# There is a fucking SCORPION in my room! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 15, 2001, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796 "2001-09-15T09:32:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/41 "2001-09-16T10:12:55Z")
Johnny L.A., I refuse to be anyones breakfast, lunch, or dinner! ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/42 "2001-09-16T12:43:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DJScherr \* > \*\* > Now I am looking down every five seconds to look for a scorpion… The worst part??? I live in Minnesota where it hit like 50 degrees here last night… I know there won’t be one… but I can’t stop looking!! I hope you are happy!! \*\* Watch out for Spider Women in Minnesota. So have you ever thought of doing one of the Minnesota Dope Fests with us? ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/43 "2001-09-16T16:48:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*Every time I read one of these threads with you Southerners telling us all about the horrible, creepy, nasty things you get IN YOUR HOUSES!!!, I vow to never complain about -30 degree weather or 9 month winters again. \*\* Exactly so, **featherlou**. No scorpions, centipedes, snakes, or palmetto bugs. No tornadoes, tsunamis, or hurricanes, either. The odd earthquake, but not much there either. There’s a running joke among us that we’re too wimpy to live down South. I do, however, still reserve the right to whine about six consecutive weeks of -30C. We must all have our crosses to bear, y’know. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/44 "2001-09-16T18:05:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*Just so you know, his name is Eduardo. > > 😃 > > Esprix \*\* Well. You’re on a first name basis with the scorpion. I mean “Edwardo”. So you _did_ sleep with him. 😃 Which one of you got the wet spot? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/45 "2001-09-16T18:14:12Z")
**Eduardo**? The name of your freakishness is Eduardo? Heh. ---
**Author:** ![eirroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f1d935/32.png) [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/46 "2001-09-16T21:21:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by **Lynn Bodoni** _ > I’ve heard that scorpion stings are quite painful. Hee Apparently so… just ask my twin bro, who ran up and down the passage at 2 in the morning screaming his head off (apparently… I wasen’t there and he was sleeping in my bed) \) ohhh I am glad I wasent there, ouch. ---
**Author:** ![eirroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f1d935/32.png) [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/47 "2001-09-16T21:25:51Z")
And I forgot to add “stomp on the fucker, never mind feeding it!” ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/48 "2001-09-16T21:39:05Z")
No! He’s gonna be my buddy. You can’t kill him. I still need to put him in my dad’s bed. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/49 "2001-09-16T23:19:17Z")
OK, so Eduardo wasn’t looking to great today - in fact, not moving at all. Still, I am convinced (especially after having watched a PBS special several years ago) that it is incredibly hard to kill these fuckers without using heavy objects, devices that spew fire, or petrochemicals. So, not believing his “Oh, I’m so dead! Look at me! Now pet me!” routine, I gave him a soda bottle cap full of water and a few live ants (teeny ones, no crickets handy yet) and have put him (still safely secured in his ventilated mayonnaise jar prison) out in the sun. I’m thinking the house was too cool and humid and dark for his tastes. I find it odd that I’m mollycodling the very BEAST that tried to EAT me the other night. (Well, not exactly, but you know what I mean.) **Monster** , I expect payback for this endeavor, and I think we both know what that means… Chocolate. 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Doll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Broken\_Doll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Doll)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/50 "2001-09-17T00:48:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\*Gosh Esprix did they look like this? > [http://www.angelfire.com/mo2/animals1/scorpion/empscorp.html](http://www.angelfire.com/mo2/animals1/scorpion/empscorp.html) > > or more like this > [http://wrbu.si.edu/www/stockwell/photos/h\_troglodytes(male).jpg](http://wrbu.si.edu/www/stockwell/photos/h_troglodytes(male).jpg) > > or possibly like this > [http://wrbu.si.edu/www/stockwell/photos/h\_spinifer.jpg](http://wrbu.si.edu/www/stockwell/photos/h_spinifer.jpg) \*\* Damn you. Damn you to a fiery scorpion pit. I was sipping my nice warm coffee when my curiousity got the better of me and I nearly spilt it all over myself from shuddering. Once again, I repeat: Damn you. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/51 "2001-09-17T04:25:42Z")
:eek ARGH! ESPRIX!! Not a glass jar in the SUN!!! You might as well just stick him under a magnifying glass!!! The one’s we have at work hardly move at all. Some species are pretty nocturnal too. He’s probably already fried, but on the off chance bring him in NOW! If you have a plant spray bottle, better give him a quick, very light squirt too. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/52 "2001-09-17T04:30:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zoogirl \* > \*\*:eek ARGH! ESPRIX!! > Not a glass jar in the SUN!!! You might as well just stick him under a magnifying glass!!! \*\* HA! **Esprix** has found an environmentally sound alternative to Microwave-Induced Nuclear Death! And sunshine (if Hollywood has taught us anything) doesn’t create giant mutants! **Esprix** , I commend you and award you the title: Scorpion Slayer Extrordinare! Fenris, still shuddering. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/53 "2001-09-17T13:17:42Z")
DAMN those things are creepy. I officially have the major heebie-jeebies. They look like a combination of nasty spider, cockroach, and wasp all rolled into one. ::shudder:: Zette ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/54 "2001-09-17T13:47:16Z")
Congrats. You may have just identified something that would freak me out more than spiders. Thanks. I needed that additional heebie jeebie in my life. I owe you one. _shudder_ _shudder, shudder_ I wouldn’t have even been able to contain it. I would have left and slept on the porch until Joel came home and I’d sign my soul over to him in exchange for the death of said thing. And I would have been a weeping wreck for about a day or two. I’m not a bug person. Nice reaction ExTank. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/55 "2001-09-17T14:10:50Z")
_shudder_ Oh, why, WHY did people post those pictures? I shall never sleep again. And **Esprix** , you are much braver than I. My roomates would have been awoken in a second with the screams. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/56 "2001-09-17T15:34:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni \* > \*\*I still think that the Madagascar Hissing Roaches are the creepiest creepy-crawly things I’ve ever seen. And that was in a zoo, behind a glass display case! \*\* Haw, that’s nothin’. I’ve had one crawl up my arm. They were having an interactive display at the National Zoo. **Valkyrie** _insisted_ I completely disinfect myself once I got home and she heard about it. Damn, issa bug! They feed it dog food. Oh, as regards OP - seconded on NOT keeping the jar out in the sun. There’s a reason scorpions like to hide under rocks and stuff and it’s not because they can jump out and scare you easier that way. They like it dark and cool. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/57 "2001-09-17T15:39:17Z")
Putting him out in the sun with water and ants, it seems, was a last-ditch effort. I fear… \ Eduardo may have ceased to be. **FUCK YEAH!** I am da MAN! Torturer and Slayer of Scorpions am I! DIE you little fuckwad - DIE DIE DIE! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! \ Perhaps, in retrospect, I ought to have named him Osama. 😉 I’ll check him again when I get home, but I’m not holding out hope. **Monster** , I’d offer to get you another one, but that would involve me WIGGING OUT again, so get thee nigh to a fucking pet store. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/58 "2001-09-17T15:45:02Z")
Oh, I feel your pain. I thought it was bad when I had to check for rattlesnakes when I camped out in Gilroy, CA… then I learned about the brown recluse spider. That was WALKING on our KITCHEN FLOOR in the HOUSE! _shudder_ Every single spider became a brown recluse to me. “Is THAT a brown recluse?” “That’s GOT to be a brown recluse.” Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/59 "2001-09-17T15:49:07Z")
**Esprix** , have you paused to consider the previous causes of what compelled that scorpion to go into your room? Have you any _idea_ of the forces of evolution behind getting Eduardo there? If you _really_ understood Eduardo’s motivations, you wouldn’t have taken measures to kill him. Now all you’ve done is to provoke a response from the other scorpions in the area. [sub]Figured I’d get to it first…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796/60 "2001-09-17T18:29:13Z")
I weep for Eduardo. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-a-fucking-scorpion-in-my-room/81796.md?page=4)