as a guy, if I saw a woman on [match.com](http://match.com) with the username **car\_full\_of\_scary\_clowns** I would be SO happy to see something original and funny, rather than **SunnySFGirl74** and **DanceWithMe999** ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/77 "2004-09-30T01:05:39Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > GynoRooter _clench_ ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/78 "2004-09-30T01:22:25Z")
**car\_full\_of\_scary\_clowns** has me ROFL, for some reason… Better get there quick if you want that one. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/79 "2004-09-30T16:23:42Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Check your email when you get a chance. Got it! Good profile, thanks for sharing 😉 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2004, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913/80 "2004-10-01T00:07:18Z")
My turn **PervyHobbitFancier 8seconds RatherBeJackingOff WhatsThisRash DoneIn60Seconds LetsPlayBlowTheAbusiveAlcoholic RejectedByMyRealDoll JustParoled NoJobNoSkillsNoAmbition GaryColemansPunchingBag JanetRenosBoyToy RealMenDontUseCondoms IllCallYouMommyWhenICome** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-more-new-user-names-available-on-match-com/265913.md?page=5)