# There goes (comes?) the neighborhood... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 10, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653 "2005-10-10T23:30:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/21 "2005-10-11T20:58:12Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > About the time she’s going into wall-thumping passion, fire up your stereo with the US Marine Band playing _John Phillip Sousa’s Greatest Hits._ Or maybe some tracks from Barney the Dinosaur. So-o-o-o-o romantic. How about _The Sound of Music?_ “High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, yodel-ay-dee-odel-ay-dee-o-hee-hoo!” Or Beethoven’s Ninth. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/22 "2005-10-11T21:44:03Z")
Or they could record the noisy neigbors goin’ at it, wait 'till it happens again, then broadcast it through the wall. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/23 "2005-10-11T22:45:50Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > Or they could record the noisy neigbors goin’ at it, wait 'till it happens again, then broadcast it through the wall. Why not a parabolic microphone and broadcast her vociferous frictional fluid exchange sessions to the neighborhood? Let everyone share in the luvin’. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/24 "2005-10-11T22:51:54Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Or Beethoven’s Ninth. Huh? I can see how Sousa, Barney, or _The Sound of Music_ would put a damper on things, but I for one would not have the _slightest_ difficulty getting my rocks off to Beethoven’s Ninth. Seems almost made for it, in fact. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/25 "2005-10-11T22:54:12Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Why not a parabolic microphone and broadcast her vociferous frictional fluid exchange sessions to the neighborhood? Let everyone share in the luvin’. I thought about that, but there is probably some condo rule about noise levels. **Loopydude** needs to stay on the good side of the condo board. Of course, he could just broadcast it through her walls 24/7 for a few days. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/26 "2005-10-12T00:52:29Z")
I think you should just record them and play it back. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/27 "2005-10-12T02:20:27Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Huh? I can see how Sousa, Barney, or _The Sound of Music_ would put a damper on things, but I for one would not have the _slightest_ difficulty getting my rocks off to Beethoven’s Ninth. Seems almost made for it, in fact. ::hands **Larry Mudd** an orange which, when squeezed, does not yield juice but rather gears:: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/28 "2005-10-12T03:09:54Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > **Loopydude** needs to stay on the good side of the condo board. Let’s see … 8 units – how many members does the condo board have, anyway? In an association this small, complaining to the board isn’t much different that organizing your neighbors – assuming, of course, you haven’t elected hairzilla to the board yet? ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/29 "2005-10-12T03:40:34Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Why not a parabolic microphone and broadcast her vociferous frictional fluid exchange sessions to the neighborhood? Let everyone share in the luvin’. [Oh Frank, Kiss my hot lips!](http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0066026/quotes) It’s been done. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/30 "2005-10-12T03:41:37Z")
If I was another condo owner on the block, I’d be pretty pissed if you \*didn’t \* bring the drug use up to the board. Losers like that threaten to bring down \*everyone’s \*property value. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/31 "2005-10-12T08:29:35Z")
We have the delight of our neighbours putting their headboard against the wall OUR headboard is against. They liked to have loud, obnoxious noisy sex at 4am. WE liked to have loud, obnoxious noisy sex at 6am the same mornings 😉 They’ve stopped the 4am shagging, presumably realising how unpleasant it is to be woken from a sound sleep by sex noises, especially when you really don’t want to get out of bed and go to the livingroom. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/32 "2005-10-12T15:53:16Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > See, this is _exactly_ why you have condo boards. If they can tell you what shade of white you can paint your front porch, they can tell Skankarella to not do many of the things she is doing. If you’re willing to move anyway if things get too bad, I would make it my life mission to have her (legally) evicted from the condo complex. On. The. Nose. As **furt** says, she’s bringing down the value for the whole place. I can’t believe the condo board hasn’t gone after her already. Try documenting as much as you can with the best AV equipment you can get. No need for illegal retaliation–fun and satisfying as it no doubt would be–when you can solve this problem legally. Don’t fear to get Johnny law involved, for her disturbing the peace, and for her kid’s pot parties. Normally I’d say calling the man on someone smoking a little weed is the worst sort of obnoxious behaviour, but were not talking about a nice neighbor smoking a joint to unwind here. Any tactic to get rid of these pests would be justified IMO. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/33 "2005-10-12T16:13:19Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > How about _The Sound of Music?_ “High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, yodel-ay-dee-odel-ay-dee-o-hee-hoo!” Ever since I read this this morning I’ve had this fucking song running through my head, which probably speaks volumes as to it’s detractive capabilities. You are indeed a wise, if not evil, man. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/34 "2005-10-12T16:21:38Z")
Is anyone else trying to imagine the wording of a condo board rule against this kind of noise? “Residents are not to vocalize their enjoyment of intimate physical activities at a volume of greater than 30 dB between the hours of 9pm and 7am or 40 dB between the hours of 7am and 9pm, except on weekends when the higher volume hours are extended to between 7am and 11pm. Commentary relating to acts deemed unusual by this board must be kept below 25 dB at all times, unless you are an exceedingly unattractive male, in which case such commentary is banned altogether.” It’ll look good on the charter, I can tell you that. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/35 "2005-10-12T16:25:17Z")
All good advice… I’m going to confront SkAngie directly with some of my, uh, concerns before taking the nuclear option. I figure it’s fair, if only to give her the opportunity to tell me to kiss off, and hence seal the deal; and if she’s sympathetic, a whole lot of nastyness is avoided, to the benefit of all. Let’s just say I’ve discovered my wife and I not alone in our dissatisfaction…heh heh hehhhh. I’ll give her a reasonable, level-headed, uncombattive fair warning. After that, we put the hurt on… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/36 "2005-10-12T16:52:26Z")
That’s a great idea, **Loopy**. It’s entirely possible that she isn’t aware of how unpleasant her presence is for everyone around her, and she will clean up her act forthwith. Not likely, but certainly possible. Good call. Let us know how it all comes out. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/37 "2005-10-12T16:53:18Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Is anyone else trying to imagine the wording of a condo board rule against this kind of noise? > > “Residents are not to vocalize their enjoyment of intimate physical activities at a volume of greater than 30 dB between the hours of 9pm and 7am or 40 dB between the hours of 7am and 9pm, except on weekends when the higher volume hours are extended to between 7am and 11pm. Commentary relating to acts deemed unusual by this board must be kept below 25 dB at all times, unless you are an exceedingly unattractive male, in which case such commentary is banned altogether.” > > It’ll look good on the charter, I can tell you that. If it’s an exceeding attractive female with a sensual voice, can we give waivers, maybe even demand “no less than 35 dB”? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/38 "2005-10-12T17:03:00Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Is anyone else trying to imagine the wording of a condo board rule against this kind of noise? > > “Residents are not to vocalize their enjoyment of intimate physical activities at a volume of greater than 30 dB between the hours of 9pm and 7am or 40 dB between the hours of 7am and 9pm, except on weekends when the higher volume hours are extended to between 7am and 11pm. Commentary relating to acts deemed unusual by this board must be kept below 25 dB at all times, unless you are an exceedingly unattractive male, in which case such commentary is banned altogether.” > > It’ll look good on the charter, I can tell you that. The reason this makes me laugh until tears flow is because our bylaws have noise restrictions that, no shit, would look uncannily similar if it weren’t for the references to actual decibel levels and aesthetic concerns. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/39 "2005-10-12T17:37:00Z")
Loopydude, please keep us posted on this. Even if the Skank turns out to be disappointly polite. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653/40 "2005-10-12T17:55:08Z")
I must confess, I’ve been moved to perhaps an inordinate level of compassion, upon reflection and some purgative venting of the spleen. After all, the woman’s own punk-ass _kids_ call her a skank (in a manner so loud and public as to “disturb the peace” in what must surely be a legally actionable sense). I suppose it’s just possible she’s oblivious to he level of offense her day-to-day existance inflicts upon her neighbors. If so, I’m willing to forgive and forget. If not, I don the jackboots… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-goes-comes-the-neighborhood/325653.md?page=3)