# There are rules. One is YOU DON'T MESS WITH A PERSON'S CAR! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 22, 2015, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634 "2015-01-22T23:53:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/21 "2015-01-23T16:13:59Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > What if it was a she? Use needle and ink on her breasts. Tat for tit. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/22 "2015-01-23T17:36:17Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Use needle and ink on her breasts. Tat for tit. For Christ’s sake! Two wrongs don’t make a right. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/23 "2015-01-23T17:48:40Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > Two wrongs don’t make a right. But three rights make a left. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/24 "2015-01-23T19:45:56Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > She wants to know, ‘Why _my_ cute little truck? Why not the Beemer next to it?’ > > . Not to say she did anything wrong, but there’s a decent chance someone thought that she was being a dick in the way she parked. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/25 "2015-01-23T19:50:58Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Not to say she did anything wrong, but there’s a decent chance someone thought that she was being a dick in the way she parked. She’s not one of ‘those people’. She parks the correct way. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/26 "2015-01-23T20:09:04Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > She’s not one of ‘those people’. She parks the correct way. OK, but people are weird. I hate one lady get mad at me for “parking in her spot” even tho there was no designated parking or anything like that. It was just the spot she always parked in, but one day I got there first. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/27 "2015-01-23T20:15:45Z")
> [@straight\_doped](#): > > wax on > wax off So if I wax on & then wax off, I’ll get rid of an “upward-pointing penis”? Good to know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/28 "2015-01-23T21:19:18Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > So if I wax on & then wax off, I’ll get rid of an “upward-pointing penis”? Good to know. 😉 **John** ’s wife waxed off a penis and it worked for her. (More or less) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/29 "2015-01-23T23:08:51Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Catch him in the act, pin him down, take his Sharpie, and use it to write ‘I DRAW PENISES ON CARS’ on his forehead and a duplicate of his oIo on each cheek. Many years ago I caught a couple of kids writing in the dust on my car (at first I thought they were either tagging it or scratching the paint). I could see them through the fence slats, so I quietly opened the sliding door, tiptoed across the patio, jerked open the gate and grabbed one of them. The other kid took off. I gently (he was about 12) plastered his ass against the car, holding him by the shirt front, leaned down to within inches of his face, put on my “war face”, and snarled something along the lines of “If I ever see you or your shitbird little friend near my car again, I’m going to beat the shit out of you (a bluff of course) and then call the cops. If I even hear of someone else’s car being messed with, I’m going to assume it’s you little fuckers, and I’m calling the cops. UNDERSTAND?” He was really scared; I’m surprised he didn’t piss himself. It was very satisfying. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/30 "2015-01-23T23:39:04Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > What if it was a she? I’m fairly confident in speculating that no female has ever drawn a cartoon dick and balls on anything. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/31 "2015-01-23T23:46:09Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > She wants to know, ‘Why _my_ cute little truck? Why not the Beemer next to it?’ Does she know for a fact that someone from the Beemer didn’t do it? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/32 "2015-01-24T00:36:32Z")
Before he sold it my father owned a 1946 Lincoln, in perfect condition. God, that car was gorgeous, all black and chrome on the outside, soft pearl gray on the inside. When his neice, my cousin, was marrying again we drove it to Nebraska to be the car that delivered the bride to the church. As it sat in the parking lot of the church a couple, man/wife, stopped to look at it. The wife was heard to say “Why aren’t they _decorating_ it?” To which the husband replied “Because the owner would probably kill whoever would do it!” Dad wouldn’t have killed them, but he would have maybe hurt them badly. Oh, you should have seen that car. While we made the trip to Nebraska from Kansas we had to stop for gas. The clerk was giving the heads up to some other people in the store, and you should have seen the heads popping up to look at it. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2015, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/33 "2015-01-24T01:37:16Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I presume it would get Sharpie off the baby butts too. > [Bill Engvall] > Has this become a problem? > [/Bill Engvall] Spoken like someone who’s never experienced the joy of a toddler with a baby sister… ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2015, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/34 "2015-01-24T16:15:00Z")
I was going to suggest a Mr Clean Magic Eraser. Those things will clean up just about anything. Just be careful it doesn’t take the paint off too. Yeah, people are assholes. I used to work with a woman, she and her husband struggled for years at low wage jobs, but were finally able to buy her a decent car. And nothing fancy, just a Ford Taurus or something similar. Then some jerk keyed the N-word across the hood in huge letters. Every time I would see her car at work it would make my blood boil, and it wasn’t even my car! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2015, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/35 "2015-01-24T16:30:49Z")
Magic eraser will badly scratch your finish I think, I wouldn’t try it anywhere that shows first! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/36 "2015-01-24T16:33:52Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Yeah, people are assholes. I used to work with a woman, she and her husband struggled for years at low wage jobs, but were finally able to buy her a decent car. And nothing fancy, just a Ford Taurus or something similar. The SO has not had a particularly easy life. Her dad made good money, but they lived like it was still the Depression. She had to fight sexism as a helicopter pilot in the Army, being told flat-out by her commander that he did not want any females in his unit; and being told she can’t be a pilot because she’s a girl. Marriages didn’t work out. Still, she was making a living. She owned a house, and she was able to buy a brand new truck exactly how she wanted it. Nothing fancy, four cylinders for good gas mileage, manual transmission. It’s what she wanted, and she loves her truck. Having it repainted was like having a new truck again. > [@Shoeless](#): > > I was going to suggest a Mr Clean Magic Eraser. Those things will clean up just about anything. Just be careful it doesn’t take the paint off too. When she was waxing out the mark, she used a little circular pad. I just use a towel when I wax a car, so I asked if she was using her headlight cleaner. She looked at me as if I were crazy. 'That would take the paint off! :eek: ’ I refrained from making any suggestions, or asking any more questions. Later, when I mentioned alcohol might take the ink off, she said it would damage the paint. I don’t think it will – heck, I’ve spilled gasoline on cars with no ill effect when I wiped it off immediately – but I won’t argue. Then she reminded me that I’d been thinking about stripping old layers of paint off of a chair with a wire brush. I’ve been banned from cleaning her truck. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/37 "2015-01-24T18:49:55Z")
Not that I would recommend it in this case, but one of the best Sharpie solvents is Sharpie. Just be ready to remove the newly wet ink in a timely fashion. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2015, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/38 "2015-01-25T06:35:23Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Catch him in the act, pin him down, take his Sharpie, and use it to write ‘I DRAW PENISES ON CARS’ on his forehead and a duplicate of his oIo on each cheek. Here you go. You and your wife may enjoy this. (NSFW for language) [ItemFix - Social Video Factory](http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=e71_1422121329) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2015, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/39 "2015-01-25T06:41:24Z")
Just for clarification, we’re not married. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2015, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634/40 "2015-01-25T19:07:21Z")
Duly noted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-rules-one-is-you-dont-mess-with-a-persons-car/710634.md?page=3)