# There's a new Jack Chick tract, and boy is it a doozy!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [November 5, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495 "2001-11-05T00:23:57Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 10

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**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/181 "2001-11-09T05:49:49Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by vanilla \*  
> \*\*It certainly sparks their interest in witchcraft.  
> Not a good thing IMHO.  
> IRL, all my fellow christians and I believe witchcraft, casting spells, etc. are evil, and we teach our children this.  
> It would be like letting them read The Satanic Bible.  
> Scoff all you want, I wont be changing your opinion, nor you mine.  
> For the record, I think Mr. Chick is a bit screwy myself. \*\*

Can you provide a cite that shows that children have become more interested in witchcraft after reading Harry Potter? Have you ever discussed your son’s thoughts on the series? He might surprise you with his insights. Do you also keep Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy from him? After all, they’re all fantasy creatures, and contrary to popular belief, faeries throughout history aren’t the nice little guys everyone believes them to be.

My coworker, a devout Christian, lets her son read Harry Potter because she trusts her son to know the difference between fantasy and reality. Kids generally won’t change their religious preferences from that of their parents until they reach their mid to late teens.

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**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/182 "2001-11-09T07:19:24Z")

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DocCathode wrote:

> [@](#):
>
> God-“Are Moses and the boys back from trick or treating yet? I just finished rolling up the NPC’s for the new D&D campaign.”

Now I’m **sure** that story is apocryphal!  
Everyone knows that God uses the Hero System for His role-playing games.

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/183 "2001-11-09T14:26:10Z")

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throatshot: Yes, i have told my son that theres no guy in a red suit who magically brings presents on Xmas.  
He sees them at malls. I tell him those are real guys who dress up like that to celebrate Xmas.

Tranq: i said in real life. Do you know me?

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**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/184 "2001-11-09T14:39:16Z")

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There you have it, Tranq. According to the wondrous sage, vanilla, you and I are either not Christians or are not really alive. Fascinating. The mind boggles at the illogic, nay, at the ignorance of it.

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/185 "2001-11-09T14:48:31Z")

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Honestly now.  
I was simply asking if he knew me. Theres a guy who drives me and my son to church who sounds a lot like how he has described himself, I thought it might be him.  
I said in real life.  
I meant the people I actually know in person.  
Understand?  
Are you just following me to be rude, Monty?

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**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/186 "2001-11-09T15:10:19Z")

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I was going to stay out of this but I feel now is the time to put my ­2¢ in.

[li] **vanilla** presents an argument against Harry Potter.[/li][li] **vanilla** is challanged to back up that argument.[/li][li] **vanilla** fails to satisfactorily defend the argument.[/li]  
Therefore, does **vanilla** = **troll**?

Please note that I’m not really being serious here. Just presenting some food for thought.

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/187 "2001-11-09T15:12:20Z")

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Theres a good book here in my library. It shows all the relevant passages from the books,etc.  
I will try to find it and quote for ya.

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/188 "2001-11-09T15:13:39Z")

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expressing your opinion does not equal troll.

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**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/189 "2001-11-09T16:13:56Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by vanilla \*  
> \*\*expressing your opinion does not equal troll. \*\*

:rolleyes:  
My point was you were asked to back up your opinion. The fact that you have yet to do is one of the qualities of a troll. Had you recently became a member of the SDMB instead of 21 months ago, I would consider you a troll because of this.

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**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/190 "2001-11-09T17:10:02Z")

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I’ve had a pleasant email from **vanilla** , so now we can lay this one to rest: We don’t know each other.

It’s quite possible that all Christians **vanilla** knows IRL subscribe to beliefs similar to **Vanilla** ’s, so I’ll lay off on that subject.

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**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/191 "2001-11-09T17:55:43Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Tranquilis \*  
> \*\*  
> It’s quite possible that all Christians **vanilla** knows IRL subscribe to beliefs similar to **Vanilla** ’s, so I’ll lay off on that subject. \*\*

It’s also possible that **Vanilla** only considers people Christian if they subscribe to beliefs similar to **Vanilla** ’s.

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**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/192 "2001-11-09T18:06:32Z")

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I felt I should clarify my position on all this. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but when asked why our opinion is what it is we should be able to defend it. Getting flustered and saying things like “because that’s my opinion” or trying to change the subject is ignorant and the **Straight Dope** exists to fight ignorance.

There, I’ve said my piece and will go now.

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**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/193 "2001-11-09T18:25:27Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Tranquilis \*  
> \*\*I’ve had a pleasant email from **vanilla** , so now we can lay this one to rest: We don’t know each other.
> 
> It’s quite possible that all Christians **vanilla** knows IRL subscribe to beliefs similar to **Vanilla** ’s, so I’ll lay off on that subject. \*\*

Fair enough, as long as **vanilla** and the board at large understands that Christians as a whole do not subscribe to the belief that fantasy magic is harmful, and that real-life witchcraft is often beleived to be no more sinful than any other non-Christian religious practice.

But let’s back to the OP. Does anyone else think that the converts in Chick tracts are just faking it to escape Bob’s clutches? Anyone ever try this?

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**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/194 "2001-11-09T19:27:56Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Does anyone else think that the converts in Chick tracts are just faking it to escape Bob’s clutches?

You mean like rolling over and playing dead? Like one might do to avoid being eaten by a bear? Hmm… Dunno… _Might_ work. Of course, it’s be falling to your knees and playing _brain_ dead, but it’s worth a try. Hell, it might have uses outside of a Chick Tract!

* * *

BOSS: You’ve been slacking off too often! I catch you playing Unreal Tournament during business hours even _once_ more, and you’re on th…

LUSER1: NOOOoooo…! I’ve been so wrong all these years!  
\<\<Falls to knees\>\>  
Forgive me Jesus! I’m a sinnner and I don’t want to be cast into the lake of fire…! NOOoooo…!!  
\<\<weeps\>\>

BOSS: Uhm… Yeah, well… Ah, Don’t let it happen again…  
\<\<Wanders off, casting worried looks over shoulder\>\>

LUSER1: \<\<Gets to feet\>\>  
He’s gone. Quick, everyone, login!

LUSER2: \<\<Logging in\>\>  
Damn, Luser1, that was really slick! Where’d you learn _that_ move?

LUSER1: \<\<Back-shooting Luser2\>\>  
I learned everything I know from Jack Chick!

* * *

SCUZZY GUY IN BAR: Hey, yeah baby! How’s about you an’ me getting horizontal…?!

ANNOYED GIRL: Piss Off, Jack!  
\<\<Thows drink in SGIB’s face\>\>

SGIB: Wow! That was a White Russian! You must _reaally_ be hot for me! Hey, wanna do it in the bathroom…?

AG: \<\<Falls to knees, weeping\>\>  
Yes! I see how wrong I was, what a sinner! Save me Jesus! Make me righteous and clean!  
\<\<Falls onto face weeping\>\>

SGIB: Woah…! That’s too freeky for me. I’m Outta here…!  
\<\<Leaves\>\>

AG: \<\<Gets back to feet\>\>  
Bartender! Another White Russian!

BARTENDER: Wow! That’s the third Scuzzy Guy tonight! How do you get rid of them so fast?

AG: It’s all here in this little tract…  
\<\<hands over a Chick Tract\>\>

* * *

See? It’s got real possibilities for getting out of awkward social situations. Jack Chick, friend to everyone!

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**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/195 "2001-11-09T20:47:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by vanilla \*  
> Yes, i have told my son that theres no guy in a red suit who magically brings presents on Xmas.

You _also_ told him that Christmas was a pagan holiday, right? Where do you think the mistletoe and tree come from?

And as long as you’re banning pagan stuff, make sure to avoid Easter, since that’s a pagan fertility ritual, too. What, like eggs and rabbits weren’t enough of a hint? 🙂

(And everyone knows God uses **GURPS**. 😉 )

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**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/196 "2001-11-09T21:03:04Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> …everyone knows God uses **GURPS**.

Almost, but not quite, Heretic! God uses Melee and Magic from **MetaGames**!

[sub]MetaGames died for our sins. We can see but a shadow of what was, living on in SJGames.[/sub]

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**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/197 "2001-11-09T21:19:19Z")

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Hey what happened to Chick chat? Did this get Hijacked into a GD on Harry Potter and witchcraft?  
Dag nabbit I’m late for the party again  
I really liked that rating system posted by delphica.

How about a new post for those who wish to grade the Tracts available? Set up rules for rating and… would that stay in the BBQ?

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/198 "2001-11-10T21:12:44Z")

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Menocc: Yes, its just my opinion. I don’t think other christians have to share my opinions to be chrsitian.  
Thank you.  
Re: easter: We call it resurrection day. Its all about Jesus, when he rose from the dead.  
We do eat chocolate bunnies though.  
Why? Why not?  
Monty still didn’t tell me what Mr. Chicks beliefs are. I doubt theyre all the same as mine.

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**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/199 "2001-11-10T22:12:51Z")

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Vanilla:

You do have access to a computer, don’t you? Got to Chick’s site. IIRC, you made a big deal about agreeing so much with ol’ ARG’s theology and he stated explicitly on this board that his theology was Chick’s.

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**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/200 "2001-11-10T23:38:12Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by vanilla \*  
> Count me as one of mnay (but no one else on the sdmb) who thinks Harry Potter is intended to teach children witchcraft. And yes, i won’t let my son read it.

Point Wand at \*\*vanillia

_RIDDICULOS!!!_

Pop!\*\*  
Watch Vanilla Scurry back into the closet.

😃

I knew that Defense Against Dark Arts class would come in handy.  
[Reholster wand and head off to class]

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