# There's a cricket outside... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 18, 2000, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560 "2000-09-18T02:51:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/1 "2000-09-18T02:51:43Z")
And it won’t shut the fuck up! It’s pissing me off…_Chirp_ _Chirp_ _Chirp_…consistently, over and over, grating on my ears and causing all logical mental activity nearby to come to a screeching halt. There is no possible way to concentrate with that incessant noise. Ohhhh…the noise, the noise!! SHUT UP ALREADY!!! ---
**Author:** ![Joachim\_Pieper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Joachim\_Pieper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joachim_Pieper)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/2 "2000-09-18T04:26:06Z")
I feel for you, Monster… ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/3 "2000-09-18T04:28:32Z")
There’s already been too much discussion of “football” in the Pit lately! You’re not starting on CRICKET, are you? **Monster104** , me boyo, I thought you were one of US! Although I’ve always found it a very quiet game, so I think you’re too sensitive. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/4 "2000-09-18T05:08:15Z")
Since I managed to hunt the bastard down and squish him with a rather large rock, I guess I will go along with the hijack of my thread… I don’t know how the hell people manage to keep it such a quiet game. I mean, when someone gets a point, how do people resist abusing those mallets? ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/5 "2000-09-18T05:25:25Z")
Score points ? A mallet ? Well it’s a bat and you use it to score runs . 🙂 I’m sure if **Joachim Pieper** comes back to this thread he will clear all of this up but while I’m here this old explaination of cricket should help . Some people find the game of cricket difficult to understand. Perhaps the following will help: The game is played by two groups. The first group is in and the second group goes out. Some of the group which is in, go out. The group that is out, tries to get the group that is in, out. When one of the group that is in, is out, he goes in and the next one goes out. Then when all of the first group (except one) that is in, is out, the second group that is out goes in. The first group now go out and tries to get the second group, who now are in, out. Only when both groups have been in and out twice is there a conclusion. Is it clear now . ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/6 "2000-09-18T06:15:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monster104 \* > \*\*Since I managed to hunt the bastard down and squish him with a rather large rock… \*\* ::gasps:: Jiminy! ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/7 "2000-09-18T20:48:47Z")
I’m having flashbacks of Mr. Burns pressing his “Cricket Poison” button. Ahhhh, good television. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/8 "2000-09-18T20:52:56Z")
Next time use a tank mounted flame thrower. Range: 750 ft. You’ll never have to worry about crickets again. ---
**Author:** ![Stylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@Stylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stylus)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/9 "2000-09-18T21:19:44Z")
Crickets are cool…as long as you’re not trying to sleep. On a trip to California, my girlfriend and I stopped off in Texas to go to Six Flags. The map I was using indicated “a” Six Flags in Houston. When we arrived in Houston, I find out that the “real” Six Flags is five hours away in Dallas/Ft. Worth!! When we finally pull into Dallas it was nearly midnight, and I was exhausted. We find a hotel and crash. Fifteen minutes into our peaceful sleep we hear this obnoxious chirping…so loud, it could only mean that the cricket was in our room. We tried to pull pillows and blankets over our heads. But it got too hot and you could still hear that damn thing. In fact I think the chirping was getting louder! I was pissed. I got up and tried to find the fucker. Of all the places it could be hiding, it chose to get into the AC unit. I turned it on to try to put him into suspended animation, but it kept chirping. I started throwing pillows at the AC unit. That worked…for about 30 seconds! I then dug into the rest of my arsenal, ashtrays, shoes, bible, phone book. The phone book made such a wallop, I’m surprised no one came up to our room to see what the hell all the comotion was. All of these had the same result as the pillow. Now normal people would go to the front counter and request another room. But not me. I was beyond tired…I was at war. So I got a wire clothes hanger and started to jab it into every orifice on the AC unit. SUCCESS!! I saw the cricket jump toward the wall and try to hop away. But I got him. Threw the phone book on him just when he thought he was safe. Next time I’ll use neuroman’s advice and flame any crickets (with Lysol and a lighter). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/10 "2000-09-18T21:59:00Z")
_sniff_ But… crickets are our friends. I’ve always kind of found their chirping soothing. As long as I can hear them I know the Swamp Monster, or the Giant Cicada Beast, or The Horrible Thing from An Undisclosed Planet is not on the prowl in my neighborhood. Silence implies impending doom. I think you’re evil, killing our friends the crickets. ---
**Author:** ![Archer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archer)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/11 "2000-09-19T01:07:01Z")
You can buy an electronic cricket and stick it in someones bedroom. It starts chirping about five minutes after the lights go out and stops chirping as soon as the lights go on or there is other sound. For even more fun, put one in the bedroom and another in the sofa in case they go in there to get away from the cricket. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/12 "2000-09-19T01:27:09Z")
You’re evil. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/13 "2000-09-20T05:49:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Archer \* > \*\*You can buy an electronic cricket and stick it in someones bedroom. It starts chirping about five minutes after the lights go out and stops chirping as soon as the lights go on or there is other sound. For even more fun, put one in the bedroom and another in the sofa in case they go in there to get away from the cricket. \*\* Please tell me where I can get a hundred or so of these bad boys. There are some people who have pissed me off. Revenge shall be mine ! Er, um, I mean I just love the sound of crickets, yeah that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Archer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/14 "2000-09-21T00:38:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ayesha \* > > Please tell me where I can get a hundred or so of these bad boys. There are some people who have pissed me off. Revenge shall be mine ! > > Er, um, I mean I just love the sound of crickets, yeah that’s it. > > \*\* Okay, here you go: [http://www.vellman.be/kits/mk104.htm](http://www.vellman.be/kits/mk104.htm) I hope the link works for you. ---
**Author:** ![Archer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/15 "2000-09-21T00:42:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Archer \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Ayesha \* > > > > Please tell me where I can get a hundred or so of these bad boys. There are some people who have pissed me off. Revenge shall be mine ! > > > > Er, um, I mean I just love the sound of crickets, yeah that’s it. > > > > \*\* > > Okay, here you go: [http://www.vellman.be/kits/mk104.htm](http://www.vellman.be/kits/mk104.htm) > > I hope the link works for you. > \*\* Damn!!! [http://www.velleman.be/kits/mk104.htm](http://www.velleman.be/kits/mk104.htm) Sorry about the first link, this one works. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/16 "2000-09-21T00:47:34Z")
Texas crickets are _big!_ I’m spending this week in San Antonio, and yesterday I saw a cricket. Not your normal cricket. Arnold Schwarzencricket. Come to think of it, the dragonflies around here are industrial-sized, too. Impressive bugs here in Texas. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/17 "2000-09-21T01:32:01Z")
Jiminy I feel your pain… ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-cricket-outside/33560/18 "2000-09-21T18:46:16Z")
Thanks Archer, I’m off to plot my revenge er, make my visiting list now.