# There Is...No...BELGIUM!!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414 "2002-10-29T16:55:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/1 "2002-10-29T16:55:12Z")
The lies! THE LIES! Oh, how could _They_ decieve us all so! :eek: But–the Truth is Revealed! HERE: [http://zapatopi.net/belgium.html](http://zapatopi.net/belgium.html) Their duplicity… revealed!!! Weigh in on this History-Making Discovery! **Krispy Original** --surely _you_ knew of this? **Why did you hide the Truth!!!** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/2 "2002-10-29T17:00:52Z")
They’re waffeling on Belgium? ---
**Author:** ![Hattrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/34f0e0/32.png) [@Hattrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hattrick)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/3 "2002-10-29T17:25:12Z")
Well Where did TinTin come from… if not Belgium, hmmm I think I might need to consult some of my Belgian friends. who may not be Belgian after all, they would shoot themselves if they turned out to be French ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/4 "2002-10-29T20:11:00Z")
Hmmm… My high-school French teacher always _claimed_ to be Belgian, but I notice shet taught French, not a mythical langiuage called “Belgian”. What was she hiding? But… Next thing you know they’ll be saying that _Canada_ doesn’t exist!! And then where will I be? :eek: And anyways! What’s all this nonsense about the “Global Left Conspiracy” anyways?! Everyone knows that Capitalism won!!! Who’s using the ghost of the Left as a cover? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/5 "2002-10-29T20:14:16Z")
So, you’re not an uncle yet, I see… try and pace yourself, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/6 "2002-10-29T23:34:24Z")
Well, that sure raises some questions Will the week now be Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday? Is “Horum omnium fortissimi sunt Belgae” just a left-handed compliment, since, if the Belgians don’t exists, Caesar really meant that everyone in NW Europe was chickenshit? And worst of all, if the Belgians are just pseudo-Frenchmen, that means that the French are just as adept at making beer as wine. No nation should be that clever. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/7 "2002-10-30T01:20:49Z")
Anyone else open this hoping he was riffing on Logan’s Run? \ Report Logan-5. Confirm existence of Belgium. \ \ There…is…noooo…bellllgiuuummmmm \ ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/8 "2002-10-30T05:30:12Z")
Watch your language- children read this board. The B-word is far too harsh! Before you know it our children will be corrupted, and playing… Krikkit! ---
**Author:** ![I\_am\_Sparticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@I\_am\_Sparticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_am_Sparticus)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/9 "2002-10-30T06:41:54Z")
Hasn’t anyone ever noticed that the world’s most famous Belgian, Hercule Poirot is an entirely fictitious character? And a charlatan at that? If you have read Curtain, you will discover that he was the murderer, not the detective. ---
**Author:** ![emolson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5fc32e/32.png) [@emolson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emolson)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/10 "2002-10-30T06:47:21Z")
Of course there is. {Michael Palin} Miserable fat Belgian bastards. {/Michael Palin} ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/11 "2002-10-30T06:48:05Z")
Reminds me of something I experienced a few years ago. I was picking up my dad after a business trip from Germany at S.F. International. His plane was late, and I sat there for a few hours watching, listlessly, as other international flights disembarked. There was this one plane full of folks who all seemed to have creepily similar features – blonde-ish curly hair, a similar build, similar cheekbones, the same light brown/hazel eyes which were too close together, resulting in a vagely retarded look. I thought to myself “they must be all related. a family reunion or something” – nope, just a direct flight from Belgium… ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/12 "2002-10-30T06:52:29Z")
Hmm. So _where_ was I really last summer? And why is this boy always peeing: [http://www.manneken-pis.com/intro.html](http://www.manneken-pis.com/intro.html) ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/13 "2002-10-30T07:10:23Z")
[ul]😕 [sup]I thought **Jean Claude Van Damm** was the most famous Belgian.[/sup][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![emolson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5fc32e/32.png) [@emolson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emolson)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/14 "2002-10-30T07:33:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by emolson \* > \*\*Of course there is. > > {Michael Palin} > Miserable fat Belgian bastards. > {/Michael Palin} \*\* Oh, and if Belgium didn’t exist, then where the hell does that exquisite _ **Duvel** _ ale come from? ---
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/15 "2002-10-30T13:27:56Z")
aaah… Duvel!! A big Thank you, Steven (not a Doper) for introducing me to Duvel! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/16 "2002-10-30T13:37:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Well Where did TinTin come from… if not Belgium, hmmm I think I might need to consult some of my Belgian friends. who may not be Belgian after all, they would shoot themselves if they turned out to be French Not only Tintin, but the **Smurfs** come from Belgium (where they were originally **Stroumphs** , a word they must have figured Americans couldn’t pronounce). Actually, considering that, I could live in an alternate reality where Smurfs/Stroumphs didn’t exist, if it meant giving up Belgium. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/17 "2002-10-30T18:44:28Z")
I’ve been there… but only at a train station… What real country would have Tintin and cartoon characters on its currency… Although they do have Lambic beer, and something that divine has to come from a real country! ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/18 "2002-10-30T19:39:36Z")
There has to be a Belguim as its a standard unit of measurement of land area, especially in disaster reports. Things like, Rainforest the size of Belguim is destroyed every year or Police are searching for the suspects in a remote national park the size of Belgium. or There is a hole in the ozone layer five times the size of Belgium. We in the UK used to use the imperial measurement of a “Wales” to describe such things but ever since we went metric we have had to adopt the European way of things. Personally I preferred the “Wales” because it has nice choirs and is part of our history, I also think that we were short changed by the media as well since a “Wales” seemed bigger, but then it could be those mountains I guess, maybe its all down to inflation. There is a militant wing of the outlawed terror group Welsh Army of Republican Tabulating Statisticains (W.A.R.T.S) who are mounting a rearguard action to defend the true Welsh standard by making all road signs completely unitelligable to advanced life forms and inflating the odd sheep(at least that’s what one Welsh chappie siad he was doing as he stood remarkably close behind one) but sadly I think that in the interests of EU harmonisation it looks to me like history has discarded this fine old system of measurment. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/19 "2002-10-30T23:41:27Z")
Count yourself lucky, **casdave.** Here in the U.S., we have to measure everything in _football fields._ It’s like the bleedin’ Dark Ages over here, I tell ya… ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-belgium/134414/20 "2002-10-31T01:30:40Z")
yay! Thank you **Wonko**!