# There are no other "guests" here; I am a freak **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 10, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736 "2004-06-10T23:25:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/61 "2004-06-11T22:57:16Z")
Oh, and it’s mandatory that all newbies take part in every TMI thread posted during their first 90 days on the Board. Don’t be embarrassed…we won’t judge you. Much. ---
**Author:** ![sofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@sofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sofia)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/62 "2004-06-11T23:01:57Z")
cuttables? are you referring to my…? thought so. talk about tmi. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/63 "2004-06-11T23:23:01Z")
Has the newbie been flogged yet? How much did we get? ---
**Author:** ![sofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@sofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sofia)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/64 "2004-06-11T23:28:50Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > Has the newbie been flogged yet? How much did we get? $14.95? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/65 "2004-06-11T23:33:45Z")
> [@](#): > > $14.95? Actually, it was a _The Young Ones_ reference. Hey, Monty Python can’t get _all_ of the gags in this thread! ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/66 "2004-06-12T01:19:37Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > Actually, it was a _The Young Ones_ reference. Hey, Monty Python can’t get _all_ of the gags in this thread! Man, I miss the Young Ones. Freakin’ Hilarious! **sofia** I’m not showing you as a member yet…don’t make us drag Eve into this! Then you’ll get what’s coming to ya! Politeness and all kinds of class might work since the TMI doesn’t seem to be doing the trick. -K ---
**Author:** ![sofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@sofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sofia)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/67 "2004-06-12T01:42:53Z")
\*warning: shameless _My Fair Lady_ rip-off: i’m _wanting_to join you i’m _waiting_to joing you… mr. sofia is on the road with the magic money card. …and as for _The Young Ones_, “hello darkness, my old friend…” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/68 "2004-06-12T01:50:28Z")
> [@sofia](#): > > \*warning: shameless _My Fair Lady_ rip-off: > > i’m _wanting_to join you > i’m _waiting_to joing you… > mr. sofia is on the road with the magic money card. > > …and as for _The Young Ones_, “hello darkness, my old friend…” 🙂 Wow, she just orders a man and sends him places with plastic! Awesome! ---
**Author:** ![sofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@sofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sofia)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/69 "2004-06-12T01:54:10Z")
> [@Kaotic Newtral](#): > > Wow, she just orders a man and sends him places with plastic! Awesome! i only _wish_ i meant it that way… but wait! i bet i’ve got 14.95 in change in the bottom of my purse… ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/70 "2004-06-12T01:59:19Z")
> [@sofia](#): > > i only _wish_ i meant it that way… > > but wait! i bet i’ve got 14.95 in change in the bottom of my purse… That’d be ~12 pounds of change! You must have a huuuuge purse! (Actually, I haven’t calculated how much $14.95 in change would weigh…but I’m sure a doper will come along and let us know in differing currencies.) 🙂 -K ---
**Author:** ![sofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@sofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sofia)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/71 "2004-06-12T02:03:53Z")
> [@Kaotic Newtral](#): > > …but I’m sure a doper will come along and let us know in differing currencies.) > 🙂 > > -K which is why this is the place to be… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/72 "2004-06-12T02:07:42Z")
> [@sofia](#): > > which is why this is the place to be… > > 😉 Ex-freaking-actly! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/73 "2004-06-12T04:47:56Z")
Count yourself lucky, **sofia**. Two years ago or so, you’d have been pestered (by me) to enter into one of my Welcome Wagon threads, where I did my best impression of an online Don Rickles. Since I’ve been gone for a little while, it seems to me a lot of newbies have slipped through the cracks without a proper tongue-lashing. So, instead of my grumpy crotchety fake welcomes, let me just give you a straightforward welcome and a straightforward plea to see your boobies. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/74 "2004-06-12T04:53:13Z")
> [@Kaotic Newtral](#): > > (Actually, I haven’t calculated how much $14.95 in change would weigh…but I’m sure a doper will come along and let us know in differing currencies.) Well, assuming the minimum number of coins, and current issue dates: 59 quarters @ 5.71 g ea. = 336.89 g 2 dimes @ 2.26 g ea. = 4.54 g Total = 341.41 g or 12.04 oz. or .75 lb. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/75 "2004-06-12T05:12:25Z")
> [@Crunchy Frog](#): > > Count yourself lucky, **sofia**. Two years ago or so, you’d have been pestered (by me) to enter into one of my Welcome Wagon threads, where I did my best impression of an online Don Rickles. Since I’ve been gone for a little while, it seems to me a lot of newbies have slipped through the cracks without a proper tongue-lashing. > > So, instead of my grumpy crotchety fake welcomes, let me just give you a straightforward welcome and a straightforward plea to see your boobies. Well hell. You could really give her a proper welcome and Pit her. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dan\_Turk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dan\_Turk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dan_Turk)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/76 "2004-06-12T06:48:15Z")
I’m new here and all I’ve learned is: 1. Hi Opal! ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/77 "2004-06-12T06:48:42Z")
Now wait just one cotton-pickin’ minute! I lurked around for damn well near a year before I signed up a few months ago, paying promptly with credit card, not unwieldy coin, and what did I get? No mentor! (I want my mentor!) No lime jello! No small rodents or assorted animals of sacrifice of any kind! And definitely, _definitely_ no spanking! I’m _ **pissed** _. _Sigh_ Welcome to SDMB, Sofia 🙂 It’s because I joined when it was only five bucks, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/78 "2004-06-12T13:53:36Z")
Oh aren’t we all just having so much fun and jovialityness…ity. Just you wait until you say ‘hello’ to someone like **Bricker** and get lectured as to the legal ramifications of your unprompted greeting and your assumptions as to the required response thereto. Yes, I’m a crank, but I’m one of those lovable old cranks like Gabby Hayes. Well, maybe not that lovable, but certainly as lovable as, say, Walter Brennan. John Ashcroft? _ **SATAN???** _ So welcome already. I guess. ::durn furriner newcomers…grumble:: ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/79 "2004-06-12T14:12:34Z")
> [@jellyblue](#): > > No lime jello! _Lime_ jello? Who said anything about _Lime_ jello. **Irreverant Tone** said **green** jello. [sub]now where did I put that pukey smiley?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736/80 "2004-06-12T14:19:41Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Well hell. You could really give her a proper welcome and Pit her. 🙂 Good point. Let’s go then newbie! [To the PIT!](http://www.state.me.us/doc/nrimc/pubedinf/photogal/economic/pit.gif) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-no-other-guests-here-i-am-a-freak/249736.md?page=5)