# There are Two Lanes for a Reason, Assbitches! (With a Bonus Merging Rant!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 25, 2008, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953 "2008-01-25T14:27:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/61 "2008-01-28T22:47:26Z")
[QUOTE=John Mace] Maybe it’s because I learned to drive in MA, but I feel exactly the same way. Listen people, when we flash our headlights, we’re not insulting you. [/QUOTE] What about when you flash your lights on a curving one-lane on ramp with a posted speed limit of 25 m.p.h.? (I was going faster than that already.) What about when you flash your lights when I’m slowing down to _fucking make a turn_? What about when you HONK when I’m slowing down to _pull into a diagonal parking space_ or yielding to pedestrians crossing in a marked crosswalk! What about when you flash your lights and _I’m in the left lane because I need to make a left turn at the next intersection_? To me, it’s pretty clear that the idiot quotient is much heavier on the side of those getting unjustifiably impatient in traffic. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/62 "2008-01-28T23:28:42Z")
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger] No, I just think you’re a presumptuous cunt. Driving fast =! driving like an asshole. [/QUOTE] Nice try Snookums. Let’s try again though, shall we? My first response was: [QUOTE=me] You’ve been pulled over 8 times in less than a year? I don’t care that you’ve only been ticketed once, that’s a lot. **This doesn’t speak highly of your driving ability and/or your compliance with the rules of the road**. After reading your vomited bile here, it isn’t hard to figure out exactly who the “assbitch” is in your world. [/QUOTE] Now, you’ll notice the bolded part above? It’s hardly presuming ANYTHING to say that being pulled over 8 times in 8 months lends itself to the idea that you’re not complying with the rules of the road. I didn’t mention the asshole driving until your response to me. So, you can think I’m a cunt all you like (sorry to disappoint you, that word doesn’t bother me) but I didn’t presume anything. I based a statement on YOUR description of your driving record. My “assbitch” comment was in reference to the pure nastiness you’ve exhibited here. Yes, I know it is the Pit but you seem to think that a nasty insult is required with each post. Between that and your juvenile masturbatory glee over your car, I have to ask, just how old are you? ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/63 "2008-01-29T01:22:07Z")
[QUOTE=Sleeps With Butterflies] Nice try Snookums. Let’s try again though, shall we? \ [/quote] I’d rather not. Eh, I’m probably just still bitter over not being able to respond to [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9233558&postcount=19) of yours. > [@](#): > > Between that and your juvenile masturbatory glee over your car, I have to ask, just how old are you? I’m 25, which I think is a perfectly acceptable age for juvenile masturbatory glee over one’s car. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/64 "2008-01-29T04:19:23Z")
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger] The only thing I’m “proud” of is that I don’t tailgate, and that I give other drivers plenty of space. In return, I feel that drivers shouldn’t drive along side each other for miles on end below the speed limit. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. [/QUOTE] So you provide at least three seconds of open roadway ahead of you under ideal conditions, and more under less than ideal? Anything less may not be tailgating in the strictness of definitions, but it is not safe, nevertheless. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/65 "2008-01-29T04:35:33Z")
[QUOTE=Duckster] So you provide at least three seconds of open roadway ahead of you under ideal conditions, and more under less than ideal? Anything less may not be tailgating in the strictness of definitions, but it is not safe, nevertheless. [/QUOTE] I don’t know where you learned to drive, but two seconds is pretty much the universal standard. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/66 "2008-01-29T05:09:27Z")
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger] I’d rather not. Eh, I’m probably just still bitter over not being able to respond to [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9233558&postcount=19) of yours. [/QUOTE] OMG, thank you for that. Are you serious? You little grudge holding maniac, you! I’d forgotten who made that moronic post, now I have it so I can link to it. Mwah! ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/67 "2008-01-29T05:14:38Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] I don’t know where you learned to drive, but two seconds is pretty much the universal standard. [/QUOTE] Really? I would have thought it’d be different on planets with heavier or lighter gravity. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/68 "2008-01-29T05:36:15Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] I don’t know where you learned to drive, but two seconds is pretty much the universal standard. [/QUOTE] > [@](#): > > Don’t follow too closely. Always use a “three-second following distance” or a “three-second plus following distance.” Source: [National Safety Council, 2005](http://www.nsc.org/library/facts/defdriv.htm) > [@](#): > > **three-seconDs-PLus ruLe** > Since most people have trouble judging distances, the three-seconds-plus rule to determine safe distance may be easier to use. It is useful at any speed. > • Choose some fixed object ahead of the vehicle in front. The object may be a sign or a tree. Make sure the object does not distract attention from driving. > • As the vehicle in front passes the object, begin counting seconds (onethousand-one, one-thousand-two, one-thousand-three). > • If it takes at least three seconds before the vehicle passes the object, a motorist should have enough distance for a sudden stop. > • Practicing safe space management/following distance is the ability to stop a vehicle safely and smoothly in the event the vehicle in front stops. > • Stopping Distance = Perception Distance + Reaction Distance + Braking Distance. > • By keeping a foot near the brake, a motorist can reduce reaction distance. > • Time and distance relationships are designed for the best driving conditions. > • It should be noted that heavier vehicles may take longer to stop. > Try the rule while driving. It can help a motorist develop good judgment for proper following distances. During bad weather, the time interval should be increased to four or more seconds. Source: [New Jersey Driver’s Manual](http://www.nj.gov/mvc/pdf/Licenses/Driver%20Manual/Chapter_5.pdf) (PDF Warning) I don’t remember what it was when I first learned to drive. All I remember is my annual federal driving refresher and they always emphasize the three-second rule. They’ve emphasized it for the last five years. What universal standard do you follow? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/69 "2008-01-29T05:49:30Z")
[The two-second rule.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-second_rule_(road)) > [@](#): > > The two-second rule is a safety guideline for use when driving a car or other motor vehicle on conventional roads, suggesting the minimum distance one ought to be from the vehicle in front. The claim is that the distance traveled in two seconds is that said minimum. That Wikipedia article cites Chapter 10 of the Illinois Rules of the Road, which is what I learned, and the rule was two seconds for good conditions and four seconds for poor conditions. This would have been in the 90s until, apparently, fairly recently when the Illinois Rules of the Road page had been updated. Anyone care to guess what the new safety rule is? [THE FOUR SECOND RULE](http://www.cyberdriveillinois.com/publications/rules_of_the_road/chapter11.pdf). 😕 WARNING:PDF > [@](#): > > Following a vehicle too closely is called “tailgating.” Use the four-second ruleto deter- > mine a safe following distance. Select a fixed object on the road ahead such as a sign, > tree or overpass. When the vehicle ahead of you passes the object, count “one-thou- > sand-one, one-thousand-two, etc.” You should not reach the object before you count to > one-thousand-four. If you do, you are following too closely. Most rear-end collisions are > caused by the vehicle in back following too closely. What in the fuck? That’s about 20 car lengths at 55 mph…and 12 car lengths at 35 mph. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/70 "2008-01-29T06:34:55Z")
[QUOTE=Duckster] So you provide at least three seconds of open roadway ahead of you under ideal conditions, and more under less than ideal? Anything less may not be tailgating in the strictness of definitions, but it is not safe, nevertheless. [/QUOTE] No. As has been pointed out, three seconds is ridiculous, and not at all practical. Try it tomorrow, on a real roadway in a real car, and tell me how it works out for you. As it is now, allowing one and half to two seconds, I _still_ have people pulling in front of me right before I overtake them. I counted \*seven \*on the way home from work today, and I left before the afternoon rush even started. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953/71 "2008-01-29T13:05:55Z")
Just goes to show that these kids today can’t drive. They require a greater stopping distance. Back in my day, we used a 2-second gap. And we liked it! 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-are-two-lanes-for-a-reason-assbitches-with-a-bonus-merging-rant/434953.md?page=3)