# There is a dead cat in the front yard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 1, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764 "2010-08-01T02:32:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/21 "2010-08-02T03:19:27Z")
Don’t wait for it to cool off before you rip open its abdomen and thrust your man meat into its hot, steamy innards. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/22 "2010-08-02T03:21:12Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Don’t wait for it to cool off before you rip open its abdomen and thrust your man meat into its hot, steamy innards. ‘To know life, Otto, you have to fuck death… in the gall bladder!’ . ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/23 "2010-08-02T03:28:10Z")
Marinate overnight, then 8 minutes per side on a medium-high grill. ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/24 "2010-08-02T04:07:24Z")
Where is the barfing smiley when you need it??? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/25 "2010-08-02T04:17:42Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Don’t wait for it to cool off before you rip open its abdomen and thrust your man meat into its hot, steamy innards. Holy crap. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/26 "2010-08-02T04:21:35Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > Holy crap. Sorry. (Wo)man meat. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/27 "2010-08-02T04:23:20Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > [@lisacurl](#): > > > > 1. It was hot and my husband did not want to dig a three foot deep hole for a cat that wasn’t even ours. > > Being as there are no established kitteh burial customs, why dig three feet? Put it under about one foot, with a spray of wild flowers or just a piece of old wood on which one has written: CAT. Answered by someone else, but yeah… because of other animals digging the corpse up. I understood it to be three-feet depth minimum to bury a family pet, and I’ve seen recommendations to go deeper for larger dogs. Also, it is not legal to have home pet burials in some jurisdictions. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/28 "2010-08-02T04:46:18Z")
> [@Oregon\_sunshine](#): > > Where is the barfing smiley when you need it??? :eek: I see you’ve never tasted Another Other White Meat. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/29 "2010-08-02T04:55:14Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > > > Holy crap. > > Sorry. (Wo)man meat. Now I’m getting aroused. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/30 "2010-08-02T07:46:36Z")
[Dolly from _the Family Circus_](http://a.imageshack.us/img841/6733/familycircus1555.jpg), faced a similar dilemma ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/31 "2010-08-02T08:27:06Z")
Poor kitty. ☹ There’s also one on the road that I take to go into the city, I keep passing by and feeling bad. At least it doesn’t look like this one suffered… ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/32 "2010-08-02T13:28:30Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Our house > Is a very,very fine house > With dead cat in the yard > Its body going hard > Now everything is easy > Cause of you I was going to ask if it was stinking to high heaven, but this is better. Except that the next-to-last line should be “Now everyone is queasy”. > [@lisacurl](#): > > it is not legal to have home pet burials in some jurisdictions. That’s why you’ve gotta do it in the dead of night, preferably with no moon. And hold down the chanting. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/33 "2010-08-02T13:38:43Z")
All I have to add is that I’ve discovered a post hole digger is a handy implement for burying kittens. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/34 "2010-08-02T14:31:56Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > That’s why you’ve gotta do it in the dead of night, preferably with no moon. And hold down the chanting. Well, that’s no fun. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/35 "2010-08-02T14:44:55Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > bury it in the backyard with full cat-mousing honors or fling it in the street and call the city for dead animal pickup. I don’t think it has to be in the street to qualify for dead animal pickup. Our local Animal Control came and picked up a dead cat in our back yard. I have no clue why it picked our yard to curl up and die in. Maybe it was quiet. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/36 "2010-08-03T04:51:46Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > > [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > > > Our house > > Is a very,very fine house > > With dead cat in the yard > > Its body going hard > > Now everything is easy > > Cause of you > > I was going to ask if it was stinking to high heaven, but this is better. Except that the next-to-last line should be “Now everyone is queasy”. > > > [@lisacurl](#): > > > > it is not legal to have home pet burials in some jurisdictions. > > That’s why you’ve gotta do it in the dead of night, preferably with no moon. And hold down the chanting. Wouldn’t they notice the bonfire and effigies? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/37 "2010-08-03T05:01:38Z")
Just don’t try to flush it down the toilet like a goldfish. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/38 "2010-08-03T18:20:21Z")
Years ago, we lived in a house ago we lived in a house that had a terrible mole problem in the front yard. My husband tried everything to get rid of that mole to no avail. He always claimed that if he ever caught that mole he would crucify it to the tree\* in our front yard as a warning to every other mole in the neighborhood to stay out of our yard. Perhaps, that might be a way to keep future dead cats out of your yard. \*Never mind that moles are subterranean dwellers. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/39 "2010-08-11T14:24:20Z")
This happened outside our office building. Whie everybody else was grossing out, I simply got a shovel, scooped it up, and put it in the garbage can. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764/40 "2010-08-11T17:08:29Z")
Apparently you can compost them as well. You can compost almost anything organic if you cover it deeply in straw or leaf litter or another plant material, and leave it long enough, according to _The Humanure Handbook_ by Joseph Jenkins. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-dead-cat-in-the-front-yard/548764.md?page=3)