# There is no virtue in singlehood. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164 "2005-09-12T00:26:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/61 "2005-09-13T11:35:54Z")
For what it’s worth, I’d rather be alone and lonely than married and lonely. ---
**Author:** ![d1a1s1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@d1a1s1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d1a1s1)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/62 "2005-09-13T11:40:25Z")
> [@Mellivora capensis](#): > > For what it’s worth, I’d rather be alone and lonely than married and lonely. That reminds me of my favorite single guy saying (which I made up for the record)…“Id rather be single than in a shitty relationship” ---
**Author:** ![jastu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@jastu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jastu)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/63 "2005-09-13T12:13:13Z")
Sorry **Misnomer** I meant no offence by my statement. I become just as frustrated constantly hearing that it’s only normal and natural to be in a relationship and there must be something wrong with me. As you’ve explained this is not the case with you, but I must admit that I do lose patience with people who are genuinely needy types, those who just can’t bear to be on their own. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/64 "2005-09-13T13:25:37Z")
> [@jastu](#): > > Sorry **Misnomer** I meant no offence by my statement. I become just as frustrated constantly hearing that it’s only normal and natural to be in a relationship and there must be something wrong with me. Well it is certainly normal and natural to desire relationships and companionship. I don’t know anyone who actually likes being by themself all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/65 "2005-09-13T13:40:45Z")
> [@Mellivora capensis](#): > > For what it’s worth, I’d rather be alone and lonely than married and lonely. Along those lines I have always said it is better to be alone than to wish you were. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/66 "2005-09-13T17:18:50Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > There’s nothing particularly noble or great about not being single, either, but it’s gotten to the point where someone like me – a female in her 30s who lives alone – automatically gets written off as “needy” if I dare to admit that, all other things being equal, I’d rather not be single. > > Grr. 😉 Which reminds me of Fiddler on the Roof … > [@Reb Tevye](#): > > "Oh Lord, you made many many poor people. I realize, of course, it’s no shame to be poor … but it’s no great honor either. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/67 "2005-09-13T17:29:57Z")
Hmmm, Amazon says it’s not released yet. Oh well, it’s on my wish list so I remember it when they say it’s available. ---
**Author:** ![Mint\_Julep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc79bd/32.png) [@Mint\_Julep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mint_Julep)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/68 "2005-09-13T17:34:37Z")
> [@d1a1s1](#): > > Dont you dare do that. Theres plenty of good men out there (me included…haha). I feel bitter as well but thats only because of a recent thrashing by a girl who decided she wanted to dump me for my best friend. Eh, life. But at least Im free to find the right person. This in on itself calms my bitterness. Its hard for me to fall in love and theres nothing wrong with that. I know that the right girl will come along and crack my shell and everything will feel right. What we dont need is you giving up. We cant have anyone giving up or we may miss an opportunity. Hope this helps. Actually I hope it makes sense because exhausted. Thanks **d1a1s1** I feel a little better today…Yesterday was just a low one. I am just trying so hard to keep believing that there is a guy for me out there, but I have been stomped on so badly, that I am not sure that it is in the cards for me. But your words made me feel better so I really appreciate that! And maybe **Priceguy** has a point. I am certainly not miserable alone. I am quite content. The thing that really scares the Hell out of me, is that I know how good true love feels and I know how rare it can be. I am scared I wont ever feel that amazing rush of loving someone so much that you do anything for them. That relationship when you can just get Chinese take out and watch movies and be so happy just being together. I am scared that I would not let myself fall again even if I find love? I am such a mess. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/69 "2005-09-13T17:56:26Z")
> [@Mint Julep](#): > > I am scared that I would not let myself fall again even if I find love? Feeling this way just means that it’s too soon for you to contemplate another relationship. Perfectly natural. When the time comes, you’ll be able to fall again. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![d1a1s1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@d1a1s1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d1a1s1)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/70 "2005-09-14T05:21:38Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Feeling this way just means that it’s too soon for you to contemplate another relationship. Perfectly natural. When the time comes, you’ll be able to fall again. 🙂 This is a fact! The good thing about love is it can come at anytime. It doesnt matter if your in a good mood, a bad mood, or a down mood. Now, sitting in your house may make a bit tough so get out, do things you like to do and hang in there(Im not saying anyone is sitting around the house). Also, keep your eyes open and expect anything. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/71 "2005-09-14T14:15:45Z")
> [@d1a1s1](#): > > Also, keep your eyes open and expect anything. :eek: Okay, now I’m just afraid and paranoid. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![d1a1s1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@d1a1s1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d1a1s1)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/72 "2005-09-14T14:35:23Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > :eek: > > Okay, now I’m just afraid and paranoid. > 😃 Sounds like your going to need a few more years alone then! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![d1a1s1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@d1a1s1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d1a1s1)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/73 "2005-09-14T14:36:27Z")
Not to change the topic too much but it seems there are quite a few singles in this thread. Anyone off the straight dope ever met and dated because of the SD? Should I just start a new topic? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/74 "2005-09-14T14:41:53Z")
Apparently, yes. Not that I wuld know a lot about that… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/75 "2005-09-14T14:42:52Z")
> [@d1a1s1](#): > > Sounds like your going to need a few more years alone then! > 😃 Plus a well stocked supply of water, canned goods and ammunition. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![d1a1s1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@d1a1s1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d1a1s1)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/76 "2005-09-14T14:45:31Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Plus a well stocked supply of water, canned goods and ammunition. 😉 I didnt say you had to spend the alone time in New Orleans! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/77 "2005-09-14T14:47:47Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Plus a well stocked supply of water, canned goods and ammunition. 😉 Don’t forget the Cap’n Crunch. ---
**Author:** ![Mint\_Julep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc79bd/32.png) [@Mint\_Julep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mint_Julep)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/78 "2005-09-14T14:53:47Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Feeling this way just means that it’s too soon for you to contemplate another relationship. Perfectly natural. When the time comes, you’ll be able to fall again. 🙂 I think you are right, and for some reason it makes me feel better to hear it from someone else, even though I think I knew it. So a sincere thanks! > [@d1a1s](#): > > This is a fact! The good thing about love is it can come at anytime. It doesnt matter if your in a good mood, a bad mood, or a down mood. Now, sitting in your house may make a bit tough so get out, do things you like to do and hang in there(Im not saying anyone is sitting around the house). Also, keep your eyes open and expect anything. And Thank you as well. I think I know this is all true…sometimes I just need a reminder. I appreciate it very much. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![d1a1s1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@d1a1s1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d1a1s1)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/79 "2005-09-14T15:01:04Z")
> [@Mint Julep](#): > > And Thank you as well. I think I know this is all true…sometimes I just need a reminder. I appreciate it very much. > > 😉 I never realised how much it helps to come on these boards with my problems until this past week. You’ll hear ALL KINDS of theories and solutions from so many people that one is bound to make you feel better. Mine was a combination of msmith and quicksilver…if I recall correctly. Ill have to check…dont want to leave anyone out. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164/80 "2005-09-14T15:13:26Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > Consider your brain boggled. I’m single and loving the hell out of it. **I’m not even missing the sex.** The sleeping alone was the only thing I hated, but that’s all gone now too. If I never have another relationship again (and hopefully I won’t), it’ll be too soon. They’re just not worth the effort. Bolding mine. God, do I miss the sex. where’s the sexually frustrated, drooly smilie? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-is-no-virtue-in-singlehood/321164.md?page=5)