# There once was an amphibian named Jeremiah... **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 20, 2019, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869 "2019-02-20T02:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2019, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/1 "2019-02-20T02:30:46Z")
Who was my confidant of highest esteem. I was unable to grasp the nuances of his speech, but verily I did assist him in the consumption of alcoholic beverages. (Stolen from a FB post.) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2019, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/2 "2019-02-20T03:13:46Z")
If I was the boss, you know what I like to see? No, cars, no bars, and wars. Then we can have a little roll in the hay. Sweet! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/3 "2019-02-21T01:45:03Z")
You are all aware of my many peccadillos with the gentler sex, and how my prodigious appetite for Par-Tay is seldom abated. Am an acrobiotic aviator, a prismatic buckaroo (as it were), and can act as a sniper as if born to it with a wide variety of firearms. Yes, verily, a wide variety of firearms. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/4 "2019-02-21T06:02:59Z")
Scintillate, Scintillate diminutive stellar orb. How inexplicable to me seems this stupendous problem of your existence. Elevated at such at an immeasurable distance, in an apparently perpendicular direction from this terrestrial planet which we occupy. Resembling in thy dazzling and unapproachable efulgence, a gem of purist carbon, set solitaire in a university of space. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/5 "2019-02-21T06:41:12Z")
I have a desire to have your digits in mine. ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/6 "2019-02-21T15:29:34Z")
Walk stealthily and self defenestrate Near the aperture, my expected location Do walk stealthily among the perennial herbaceous bulbiferous geophytes, accompanying yours truly ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/7 "2019-02-21T15:37:57Z")
The day before today All of the difficulties I’m currently experiencing seemed quite distant Now it seems as though they will not abate I’m firm in my conviction that the day before today was better. ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/8 "2019-02-21T16:35:58Z")
A trio of sightless vermin. A trio of sightless vermin. Watch them skedaddle. Watch them skedaddle. Each one dashed toward the clodhopper’s spouse, Which severed their tag-ends using a kitchen blade, Have y’all, on any occasion, watched a spectacle like that, Like a trio of sightless vermin? ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/9 "2019-02-21T17:16:16Z")
In an undetermined location beyond the meteorological phenomenon that appears as a multicolored arc that forms with the sunlight reflecting off water, at a great vertical altitude, exists an area of which I received mention on a particular occasion in a song designed to induce sleep in infants and toddlers. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/10 "2019-02-21T17:57:32Z")
This diminutive shoat proceeded toward an area designated for the procurement of foodstuffs; This diminutive shoat elected to remain in his domicile; This diminutive shoat consumed the cooked muscle tissue of a bovine creature; This diminutive shoat failed to partake of the aforementioned consumable; This diminutive shoat uttered short, terror-induced cries in the upper audio frequencies until arriving at the place of its residence. ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/11 "2019-02-21T18:45:52Z")
Warble lyrics about a tanner, A pouch brimming with grain, Two dozen Turdus merula Cooked in a pastry John Brisling was not able to consume greasy comestibles, John’s spouse took no scrawny flesh, Lo, among the twain , as a matter of fact, The couple tongued the salver spotless. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/12 "2019-02-21T19:38:53Z")
In a wooden cabin in a forest In the vicinity of New Orleans A young man named John B. Goode lived He was functionally illiterate But he could play a guitar in such a manner That it sounded like a bell Proceed, John, Proceed Proceed, John, Proceed Proceed, John, Proceed Proceed, John, Proceed Proceed, John B. Goode ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2019, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/13 "2019-02-21T20:28:58Z")
Farewell, Ms.New World pastry… Propel your Detroit gas-guzzler to the dam, The dam was arid, Those local yokels were imbibing various and sundry liquors Vocalizing this will be the day of our demise… ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2019, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/14 "2019-02-22T16:10:57Z")
Would that I owned a ball peen, I would forge at dawn, I would forge at dusk, Throughout the countryside. I would forge away peril, I would forge an admonishing alarm, I would forge a compassionate responsive kinship among all people, Throughout the countryside. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2019, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/15 "2019-02-22T16:37:39Z")
Rocky Raccoon checked into his accommodation Gideon’s Bible was the only literary Rocky had arrived with a loaded firearm To amputate the legs of his adversary His opponent had sundered his romantic aspirations By abducting his inamorata Her moniker was MaGill, but she chose the epithet Lil But she was commonly referred to as Mamacita ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2019, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/16 "2019-02-22T20:12:32Z")
Is this factual existence? Is this merely a product of imagination? Trapped in a flood of falling stones, without a means of exit. Uncover your organs of perception, point them at the stratosphere and observe I am merely a youth of inadequate means I do not require favorable thoughts Since I arrive and depart without difficulty, in a slight upwards and downwards direction In whatever direction the air moves, I do not find this of significance. I do not. (I know I should be able to get #2 and #3. But I can’t. Just me??) ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2019, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/17 "2019-02-22T20:18:24Z")
There exists a structure in New Orleans, with the title of The Rising Sun, This structure has resulted in the downfall of many unfortunate young men, and I’m very disheartened to tell you that I am a part of this group. My mother was employed through the domestic art of crafting and repairing clothing, In fact, these magnificent trousers that I’m wearing are a result of her skill and generosity, My father, on the other hand, was addicted to the gaming tables, In that same city of New Orleans. Now, in fact, the only belongings that such a gamer would need, Is a functional set of luggage, And the only time that such a man would feel satisfaction, Is when he’s sufficiently inebriated. ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2019, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/18 "2019-02-22T20:53:13Z")
Mothers, let not your children attain adulthood as wranglers Let them not pluck six-stringed acoustical instruments or pilot those aged lorries Allow them to be physicians and solicitors, et cetera Mothers, let not your children attain adulthood as wranglers Since they won’t ever remain in the household and will forever remain solitary Including alongside their inamorata ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2019, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/19 "2019-02-22T21:28:57Z")
My maternal parental unit advised me not to attend. Again, my maternal parental unit advised me not to attend. She informed me: “That’s not a proper way to enjoy oneself, my child. That’s not a proper way to enjoy oneself.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2019, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869/20 "2019-02-22T21:31:32Z")
I have never traveled to the Iberian Peninsula, but I enjoy the instrumental efforts of it’s residents. It is said that the women there are mentally unstable, but they are well trained in exercising their disorders. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/there-once-was-an-amphibian-named-jeremiah/829869.md?page=2)